This book would be pretty good for someone who likes close to real-world teen stories. If you feel any connection or relatability to the main character it's worth the read. Now this review is coming from someone who experiences maladaptive daydreaming. The back of the book frames the main character as if she has maladaptive daydreaming herself and that's why I was drawn to reading the book. Further this book has characters that are LGBTQ+ and alternative, I myself am both these things.
Now this particular genre is one I don't read and I wouldn't have read the book if it hadn't been free. I strongly stick to fantasy, horror, supernatural and sci-fi. I did enjoy this book but I wouldn't buy it. This was me giving this genre a chance and I'm satisfied but not impressed and I've got little desire to read more. I'd recommend this book as a preteen/tween novel, around 11-14. I'd class it as being better suited to the children's (9-12) section than YA section if it wasn't for the alcohol consumption and point blank sex mentions.
A book summary is pretty straightforward as not a whole lot happens. Basically the main character (Victoria) lives a boring life where every day is the same but this makes her parents happy. She dreams of being a singer and loves to make oddly specific playlist. Eventually these dreams get a chance to be reality and on top of that she falls for the sight of two boys. She also has a best friend named Annie who is far too tight laced of a person. The book also delves into dealing with parents wants and child's wants clashing. That's pretty much all there is to the book. Frankly the book is at least 20 chapters too long for the material and there's tons of filler.
World building is bare minimum which is unsurprising since the world it's in is just the real world basically.
Characters: All the characters are simple straightforward and cookie cutter Victoria is your shy "please the parents" girl who learns to break the rules for her own happiness. Annie is your school obsessed neat freak that learns to loosen up Levi is your work before everything unattached boy who really learns nothing. Strand is your bad boy womaniser who learns to be a little less of a creep. Krina is your edgy alternative badass lesbian who gets some genuine love (honestly this is the highlight of the book). A note in Annie's character: she's framed as this supposed happy positive good influence character. But she's actually painfully depressing. Whenever she thinks she's rights she just forces people into stuff, by whatever means, it's to the point of being cruel. A note about Victoria's character: She is for a lack of better words (plus this suits the book which attempts to be "edgy" and "vulgar") a whiny bitch.
Stereotypes: (yes I had to make a section just for this because the amount of stereotypes in this book is physically painful) The Book can't even go two pages without throwing puppy dog love at you. Plus the boy is "unobtainable" and a "bad boy jackass" talk about a stereotype. On top of this there's instalove with a totally different boy. Not even two chapters after the onset of puppy dog love for Mr.bad boy. Queue stereotypical good guy geek vs womanising bad boy love triangle. And of course, it turns into quite nervous shy sheltered girl makes a loyal decent man out of the bad boy. Plus good guy geek being Nice Guytm. Heavy emotions are mentioned to be always premenstrual which is a massive incorrect stereotype that women are bloody sick and tired of hearing. The book is wholeheartedly unable to sperate romance from sexuality. Apparently not kissing somehow equals "sexually stunted" (what? O_o). Feeding into the stereotype that relationships need the sexy stuff. The Mohawked alternative girl Krina is a walking stereotype. Fake id to get into bars, drinking pigs blood, being a "sexual deviant", scary, rebelling against society, hates beauty standards etc if you're going to do an alt girl do it right instead of low key insulting any alt folks that might read the book. But at least the author had the sense to make her a left-leaning feminist. As most alt folks actually are left-leaning feminists. Making the alternative feminist a lesbian was pretty stereotypical even if alt folks have higher rates of being LGBTQ+. Thankfully this stereotype is offset by the two other LGBTQ+ girls. However queue Stereotypical cute girl prep dates stereotypical edgy alt girl. (Not sure how much I can trash this stereotype tho as cutesy pretty girl is exactly my type). However Krina being a lesbian doesn't feel like an attempt at brownie points and neither do the other LGBTQ+ character. Victoria's father was a ladies man who "knows what boys are like", hello stereotypical overprotective dad. Her parents overall are stereotypical "we know what's best for you" "your friends need to be good kids" "rock music is a bad influence". But they truly appear to care and have heart felt-ish conversations with her. As soon as the Victoria is introduced to alcohol she practically becomes a drunkard and regrets everything she does whenever drunk. Hello stereotypical demonisation of alcohol and being drunk. Lastly, There's the "cats are cold distant pricks" stereotype thrown in for good measure.
Some stuff that's simply wrong or ridiculous to reality or to me: Again with the Author chalking up emotional behaviour as "premenstrual", that's not how that works at all. Someone being emotional doesn't equal them being on or near the period. The Book can't wait even 4 chapters before shoving it that the main character is vegetarian. Which I just have a personal issue with as no minor should be intentionally having an unbalanced and less healthy diet. The author throws in a "veal is baby animal and makes you vomit" scene just to guilt trip the reader/meat eaters, it's very rude and is shitty vegan/vegetarian agenda/propaganda. Thankfully Victoria drops the whole vegetarian thing and the entire book would have been far better off without the vegetarian thing thrown in. Plus removing the vegetarian thing would have removed an awful lot of the filler. Victoria is a total mess yet is also day in day out the same. It's illogical. The character can go from freaking out to the point of near vomiting to being good to go in two sentences. Real people aren't like this. The book summary makes it sound like the main character has maladaptive daydreaming, she very obviously doesn't. Daydreaming is rarely mentioned and even then it's nothing more than a mental scene to go along to music. I'll give the author slack for this tho seeing as the author and book never directly says Victoria has maladaptive daydreaming. However when you literally describe the main character as "living inside her fantasies", further to book title is a very unapologetic nod to living side your own head; the author might as well have said maladaptive daydreaming. As mentioned earlier the book can't sperate sexual from romantic. In real life no ones relationship (especially a minors relationship) has romance and sexual behaviour so heavily tied. This will be extremely off-putting to any asexual readers or really anyone who understands romance without sex.
Some other things: The quotes at the beginning of chapters are unfitting and just don't belong. Tossing cheerios into Krina spiked Mohawk was freaking adorable. "Cutlet-related violence" is actually pretty hilarious. And I like that it becomes a running joke. The book does a decent-ish job at points for making you feel bad or relate to the main character even if every attempt is covered in tons of stereotypical stuff. The 40's chapters do a great job of making the main character totally soul crushed almost to the point of being full blown depressed. Annie and Krina are adorable together and the book sets them up for perfect chemistry. The last 10-ish chapters are actually fantastic and do a great job at surprising and satisfying the reader. The cover is somewhat creative, has an old-timey feel (which I know is popular with hipsters *sigh*) and is a nod to the book being predominately about music.
Overall the book was passable but would qualify as good if you like the specific genre. However, it is filled to the brim with stereotypes and unnecessary attempts to be "edgy". It feels like an adult trying to pass as a hip teen. The representation of LGBTQ+ teens is nice and done decently. The representation of subcultural/alternative teen is nice to see but done quite poorly. I'd say give to book a go for cheap.
Having gym outside in the sun is just asking for trouble really; especially when Fenton’s practically attracts trouble.
They had been running, outside because why the Zone would Amity be sane and have people inside during rainy crappy weather. Though fine, the new gym teacher was a lot nicer than Testlauf ever was, and drastically less insane too. Even if it was a bit weird having a teacher who seemed to care about each of their personal fitness over just having a fit class in general. Meaning he actually was trying to spend time with each student and give them personal pointers. Only a few problems with that for Danny, the teacher didn’t know him and his weird at all, Danny’s body didn’t even abide by normal physique so any advice was much less useful, and finally, Danny was actively pretending to be less fit than he was. That last one was the one being a problem right now, Danny’s gym cloths covered him head to toe but definitely didn’t hide his muscles as well as his normal thick baggy clothing did. At least they covered the scars though. That was something.
“Come on Danny, I know you can run faster than this”, Camp Bell very pointedly looks down at Danny’s legs and to his -definitely not heaving- chest, purely for emphasis. Most people would look at the tall thick tube socks and assume that’s what was giving any level of definition to his lower legs, but he wasn’t quite that oblivious. And occasionally the loose oversized gym shorts made it clear they weren’t covering skinny twig legs. The weirdest thing was the kid acting like he was slightly tired when he clearly wasn’t. He just wasn’t trying and seemed lazy instead. Camp would get it, some people just don’t give a damn about fitness. But Danny clearly did. If Camp had to guess, he’d say the kid was more fit than most of the sports kids. And it wasn’t even the kind of fit he usually saw on teens, even ones that did workout a lot. And he handled the slick muddy terrain like it wasn’t even wet at all. While everyone else’s feet would at least occasionally slip or stagger; Danny’s just never did.
Danny grunts, trying to seem like he’s doing everything in his power to ignore the teacher, “don’t wanna”, then looking up, like most of the class, at the bang of thunder and flash across the sky. Danny mentally noting how they weren’t very far apart at all, so the lightning was pretty close by actually. It honestly made him feel a little nice and comfy inside.
Ever since the whole Vortex thing, he had a bit of a liking for storms. And of course the ghost in him just liked the chaos storms could cause by nature, as well. Course, he preferred a snowstorm over thunder and lightning. Totally his ice Cores fault for that particular preference. Lightning always did make him feel energised though, and tingly. That, he firmly blamed on the whole died by electrocution thing. Feeling the hairs on his body frizz out a little at another flash of lightning, muscles and bones vibrating with the thunder. Flexing a little -which yeah, he probably shouldn’t do- at just kind of wanting to genuinely run, or preferably fly, through the electrified air.
Camp shakes his head, “why not? The entire point of this class is to give you kids a chance for some quality guided exercise and of course sports. You clearly do look after your body, so why not take advantage of having someone knowledgable around?”. Pausing and stopping to stand with pretty much the rest of the class at actually seeing lightning strike the ground. Alright, maybe it would be best to move back inside at this point. Dodging lightning bolts was not a form of exercise. At least not a good safe one. Side-eyeing the black-haired teen, seeing the muscles around his neck tensing slightly. Camp would question if maybe the boy was bothered even possibly frightened of the weather, that would explain the reserved running, if it weren’t for the slight smile and rather happy twinkling in his eyes.
Camp shakes his head and steps away to be more in the centre of the running teens, cupping his hands over his mouth, “alright eveyone! We’ll be heading back in for a quick round of dodgeball!”, mentally chuckling overhearing a few groans. Everyone either loved or hated dodgeball, but it was good for them to experience. Less rigid than typical sports and fostered either resourceful sneakiness or confidence.
Danny sighs, sure he usually intentionally let himself get hit/knocked out but it rubbed his ghostly ego the wrong way and the jocks always threw with the intent to hurt rather than win. Grumbling, “oh just kill me now”. Then, as if the universe was attempting to answer his annoyance, he promptly gets struck by lightning square in the chest and thrown back into the muddy grass. Danny for his part just shouts, “oh shit!”, and groans on the ground, “I didn’t mean that literally”.
Meanwhile, everyone else either screamed/squealed or were openly gapping. Camp is frankly shocked at hearing someone mutter, sounding almost bored, “oh, it’s just Fenton. Of course it’s Fenton. Why wouldn’t it be? Who cares”. While he runs over to the downed teen. Who just waves him off with a hand from the ground.
“I’m fine. I’m good. I’m okay. Holy Shit”. Danny’s just think on ‘Oh so this is how being electrocuted feels’ considering he didn’t actually remember feeling the electricity from his death. He sure as shit remembers the feeling of a portal opening up on/in him though. Even if that/this probably isn’t how being struck by freaking lightning feels to a normal person. Considering he can feel the ectoplasm in him basically absorbed the charge and is more or less vibrating like mad. He so does not want to sit still right now.
Springing up onto his feet and shaking out his arms, giving the slightly gapping teacher a wide smile, “whelp, now I’ve got something else to add to my list”.
Camp blinks and shakes his head, grabbing the boy’s shoulder, “what? Boy, you were just struck by lightning”.
A red-haired teen gets his attention by waving her hand dismissively, “Danny’s always gettin’ hurt. He’s got some weird contamination thingy though, so it absorbs the blows or whatever”.
Camp blinks at that, what? He had heard that the Fenton’s were a bit strange and had heard more than a few rumours that Danny specifically was quite strange. But some kind of condition or ‘contamination’ that could let him get hurt and just be... fine? That seemed ludicrous. Looking to one of the sporty boys, who adds in, “yeah, freak got like, stabbed or something last week. He was fine in, like, minutes”.
Camp just blinks as a few others start adding in their two cents, seemingly uncaring about the poor weather now that they weren’t running in it.
“Oh and remember when his arm got set on fire? He didn’t even seem to notice”.
“Pretty sure Dash made him eat poison once and legit nothing happened. Guy was pissed”.
“Course nothing did, the freaks house is a poison”.
“And hasn’t he been stabbed, like, a lot though? Lightning is a definitely new one”.
Emile nods, “oh yeah, has to be”. Everyone looking to Danny then, Camp included. Making the teacher actually note now how the teen's shirt was burnt up before everyone gapes at another boot of lightning striking Danny and sending him shooting sideways and back onto the ground.
Danny groans, “well, it’s definitely not a new one now”, and pushes himself up, shaking mud off his hands dramatically and grumbling, “also, I’m not a fucking lightning rod”.
Camp blinks, “language”, and shakes himself off to shoo people inside. The last thing he wanted was someone else getting struck. Before grabbing Danny’s shoulder again, how could this kid seriously be okay? “Are you actually alright? What do they mean by ‘contaminated’? And- woah”, cutting himself off a little at Danny basically peeling off the charred burnt shirt. The boys' undershirt’s even burnt up a fair bit and frankly smells rather nasty. But that all gets him a glimpse at what Danny’s actually got going on. Camp’s pretty sure he’s never seen someone with an actual seriously defined six-pack. Then there’s the ridiculous amount of scarring.
Danny blinks at Mr. Bell and moves his definitely obliterated shirt to cover up his burnt undershirt a little, “I’m good and dandy, let’s just go let people hurt each other with rubber balls. And it’s an ecto-contamination thing. Totally unique and totally got it handled. Don’t worry about me and mine”. Snapping his head around at more thunder and light flashing, “yup, no worries here. Prefer not to do that again though soooo”, and gestures to the school building. He actually wouldn’t mind too much, but he definitely feels a bit like the damn energiser bunny and would rather not just stand still.
Camp watches the teen go and frowns a little bit. Officially pretty sure Danny’s fitness was acquired in dangerous ways. Not much he can really do and it’s not like he actually knew any of his students well yet. He still wants to tell the boy to go to the nurse, at the very least. Shaking his head and heading inside, glaring at the sky before closing the gym door.
He’s honestly not too surprised the teens have already grabbed the balls, divided into teams -definitely unfair teams though-, and started. Camp missing his chance to send Danny off as the boy grabs a spare gym shirt and joins the team with precisely zero jocks. Watching him grin almost maliciously and rub his hands together. Camp raises his eyebrows, pretty sure he saw literal sparks in the teens' palms. Did Danny quite literally absorb the lightning? Watching him grab up a ball and whip it across the room, one of the jocks yelping, “you shocked me!”, making everyone pause before Camp watches absolute Hell break loose. With everyone basically clamouring for Danny to hit them but also trying to avoid being hit. Camp mumbles, “alright, so this town is actually rather insane”.
Danny just smirks and rubs his hands on another ball, this was fun and he didn’t even really have to throw the balls hard or try to avoid thrown balls. After zapping Todd, there was no way anyone was going to actually try knocking him out. Everyone wanting the added novelty and craziness of electrified balls, because Amity was wild and used to danger. Danny was just liking the chaos of it. Bouncing around and ruffling up one of the smaller geeks hair, snickering at it puffing up with static. Though he does notice Mr. Bell mouthing ‘nurse after’ at him. Which fine, that was a reasonable request. Even if said nurse would take one look at him, realises he’s, well, him, and shoo him off without even checking him over. He’s pretty sure the nurse thinks he’s immortal or something.
Danny rolls his eyes good-naturedly at the teacher and grabs up another ball; snickering at the sparking, which fine, he just might be adding just a teeny tiny bit of ecto-electricity too for funsies.
I was drunk and weird so here have a fic that is entirely dialogue
“You don’t have to live like this”
“I know”
“You could just tell them”
“I know”
“And yet, you don’t. Why?”
“Because”
“That’s not an answer”
“I know”
“You sure know a lot... but seriously, why?”
“Change is seldom for the best, and ghost don’t change”
“You’re not fully ghost”
“I know”
“...so, I don’t think that applies to you”
“How old do I look?”
“Still looking fourteen doesn’t matter”
“It’s a lack of change, it matters”
“Well I don’t think it does”
“Why?”
“It just doesn’t, Phantom. Sure you’re in your twenties and still look like a teen. Most humans would take that as a compliment”
“Looking sixteen? Sure. Not fourteen”
“Ugh. You get what I mean. You just- you don’t have to do this. Choose to do this. To leave. Just tell them”
“I know but I do”
“No, you don’t. And that’s still not an answer”
“I’m sure you can figure it out for yourself”
“... I get that the not ageing will get ‘creepy’ to the humans but if they know they’re not going to care. You’re one of them for peat’s sake”
“If you really believe that then you’re a fool”
“And why do you not believe in half of your own species?”
“Experience. Simple. Humans are not creatures of acceptance. Of loving the different and new. Take anything too far past the norm and all they see is something to destroy. To mock. To shame. To hate. To fear. That’s the way it’s always been. The way it’s always going to be. And so this is the way things have to be for me”
“Huh. At least that was something of an answer. But I don’t agree”
“Doesn’t matter if you do. Things are the way they are. Your thoughts, feelings, and even prayers; won’t change anything”
“Well then what about doing something? You could take a chance. Change things. Even just telling them would do something”
“I’m one and I’m young. It would do less than you think. If I were caught, it would hardly be me alone suffering”
“Not getting caught is a specialty of yours”
“My human form is largely to thank”
“You wouldn’t need that as a crutch if you told them”
“Against the government and other hunters, I would”
“Huh. I still don’t agree with that. Your parents are influential”
“And considered crazy”
“Your friends are influential. All three of them”
“And they’re already doing what they can. It changes nothing”
“So what? You’re just going to run off and keep running every time people start to notice you’re ‘strange’“
“Yes”
“What about Amity?”
“It has hunters, skilled ones”
“And for how long? How long are you going to do this to yourself?”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“No. No, it’s not”
“I am undead. Not alive. Not dead”
“And? So what?”
“Living can not fade, so I am an unfade. The dead can not die, so I am a deathless. Tell me, what does being a deathless unfade make me?”
“... immortal. That makes you immortal”
“Indeed”
“So... forever. You’re going to just keep going like this till the earth falls apart”
“Eternity. Infinity. There are many ways to say it”
“That. That’s kind of awful”
“I know”
“And you’re just going to... accept that? Willingly be like that?”
“Yup”
“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind? Because this, you’re giving up everything human society wise”
“‘Fraid not”
“Huh. So where are you going to go? Are you even saying goodbye?”
“I find that would be cruel. West”
“Leaving at all is cruel”
“Be that as it may, it changes nothing and it’s far crueller a thing to let them blame themselves for my absence”
“They’re going to do that regardless”
“But less this way”
“You’re impossible”
“I know“
“Huh. So after ‘west’ what are you going to do, where are you going to go. When people continue to notice”
“Then I’ll continue on like I always have. With little plan and no looking back”
“... you’re going to destroy yourself. And I don’t mean physically”
“Most likely, yes”
“Yet you just... don’t care”
“I’m aware“
“And I know I can’t just fight you. Make you stay. Make you change things”
“Obviously”
“So I guess I... just have to let you go too huh?”
“Guess so”
“There’s a big part of me that hates you for this”
“I know”
“... well. Go then. Get. And honesty? Maybe don’t come back”
“Don’t intend to”
“... fine”
“Fine. May death be good to you”
“... I’d say the same to you, but...”
“That’s not the way things work for me?”
“Yeah. And let me guess, that won’t change either?”
“Doubtful. Not that I’m bothered”
“Clearly”
“Seems the moon’s up now, calling my name. So I think I’ll go chase it. It was nice knowing you”
“... you too. I’m never going to support this decision though”
You stand in front of this particular Door of Revelations, “lexoendus”.You’ve been warned to go with caution, though you can’t see why; they played few games and never toyed with anything but people’s ocular sanity. Though the door qualifies as odd for sure.
“Eh, I think it’s kinda stylish though not practical at all” patting your bag, checking that what you need is all there. Some food and drink, but most importantly your notes and The Knife of Revelations.
“The handy work on this thing is still toothtastic” you compliment, eyeing the blade of sculpted teeth. Putting it back you then glance down to your notes on the Lexx virus, proper prep and all that jazz, You think with a teeth-baring chuckle.
:Lexonervosa:
A highly contagious virus that attacks the central nervous system. After fully infecting a host the virus cells hideaway in the heart
:Symptoms:
Riddle obsession
Visible mask hiding identity
Mild paranoia of being cured
Desire to torment d-o-t-s
Increase in shitposting
Narrow obsession with one unique thing that comes to define their existence henceforth
Sudden onset chaos
Forming symbolic bonds with other infected
Formation of a hidden Door of Revelations.
:Treatment:
Either unravel the riddles revealing their identity or eliminate the virus by finding and destroying the heart inside the Lexx’s form.
Running your tongue across your teeth you knock on the door, it creaks open and you’re are greeted by a HORRIFYING looking doorman.
“hel-“, slamming the door shut but you reopen it because goddammit you have to do this. “-lo”, slamming the door again because fuck man you were not ready. Reopening the door slowly this time, but instead of speaking he simply raises an eyebrow; eyeing him and his harsh vertically stripped strawberry red suit cautiously you say “uh”.
He takes that as freedom to speak while moving his limbs spastically he speaks with a mouth that’s alarmingly big and way too sharp. “It’s a pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure” he drags you in, both light pink hands on your right arm, his grip is quite strong borderlining on painful. The door giving a sudden and damning slam behind you “excuse my abrupt appearance but I saw your fiasco with the others and I just couldn’t resist!” Physically twirling you around to face him close enough that you could feel his breath if he had one, he’s hunched over so that he’s only slightly taller than you. “What a performance!”
He Springs up to his full high suddenly, this guy must be at least 9 feet tall. “Why I haven’t been that entertained since the great political scandal of two one zero six!” He exclaims cranking his neck at painful and inhuman degrees wildly from side to side. The fact that he sounds out each number instead of saying them as a whole, is definitely all kinds of wrong; especially when he turns his head at a new angle after every number. He smiles wide “.....Soooo much tragedy” he mumbles.
You feel sweat on your neck and are completely confused by this door and this man. Lexoendus while alarming seemed innocent enough! Why the heck is there a freakishly tall skinny man?
Even his eyes are wrong, perpetually opened wide; you rarely see his eyelids. Either not noticing your mild distress or not caring, you can’t tell, this strange man continues “See I’m here because I want to help!” On that note he shoves you, with the head of his hooked crimson cane, down a hill which you hadn’t even noticed was there.
You stubble down into a land of teeth.
Small teeth
“Behold these approaching visitors” 🎵
Big teeth
“How I pity unwitting prisoners”🎵
Sharp teeth
“Welcome to the dark world”🎵
Blunt teeth
“In front of you unfurled”🎵
Mountains of them
“A beauty toying within your heart”🎵
Fields of flowers whose petals bite
“Hearts to burn out as you fall apart“🎵
Trees whose fang leaves would stab you if they fell
“How I wonder what for your searchin”🎵
Some stained with blood
“Come to see what keeps my world turnin”🎵
Some with dirt
“In the dark only green eyes see”🎵
And yet others bleached by exposure.
“There’s a game to be played that’ll see us free”🎵
Your toothy fall finally stills just as the doorman’s cane stabs into the ground next to your head. Standing you notice the thick barbed wire wrapping around his cane, that thing is a weapon for sure. He eyes you up and down, points his cane forward then taps your heels with the cane.
“That’s the direction you seek sweetie” Getting the message you begin walking. You frequently have to step lightly over yet another snapping flower or dodge a falling tooth-leaf. I mean I adore twinkling shiny teeth and all but this is absurd. He walks a bit in front of you smiling all the while. You’re positive that he smiles wider every time something sharp comes a little to close to you for comfort. “What is all this and what is with that singing¿?¿” at this point, you have no clue what to expect. A sea of teeth would be pretty cool to see though you can’t help but think.
“Step outside with me, be a pawn no more”🎵
He gives a curled smile and twirls his cane.
“I’ve never had such fun, fun before”🎵
The occasional flash of eyes sky blue or radioactive green doesn’t make any of this seem more normal. “Why, it’s just what grows from Its presence” he is making a show of revealing as few teeth as possible while saying that. You are unsure if that’s comforting or deeply concerning. Especially since you don’t know why there even is a doorman.
“You’ve fallen so far, then farther”🎵
Shouldn’t there only be the main with a Lexx mask on or Lexx suit if that door symbolized anything. “See dearie, even sealed away It’s essence still drips” he points to the black ink-like substance dripping down the walls, or what you think might be walls, of this place.
“Deep into the dark, darker yet darker”🎵
“It’s twisted nature, echoed in this place” he waves his hand out
“Is it the time to set these disgusting chains on fire”🎵
“It? What “It”” you stare cautiously at his back noticing him smile wickedly and glance with one eye at you. Not stopping or slowing his pace.
“Decades ago It manifested seemingly overnight, It began to topple ghosts who had been-“
“It seems like a lifetime ago”🎵
“-dominate since the beginning. -“
“Since I was free to glow”🎵
“Such raw power hand never been seen before, many have speculated what unimaginable -“
“Time for the fangs of gold”🎵
“- force enabled It to rival the zones most evil and destructive -“
“The story must be told”🎵
“- beings but one things for sure -“
“Domain built for a king”🎵
“-It is an unpredictable cause of destruction -“
“Megalomaniac to extreme”🎵
“-a wicked source of mystery -“
“This corrupted mind”🎵
“-and a violent monster of chaos”
“Is one of a kind”🎵
“The monster of ghosts long before”
“Full of corruption but that’s okay”🎵
“Creating paths of blood that followed It’s every word” slowing his pace and lifting up his cane as if it’s a staff he sweeps it around drawing your eyes over the land. “Until, deep into this darkened forest, captured and imprisoned.”
“All restrictions will die away”🎵
“Uh, What kind of person is behind this Lexx!?” Your bewildered expression earns a hollow laugh. His expression one of loathing, of someone who’s put off revenge too long.
“It’s not worth losing sleep”🎵
“Who are you¿?¿” You can no longer help but ask. Some weird doorman that shouldn’t exist who clearly has motives of some kind. His wicked grin returns with a vengeance “Why dearie me, how could I have forgotten something so utterly unimportant” he says that last word in a way that’s sickeningly sweet. But his scratching voice is all wrong for such a tone.
“It’s not worth analyzing” 🎵
“I am -”
“I’m not the bad guy”🎵
“- Atlas” he finishes with something close to a bow. This is the closest you’ve gotten to getting him to stop moving.
“I’m just a bit surprising”🎵
You eye him carefully, he has the name of a guide but he’s still weird. “Well, you seem like the kind of “atlas” that guides people to” looking around “toothy deaths” Entirely stopping he tilts his head painfully to the left at a perfect 90-degree angle. “Dear if I wanted to hurt anybody here, I would have done so already” with a too large grin. Again you’re unsure of whether you’re comforted or more concerned.
You two have been walking along for a while now, you’ve noticed that as you’ve walked the teeth have become more deformed, more damaged and more rotten. Honestly, they’re still pretty, though I prefer the more pearly ones. Not to mention there’s actually a smell accompanying it, you scrunch your nose up. Atlas suddenly hooks the back of your shirt with the curve of his cane and lifts you up to his eye level, ToothTacular Christ this man is tall! “Down where the monsters hide, normal is just a dream for all the ghosts like It”
“Uh, ok¿” You respond to his out of left field statement still dangling from his cane.“You lost your mind lassie, can’t be doing that here” putting you down he continues on with a playful glare. “I’m pretty sure he did that just to be a toothy dick” You mutter. “If you notice the scents you’re thinking too much.” He states tapping you on the nose with his cane.
Deciding that ignoring him is probably a bad idea, chuckling you state “I’m just here to purge this Lexx virus, eyeing the scenery might help me find It since you seem to be either taking me the long way around or are just a distraction” adding “though all the glistening teeth are rather pretty, like all the stars in space fell to earth.” Earning a genuine chuckle from the smiling doorman.“This whole Lexx thing, this simple virus, has been quite the thing! if I do say so” with an odd bow towards you “which I do” he finishes with a toothy smirk and a suspicious narrowing of his eyes.
“Which gave me a new gig“🎵
“Uh yeah, it’s made for lots of jokes, even new friends.” You smile fondly. Grinning wide, he replies “Oh, I’m certain it has sweet cheeks!”
“Caused for tons of people to show off those bones in their jaws that don’t have any flaws.” Eyeing his grinning teeth with a level of admiration, the man clearly cares about them “which you seem to be doing a lot yourself”. Chuckling “of course, I’ve got no reason not to.”
“let me know if you dig”🎵
“Now why don’t we get to something juicy!” He straightens with a harsh jerk and a wider smile.”since you seem so eager to be all, one and done” he twirls his cane while also twirling his free hand.
“Ain’t going home so better go big”🎵
You had long since stopped paying attention to the odd ass song being sung or played, you didn’t know. Though maybe that hadn’t been such a wise choice.
Grinning wildly he continues on, both with his feet and his large mouth. “The Lexx you seek isn’t much father, but lassie you lack what you need. And I don’t care to be a bother to your time or my own.”
“What do you mean? I’ll just go up and tell them to give up the ghost. Shits over, parties done -“
“Everything I’ve done in this plight”🎵
“- pack up your mask and skedaddle”
“No regrets and the time is right”🎵
He laughs in both a humoured and mocking way “dearie no, follow my guidance, would you kindly; some things need to be brought satisfaction!” his eyes curl upwards which is definitely not a human expression.
“Um ew” rolling his eyes he steamrolls right over your comment as he walks to stand right in front of you. Bending down he strokes you lightly on the chin “all I need from you, sweetheart, is a little present” straightening up and twirling the hand that isn’t atop his cane “a sacrificial lamb if you will”.
“But with this Lexx jail”🎵
“You mean like herbs or a full-on person to murder?!” You state raising your eyebrow and crossing your arms playfully, unsure if he’s serious or if this is just some sort of weird “are you worthy” test.
“you might get help from this devil of tale”🎵
“Death and destruction! But of course!” He exclaims cheerily, lofting his arms and shoulders up in what would be an exaggerated shrug if it wasn’t for his stiff back and cheery demeanour. “It is the brokenness that exists in every demented thought. -“
“Saw the fun, an opportunity, and along this creature bring”🎵
“Singing twisted melodies throughout all the lands.”
“With my fangs, incisors I can do anything”🎵
“Showing the images of the sick and disturbed”
“Am I your friend? Perhaps, perhaps not”🎵
“How could It require anything’s else to be freed” he finishes with his face only inches from yours.
“Mischief, mischief or chaos, chaos”🎵
Jarringly he pulls back while saying “just someone who’s a true sinner, truly vile, wretched! a traitor!” with a curt nod he adds “yes, that would certainly do splendidly”. Staring at him you wonder would someone with shitty teeth do it? who would fit such a bill? Who woul- you are stuck by a cursed memory. One so vile that thinking of it in a positive manner would certainly be cause for genuine concern, hell it might make your teeth fall out. Looking to this strange pink skinned red-suited man, you reply with a wide toothy grin of your own “oh I know just the sinner”
“Now you know the just of it”🎵
His returning grin is so wickedly large you fear his face may become lost in it. Though honestly, that would be an improvement. “Puuuuuurfect” again in that sickly sweet voice. “Simply get him here, preferably with the utmost haste”
“found the perfect fit.”🎵
Shooing you with both his hands, cane under his left armpit, does he even need that thing? “Now hurry along sweetheart, can’t have you dilly-dallying!” you turn to face him but instead find yourself smack dab in front of a door. “Where the-“ you get cut off as something pushes you right through the door. That felt suspiciously like a cane handle. Facing the now closed door one doorman simply smiles and cranks his head to and fro.
“Finished training”🎵
Upon returning to the door with a man in tow, which only happened because he knew about the Lexxpocalypse and like almost everything else the phandom did, he hated it. The door is still weird but this time you expect the creepy ass doorman, Atlas. Chuckling you say “go on open the door, opening a door is a pretty easy solution for this whole mess” I hope he scares you so bad you never talk again, you idiotic bastard. You don’t even deserve your own teeth. The man oddly just does it, muttering all the while “no one mocks my show with some stupid headcanons and this meme shit” As soon as the door opens he is yanked inside but as you rush to follow him in you find neither him nor Atlas. “Well, this is just toothtastic” you chuckle dryly.
“done explaining”🎵
Chuckling atop a hill with the limp body of one Bitch Fuckman this smiling doorman says with a grin “this time the sweet little thing can find her way to me, let her experience this places plentiful charms” Atlas simply walks off to where he had been when you had left this place.
Stumbling along you realize it’s a lot harder to not notice the song when you’re alone “that man though strange, is a stellar distraction”.
“Nothing will be left remaining”🎵
It’s a lot harder to ignore the constant snapping of teeth,
“A cold and maddening decent”🎵
The occasional thunk of a tooth-leaf piercing the ground
“Nothing thing can prevent”🎵
And the song which you’re starting to think is a warning, plus this place is smelling quite strongly. Eventually, you find yourself giggling “Christ what is wrong with this place? It’s like an acid trip at a really obsessive dentists office” Quickly you school your thoughts, remembering Atlas’s earlier warning and deciding that it was definitely right; giggling isn’t something you normally do. No matter how many pretty teeth there are here, I do have some ability to feel shame after all.
Finally, you spot the man of the hour, the doorman, Atlas. “Uh, are you carrying a limp or dead Bitch? Not that I’m complaining though” You ask as you approach cautiously.“Oh worry not dear, he’s simply sleeping!”
“Well, that’s a nice way of saying you whacked him” you mutter through crosses arms. “Oh come now, I’d hardly call giving him a gentle push “whacking”” with a shrug he adds “even if that push was down a few too many feet with a very sharp landing!” chuckles escaping his wide grin. With every step Bitch’s legs bounce limply and at some point, he lost a shoe. But remembering Livin’ Large you’re pretty sure you aren’t expected to care. Though you still elect to give Atlas a wider birth for the rest of this “trip” you don’t want it to turn into an actual trip.....down some toothy rocks. Though death by teeth sounds like a right good way to go.
Eventually, you stumble across a dilapidated throne of contorted teeth, occasionally blurring and glitching.“Well that seems grandiose and excessive, but it is mawvellous” you shake your head though Atlas simply eyes you with his ever-present smile. “On top the tipsy tower sits the tyrant, deliver It a devilsknife, see It smilin’.” Is all the commentary he supplies.“The only smiler I’ve seen here is you Mr. Doorman”
“When this game is over, my waiting stopped”🎵
Then you notice the figure sitting stiff on the throne, it’s Lexx mask standing out starkly. You also notice that this Lexx’s mask does have one hell of a weird ass smile. “Seriously? The psychotic murder Yugio face?” You’re not sure whether to be judging or amused, at least they went with a nice set of chompers. INSERT FACE
Shrugging Atlas merely says “it seemed most fitting my dear” Shaking your head, you take the Knife of Revelations out from your bag.
“All hope of ending me will be dropped”🎵
“I still don’t get why the sacrifice is needed” jabbing a thumb in the general direction of Bitch’s body, which has been unceremoniously left on the ground in a heap.“since this knife business should be all that’s needed” you fail to catch the wide and malicious smile Atlas gives.
“Did you enjoy this game we played with your heart”🎵
Stepping up you plunge the knife through the heart of worming teeth, causing the facade to fade. As it does so, revealing the creature beneath and you understand why things were this way.
“But with this, the Lexx game falls apart”🎵
“Sweet fanged Christ” stumbling back, if there was a door to slam you would because this glitchy antlered thing almost hurt to look at. Turning to Atlas you say. “Uh buddy? -“
“Evil One?” 🎵
“- Where the ever loving fuck is the main blog, I don’t know of any blog tied to this” You gesture wildly at the stretching glowing thing that’s now lounging like a cat across Its throne, four green eyes slitted in contentment “thing”
“Risen one?”🎵
“Oh honey, this Lexx thing was all for It,-“
“No I just want to have fun.”🎵
“- to bring It out-“
“But this new world of old can’t be tamed” 🎵
“The main blog has little involvement here”“That doesn’t make a tooth lickin’ inch of sense ya freaky man” you groan slightly high pitched. “What or who even is that, a ghostsona I assume but -“Chuckling he cuts you off “a ghostsona indeed little dearie, as for the who well..”
“Now time to be truly named”🎵
Chuckling atop Its throne It walks down the glitching steps, glitching Itself in time with it; it’s clawed feet reverberating clicking sounds across the ground and all its joints making a strange static sound at every movement.
“I’m an apex predator, TheSilver Born” spoken through a mouth full of sharp teeth and thick fangs. Grinning, Atlas knows well enough to step back. You, however, know no such thing.
“I, this thing, am Alistar” It says it’s mouth unhinging twice with a voice best described as honey that’s been poisoned. “and I well, I was outcasted, sealed, only cause this thing” gesturing with one hand outlandishly to Itself, clawed fingers brushing up against its opened sleeveless black trench coat “couldn’t be brought to zero” It steps closer to you standing straight with an outreaching hand only a foot away from touching you. It’s white mist like hair waving in the air, easily twice it’s body length. At this point, you realize you don’t actually have the ability to back off.
“Now here you stand, a proud little hero” came Its mocking sneer, sliding it’s horrifyingly long pointed black tongue out only to crack it like a whip in the air. Well this is some fangbangin’ bullshit, standing your ground “generally things that are sealed up are for a reason”
Chuckling and cracking Its tongue again, It responds “Oh I promise I am innocent of any Wicked crime”. With that Atlas steps up behind you, lightly kicking the unconscious Bitch Fuckman as he does, and begins stroking your hair. Dude, bro, buddy, pal, you are getting freakier and freakier by the second. I’m all for mawvellously creepy but not this kind of creepy. You elect not to say that out loud though.
“Others feared what it could do! This creature! By terrified eyes locked away.” He suddenly lifts a pointer finger up in front of your face. “So cleverly, I waited till Its name became long forgotten.” Chuckling he continues while you eye him with mild horror “Waited till the knowledge of Its murderous wake all dried up”. Listening all the while Alistar grins, Its long pointed ears twitching, at the mention of Its past actions; which definitely were wicked. “Till no one suspected It had ever been”
Ok. Ya. You’re the evil, or at least malicious, kind of creepy. Not my style. Opting to attempt for more information you ask him “what do you mean? That doesn’t make a-“
Cutting you off he supplies “Alistar’s been gracing these lands for a long time dearie. I felt that this “Lexxpocalyspe” was fit for ripping down Its bars” laughing lightly he continued “So the world bear witness to Its personal brand of fun!”
Chuckling Alistar adds “Now See My chaos collapse this fragile house of cards” It spreads it’s arms wide head back with its unihorn aglow, gesturing wildly as the environments teeth crack and pop, exploding and leaking, dripping shiny black.
“Free to create fountains of dark”🎵
“Reawakening this twisted heart”🎵
Laughing It spins and hugs itself. Tipping Its body over to Bitch Fuckman It cups his face in Its long clawed hands but turns Its head to face you.
“Remember you signed on to this toothy game”
“So if someone winds up dead well then I’m not the one to blame” It borderline purrs showing a wide toothy grin. As the environments teeth all burst to black you notice that thick tendrils of black ink cling to, no bind, this creature and you come to understand. “The teeth looked way better decorations wise” sighing there’s no way this is good “the sacrifice had nothing to do with the Lexx virus, did it?.”
“By the time that you’ve played your part”🎵
“That my dear -“
“A blackness will awaken with this heart” 🎵
“ - is obvious” Grinning wide showing every pointed tooth Atlas traces his middle finger up the middle of your throat drawing your chin to tilt back. Once again this is the wrong kind of creepy, dude. Still smiling he looks down at you “Oh yes my sweet this is not any sort of end, but rather a great new beginning!”.
Alistar smiles, body glitching between white and black wildly “a little horror-story just begun and our shows so far from over”. Chuckling Atlas wraps his long limbs around you from behind and rests his head atop of yours, just as Bitch Fuckman wakes. Well bite me and call me completely screwed. Is all the commentary your brain supplies.
Alistar kneeling over Bitch, legs at odd angles showing off Its second backwards knees, the sight rips from him a blood-curdling scream. “Oh come now, don’t make a fuss!” Atlas laughs “We’re only playing” Alistar practically sneers into Bitch’s face. “Playing is fun! This is hardly what I’d call fun! What the hell are you! Where the hell is this!” Bitch rapidly speaks. Words cascading out like a terrified waterfall.“Oh, when you’re with us the party never ends!” Atlas says as he hooks Bitch’s ankle with his cane, yanking it so to complete dislocate the leg. Bitch dissolved into pathetic crying and screaming. “Y-you’re insane! T-this i-is insane!”
“I’m pretty sure they both lost it long ago” you mutter. “Oh don't be a downer sweet cheeks! Let It enjoy Its new plaything!” He gives your chin a somewhat painful pressured stroke.
Then Alistar, bellowing loud “I, in the name of chaos” Flings him across the floor with one hand as It stands. Unfortunately for him, Atlas’s grip on his cane is formidable causing the previously dislocated leg to be ripped clean off. “To you, the creator who betrayed us, even flaunted it on tape.”
Thousands of miniature screens spin around glitching and play varying clips from Phantom Planet. You can’t help the mental knee jerk reaction of fuck Phantom Planet, it’s not canon. All the while Bitch lays crumpled with blood leaking from his stump leg.
“We’ve written your fate and it can not be erased” Alistar and Atlas say together.
Atlas - “Shamed”
Alistar - “Disgraced”
Atlas - “Scathed”
Alistar - “Defaced “
“I’ll never write another damn cartoon again, I quit!” Bitch Fuckman screams but it’s no use. You’re reminded of that face, one of unsatisfied vengeance, Atlas wore earlier. He knew exactly who I’d pick when he asked for a sacrifice. You realize, feeling played but also impressed. He’s a mawvellous bastard even if he’s definitely not good or nice. Though I guess I’m not one to talk on that.
“Kicking, screaming, sinking slowly”🎵
Alistar, grabbing his face, places both Its legs atop his belly.
“Give your soul, it’s what you owe me”🎵
“Why are you doing this!” He bellows “those were the best episodes!” It doesn’t dignify him with a genuine answer instead only supplying “No rhyme or reason just a smile that’s only growing wider!” As Atlas laugh heartedly. Clearly, he’s enjoying the show.
Alistar’s fangs sink into Bitch’s throat, causing strange energy to flow out of his form into It causing the black tendril chaining It to spasm and slide off pooling into an inky mess. Jeez, at least I’m joking when I threaten to eat people. Standing up every movement flicks black ink off Its form, rubbing Its face it smiles and comes over to run claws through your hair, leaving behind some of the inky mess.
Cringing you manage to get out “so, uh, could I fucking go now.” Squirming quite aggressively against Atlas’s grip, but to no avail “You got to show your fangy crap to an unwitting prisoner so...” Right at the end of those words someone with skin pale white, eyes of the brightest blue and lips darkest night, steps up behind the creature named Alistar, it’s thetribalmoth.
With a soft, though unkind smile she says “apologies young thing but that can’t happen” she’s the main you realize, as she strokes Alistar lightly across the chin and up the jaw with the back of her pointer finger. Oddly she gets none of the black mess on her. “You’re not really here, are you” you glare as you notice that she also happens to be a bit translucent. “Of course not, but I had to make some sort of appearance” smiling “I couldn’t just let my creations play without making my presence known” Glaring you retort “I’m not something of your “creation”” you would air quote if you could move. Laughing Atlas produces a pocket mirror and clicks it open right in front of you.
“For maybe there is hope you’ll see”🎵
Looking back at you is the face of Lexoendus. “WHAT. THE. FUCK”
“Your shackles don’t need any broken keys”🎵
Laughing thetribalmoth says “Oh please what did you expect, nothing I didn’t create could ever find this place alone”
“With you I was finally set free” 🎵
Atlas indulges you “you were needed, something to allow Alistar access to the outside. A Lexx was quite a perfect scheme.”
“I’ve been given this perfect opportunity”🎵
“So I brought the virus here”
“Take it with pride“🎵
“And I weaved your fabric” finished thetribalmoth.
“And enjoy the ride“ 🎵
“And how fortunate that you fit just right.” Alistar adds. “You fanged fucks knew this whole show would have to come to an end” swallowing harshly, baring as much of your teeth as Atlas’s grip would allow “that there would be a cure to purge the virus in time” you finish. The only answer you got was a grin from Alistar.
“I’ll forever be a part of this community”🎵
“You took on a bit of a life of your own dearie,” Atlas says, sickly sweet. “But I didn’t stab my own heart you toothytits. I stabbed the one in that thing!” You struggle slightly more in your confusion. “Ahh, sooo many teeth puns” thetribalmoth sighs happily as she sits resting her head on a hand. “It’s nice to have something in common, I’m glad we can relate” you glare at her, which she seems to take pleasure in.
Walking up Alistar takes the Knife of Revelations from you, chuckling “Twas but an illusion of a tricksters game” The doorman’s smile is verging on giddy at the complement to his handy work as Alistar then leans in pushing the knife into your chest. “Can you feel it? join me in the darkness, join me and I can finish what you started” It purrs. Well, this bites. There’s not anything you can really do with Atlas wrapped around you from behind, he’s stronger than he looks, and Alistar is pushed right up against your chest.
You sputter through the black seeping over you and dribbling out your mouth. Jerking and glaring upwards you speak refusing to sound weak “Why would you? It seems like your goal is just to damn the world, but why?” Continuing on “why all this?”
“Honey, sweet thing, I’d say that doesn’t really matter. ‘Tis simply what I do.” While thetribalmoth mutters “Amusing is it not, how far he’ll go to keep this world from being left alone”
“So you create just to destroy? How many others have you ended to get what you want!” You accuse, completely ignoring thetribalmoth. Who honestly, seems pretty used to just yelling into a toothy void with no one paying attention. “Dearie, to win some you lose a few hundred” grinning “it wasn’t that bad anyway” twirling his cane free hand as you collapse to the ground, inside your toothy heart squirming wildly, body flickering, and slowly being merged into Alistar. Atlas, chuckling “at least you were good for something! It’s vision through your eyes has given It new life!”
“That’s real comforting” you wheeze out.
Then Alistar’s face, which was previously only inches from yours, whips over to face Bitch’s corpse as It slinks over. Long black veining connecting the two of you. Giving Bitch’s corpse a pat down “does this thing have any liquor?”
“I’ve just been functionally used as an entertainment teeth puppet to free a literal devil” you glare as harshly as one can while dying “Could you at least try to be serious” though I guess if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t be taking shit seriously either. “Oh don’t get your dolly eyes in twist sweetheart” Atlas says with a playful eye roll, as he bends down above you.
“Was that you trying to be sexist or Lexxist?”
“Whatever pisses you off more” he adds “besides it’s not like you were built to last” he dismisses you with a single twirl of his cane as he turns to face the erratic scene Alistar is making. His face is one of pure affection mixed with giddiness. That kind of affection screams adoration at that realization you continue your train of thought huh, he must serve her somehow. No wonder he’s here. “Is there seriously no liquor on him?” Groaning as It flops down and lounges outstretched across the corpse, smearing Itself with blood in the process.
“how does this fucker live with himself without a constant stream of knock-off mini bottles?” Is the last thing you hear before the static consumes you, as thetribalmoth erases your name. Your last thought is simply well at least I died absurdly and toothtastically.
Atlas sits down, legs crossed with his cane across both hips. As Alistar, standing with Its chest against his back, lounges It’s arms over his shoulders rubbing a cheek against the left side of his head.
Singing softly,
“These toothy parts freed my encaged heart”🎵
“Bringing lexoendus to an end, ripped apart”🎵
“This, their last show to put on”🎵
“But after tonight they’re gone”🎵
“I’ve made them disappear”🎵
“Now I’m the monster here”🎵
“A ghost reborn from their ashes” 🎵
Hundreds of voices cry, they thought you’d free them from this trial but you have only brought their pyre
