#thetwistedwillow

[thetwistedwillow]

(Thank you my sweet @coinofstone for reminding me of this.)

[mittensmorgul]

thetwistedwillow replied to your post: Sam’s completely ineffective speech to the people...

I agree. And I wanted to add that I think some of his weakness and appearing overwhelmed was due to him being in pain but trying to hide it. ❤️

OH GOSH YES THAT TOO! That wound is causing him a lot more pain (physically and emotionally) than he's let on yet. And I still think that's what Cas was trying to warn Dean about at the end of 15.01 when Dean cut him off. Sam is hurting, and he thinks he's just tired right now, and Cas is even worried for him... so yeah, I definitely think this is a factor to consider in everything about Sam right now.

[deancaspinefest]

Ships in the Night

fic by thetwistedwillow  |  art by pbj*fish

Castiel Novak was sheltered growing up and is used to doing what everyone else wants, from taking suppressants, to working a job that he despises. But everything changes the moment that he follows the most tantalizing scent he’s ever smelled, and he collides with the source, literally. Their impact causes the Omega to drop the engagement ring box he’s holding, kneeling down to retrieve it on bended knee, to Castiel’s horror. Confused, Castiel runs away from the Omega after jumping to conclusions. 

Dean Winchester, a bakery owner, has always wanted a family and a home, but every Alpha he’s ever scented has been a major turn-off. Until his Alpha runs right into him while he’s picking up something for Sam’s fiancee. Despite having waited for his mate for his entire life, Dean panics when he begins to believe that Cas is too good to be true. How will things change when Dean also learns that the Alpha may not be able to give him the family he’s always wanted? 

Life keeps trying to throw them together but, like two ships in the night, they evade each other until they’re both so miserable they have no choice but to communicate and try to decide if their bond is something worth deepening. 

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

Today the air feels much cooler on Cas' flushing skin than the previous day, especially when that exquisite scent assaults him yet again. It seems to be much stronger and wafting from a side street, where the wind gently rolls between two buildings, a calmer air that gives his feet a clearer direction to take than yesterday.

He barely registers what he is doing, his instincts and his nose guiding the way. The stronger it gets, the more he looks around frantically, so he isn’t looking where he is going when he collides with a very solid body.

There is so much going on, all at once, for Cas to process. Most overwhelming is that he is completely wrapped up in spiced apples and whiskey. Dazedly, he looks down at the man who has dropped to one of his knees to pick up a small black-velvet box that he must have dropped upon their impact with one another. 

“Oh my gosh, is he proposing?” Cas vaguely hears one person say before a hush settles, passerbys slowing and then stopping to see what the commotion is about.

The ring box has popped open and the man is frowning at its contents. Cas registers a flash of a camera somewhere in front of him, people are murmuring, and then narrowed green eyes lift up...

Cas comes crashing back down to his senses when he realizes that the most wonderful scent that he’s ever known is coming from a person. It wasn’t a shop, or a bar, or some thing he was scenting. The man is the source. The man who is still squinting up at Cas as he snaps the ring box closed and rises to his feet unsteadily. 

[Continue reading on March 14]

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

thetwistedwillow replied to your photo “whyjm: destielmaniac: thetwistedwillow: A Theory About Where...”

@postmodernmulticoloredcloak definitely. Which is why I said it’s probably crack lmao. Not holding my breath over any of this but I REALLY do hope Marco is playing AUCas at least. Some say he may not be seen again or may be someone else.

yeah yeah I get it ^-^ I am pretty convinced the commander is someone... relevant at least, he got too much focus to be coincidental and his lack of a name is suspicious in a show that names every random angel and demon with a minor speaking role (even the exorcism demon was called Anthony... the namelessness of the commander is sort of lampshaded), the camera work also gave him importance, and his survival doesn’t really make sense unless he has a part to play later, otherwise it has no narrative point. Especially since his last shot was ~intense :D

[tinkdw]

I was just pondering the whole "jilted lover" bit of 9X06 and I've seen a few passing comments of people suggesting that Nora believed that Dean was Cas' ex. I'd love to see something deeper and more comprehensive about HOW she came off that way. Other than them obviously having a connection, I thought maybe some people saw or heard things from Nora's perspective specifically that I overlooked.

Well it was my perception and if you rewatch it with that in mind I think it makes far more sense than anything else really.

She sees that he is a wandering, kind of lost person with a heart of gold, with no family or friends and apparently running away from something or someone. 

She acts like, I’m sorry, but a stereotypical woman who perceives that a guy is queer. She sees him as a non-threat, she kisses him excitedly but chastly on the lips and trusts him to look after her baby... I mean, it is quite stereotypical...

She gives this look (which is so similar to Mary in 12x01 by the way, when she is also appraising Dean/Cas for the first time), when she sees Steve talking to Dean:

then, Nora: “Hate to interrupt you guys...”

She seems to me to be putting two and two together that this is the seemingly arrogant guy who dumped Steve and led him to be here, that he is Steve’s ex.

She then seems not surprised at all that Dean is there at her house when she left Steve to babysit?! That Steve called Dean when he had a worrisome moment over the baby?

Yeah, that’s how I read it...

[thetwistedwillow]

HELLO SYMBOLISM: Dean clutching at his physical heart as Billie crushed it, only to have his emotional heart crushed by Cas’ love confession and sacrifice moments later...

In an episode where Charlie first lost her love, then Sam lost his love... and now Dean lost his...

Love.

[thetwistedwillow]

Cas’ Love Letter to Dean

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him. The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be. What my true happiness could even look like. And I never found an answer because the one thing I want is something I know I can’t have.

“But I think I know. I think I know now.

“Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

“I know—I know how you see yourself Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument.

“And you think that hate and anger that’s—that’s what drives you, that’s what you are, but it’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it and everything you have ever done, good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on Earth, you’re the most selfless loving human being I will ever know.

“You know ever since we met ever since I pulled you outta hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared.

“I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack. But I cared about the whole world because of you.

“You changed me, Dean.

“I love you.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

[thetwistedwillow]

This:

Is the same energy as this:

Are we really so sure Dean wasn’t going to say ILY back?

At first, when Cas began speaking, Dean was confused. They had Death knocking on the door and Cas decided that now was a great time to bring up yet another deal and something about happiness and then... oh wait. Cas is spilling his heart and saying nice things, nice things about Dean that Dean never thinks of himself. It was too much, so much all at once.

What else could Dean do except listen? Even if he wasn’t saying much—so overwhelmed by being whammied by a torrent of unconditional love during one of the lowest points of his life—Dean’s emotions were all over his face. (Jensen and micro-expressions, amiright?!)

The more Cas spoke, though, the more the clear the picture became. Dean had changed Cas, showed him how to care. Showed him how to love in a myriad of ways: as a friend to other humans, as a brother Sam, as a father to Jack, and as something more to Dean...

“I love you.”

But Dean didn’t say it back because he realized exactly what love and happiness and the Empty and the deal all had to do with one another and he’s the common denominator.

If the key to unleashing the Empty on Cas is for Cas to be happy, and if Cas loves him and doesn’t think he can have that, why would Dean say it back? Why would Dean take that risk now, after all of this time? Yes, Death is at the door but they never give up and they could still try to fight long enough to live another day and save the world.

“Cas, don’t do this...”

The rift opened, regardless of what was or wasn’t said back. The Empty was here. Cas was happy enough, at peace enough, just to love Dean even if he didn’t think he was loved in return.

Cas was getting taken away from him anyway, like it or not. Dean knew then that this was his last chance, his only chance, to say it...

“Cas—”

Cas took a step forward, a tender hand to Dean’s shoulder, a goodbye. A mark left behind in blood, a sacrifice and a covenant.

There was no more time. It was all happening too fast, too fast for the words to work their way past Dean’s throat. He was shoved out of harm’s way and sat up in shock just in time to watch Cas get engulfed into blackness.

And then Cas was gone.

🥺

I can’t believe they pulled a frigging Tenrose, complete with a separation that crossed dimensions, in order for the supernatural being/alien to save their human. Actually, I can believe it. And they did. And it hurts so good in such a beautifully heartbreaking way.

PS this isn’t the end. The DeanCas separation is a classic trope and there is still a story to wrap up here. I don’t think they’ll end up exactly like Tenrose, fwiw, but the parallels here are very similar.