Dirty Commie Heathen (The Unknown)
Brewery : The Unknown Beer : Dirty Commie Heathen Style : Russian Imperial Stout / Imperial Stout Variance : Brewed with Bourbon Aged Oak Added and Red Cherries
9 / 10
Ok, so I’m feeling nice tonight so I’m going to give you a heads up : This review will talk about how amazing this beer is, Stalin, Trump, and probably some other random shit so if you don’t want to hear it, stop reading after this next sentence. I absolutely love this beer and I’m really hoping this 12.4% powerhouse allows me to get through it sober enough because I definitely feel the need to persuade you to drink this. Ok, now if you’re still reading thanks for joining me on this journey so buckle up and let’s get down to it.
The Unknown basically looks like a pussy compared to Stalin because this beer only slayed the 10,000 taste buds I have in my mouth but Stalin ended up with a body count somewhere around 20 million. Oh, and did I mention your taste buds replace themselves every 2 weeks or so? Yeah, didn’t think you’d learn something did you? Anyways, Stalin was a piece of shit and The Unknown definitely nailed the description of him with the name of this beer because he’s not even the worst dictator ever so rot in hell fuckface. Come see me when you reach Mao Zedong level evil! Ok, now on to Trump. Besides the fact that every Russian I’ve ever met seems like they are miserable and pissed at the world every second of the day, they are also sort of responsible for president Macaroni and Cheese Von Twitterwig. I mean, basically everyone on his staff has talked to Sergey Kislyak at some point and then denied it including Jeff Sessions, Michael Flynn, Jared Kushner, J.D. Gordon, and Carter Page and that’s on top of the fact that those filthy commie heathens only hacked the DNC emails to make Hillary look like dog shit and that’s on top of the fact that Russia has a video of Trump getting pissed on by hookers. Ok, I think I’ve made my point so back to the beer.
An absolutely amazing chocolate covered cherry flavor starts things off with a mix of sweet, bitter, and mild tartness before some vanilla and oak mix in with some dark chocolate and smoke before ending with another explosion of cherry flavor and milk chocolate with no sign of the 12.4% ABV anywhere which is basically fucking magic. That’s right, The Unknown shall now be know as The Unknown The Grey (Lord of the Rings anyone?) because any beer this incredible and powerful could only be the work of a wizard. Ok, this review is way too long but thanks for hanging in there with me and make sure you pick this up regardless of your political affiliation, thoughts on Russia, or drinking experience level because this is fucking delicious and deserves to be tasted by all. Na Zdorovie!
Written by: Steve B.
