The culmination of my fangirl life is complete
Soooooooo... I turned in my MA Literature thesis today.
My 108-page thesis about Spuffy shipper fic as Literature. Using queer theory. And deconstruction. And Bakhtin. And close reading of my favorite piece of fanfiction of all time, “West of the Moon, East of the Sun” by @madlymel (she’s reposting an edited version of it on AO3, but if you want to read the version of it I used, you can here: http://www.bloodshedverse.com/stories.php?go=chapters&no=12116)
Something 11 year old budding fangirl me could not possibly imagine.
As one of my cohort said when she read a chapter: “You got to write about Spuffy penguin sex in your Master’s thesis. You’re basically winning at grad school.” (No seriously, I wrote about the subgenre of Penguin!Spuffy in the coda of my thesis. You can read the fanfic that started it all here: http://quinara.livejournal.com/125878.html)
I just want to take a moment to reflect on how important fandom has been to my life, and how much I appreciate the Spuffy shipper community. I basically grew up and developed as a person through reading fic (including fic that was wildly inappropriate given my age), commenting on stories, reading meta on LiveJournal, and even trying to write fic of my own (though I never finished a single story). I was a pretty lonely kid stuck in Catholic school, so some of my first friends with similar interests to me were made online in fandom. And some of my current friends IRL were made through fandom and Spuffy shipping. Grad school may have kept me off tumblr, but I’m definitely still a #fangirl4lyfe.
Even though I never finished writing a piece of fanfiction, I actually managed to finish over a hundred pages of critical work legitimizing one of my favorite things on earth. And I got to affirm my fangirl, Spuffy shipper realness. Some people feel squicky about writing about fandom in academia, and I can see their concerns about exploitation or overgeneralization of fandom or violation of authorial permissions. But I think it’s really important work to push against the notion that shipper fic is just hysterical fangirl drivel. Academia is just the platform I ended up having the opportunity to do so, and I tried to avoid problems as best I could.
So anyways, this is my thank you to the Buffy fandom and to Spuffy shippers everywhere. I love you, you’ve carried me through good and bad times, and you guys are amazing! When I posted looking for AU/AH fic converted into gen fic (which I didn’t even end up using for my thesis, sadly) y’all came through, and it reminded me what a wonderful community fandom can be sometimes...