driv, im dying bc im the one who has to write the rest of this🥲 but also i keep going like "did i actually write this"
Keep going! Just power through. Put on the right music - and if your playlist isn’t helping you with the topic itself, put on something that gets YOU feeling creative and ready to make stuff happen and switch back when you feel it even if it’s not the right vibe for the piece - and just plow through! One of the great things about getting exasperated and lost in writing a chapter or segment that takes a while is that, when you’re done, you’ve dumped SO much effort into it that it’s pretty easy to forget how well the work is pieced together. Get it to where you can say, “Okay, I’m done with this part.”
Don’t look back. Don’t refer to the start or middle of the segment you’re writing. Just keep going until you’re at a reasonable point where you could call it done, or keep writing if you wanted to. Deny yourself the pleasure of seeing what you’ve already managed to get written. Edge yourself to the climax (of the plot).
Then, when you’re ready to plop that baby into wherever you like to post - AO3, Tapas, Patreon, etc. - into the box where the piece goes. Click Preview.
Now read. Without the blue, green, and red “edit me” squiggles from the software you use in the way, you should hopefully magically find yourself scrutinizing your writing a lot less and enjoying it a lot more. By doing this, you’re not a writer anymore; you’re now off the clock. You’re not being a narcissist. Read your own work in the spirit of enjoying it for yourself, not for anyone else, and make a judgment call on if you’re happy with it, or if there are things you want to change, erase, or reorganize. Especially if you’re writing some premium smut about your premium blorbos, cramming your unedited work into a Preview page will take your thinky-brain out of the mix.
You’re a good writer. You have it in you. Just listen closely to what your gut tells you. Do whatever it is you need to do to knock your “is this good enough?” anxiety in the kneecaps and enjoy. your. self. If there’s something glaringly off or simply doesn’t mesh well with the scene, your tastes as a reader will point that out to you much more clearly than your tastes as a writer will.