As I awaken to a bright morning sun, my eyes see the light, but my heart is empty and dark. I feel gravity pulling harder than yesterday, harder than ever before. I feel nailed to the floor. I decide to function anyway, putting my heart aside, hoping the darkness will fade away. I get in the shower and the darkness grows, the water against my back feels like needles of reality. I close my eyes and embrace the pain. Even though it intensifies, I continue to embrace it until I'm convinced that I deserve it.
I attempt to bury the pain that I've accepted, but it rages on inside me unwilling to be tucked away. My eyes tell my story as I look into the mirror, I feel ashamed of who I have become. I latch onto any glimmer of hope that the light will consume me once more. But in my heart I know where the light is. My heart as seen the light, my heart has felt the light before. But in this time of darkness the light feels too far away.
I continue with my day, accepting and working to understand the darkness that consumes me. Struggling to stay aware of the light that is only a thought away. In these times the darkness overpowers the light, it makes me cold, emotionless, fearful, and it consumes my soul.
The thought of you can ignite my soul, destroy the darkness inside me, and give me the light that will shine through me and onto others. You hold me together, you provide the light that is my hope, you are my strength. The darkness is powerful and much bigger than me, but I have found that with you, we have the ability to remove the darkness from our souls. We can overcome our deepest fears through the light that our love provides to the universe.
The simple thought of you has helped me through so much, to read your words, to hear your voice. You shine through more and more of my world every day, protecting my heart from the darkest areas of my life. The ways you protect me are not often seen by others, but you keep me safe from the darkness in the world in which I live.