The Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite, as recorded in Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett.
"Is it not written in the sacred text, 'There's a lot goes on that we don't know about, in my opinion'?" said Lu-Tze.
"For it is written: 'I can't be having with that kind of a thing.'"
"For is it not written, 'It does you good to get out in the fresh air'?"
"For it is written, 'There is no time like the present,' which is Mrs. Cosmopilite's most profound understanding."
"For it is written, 'You can't tell a book by its cover.'"
"It is written, 'You've got to learn to walk before you can run,'" said Lu-Tze, putting his broom over his shoulder.
"It is written, 'Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs!'" he said.
"Truly it is written, 'You could knock me down with a feather,'" he muttered, as they headed up the sloping passage.
"It is written, 'I've got a feeling in my water,'" said Lu-Tze.
"Hah! It is written, 'I'm not as green as I'm cabbage-looking'!" snapped Lu-Tze.
"For it is written, 'Wrap up warm or you'll catch your death.'"
"Is it not written, 'Every second counts'?"
"Oh, well, in that case," said Lu-Tze, "is it not written, 'If you want a thing done properly you've got to do it yourself'?"
"However, is it not written, 'When you have got to go, you have got to go'?" said Lu-Tze.
"And also that 'You should always wear clean underwear because you never know if you will be knocked down by a cart'?"
"But is it not written, 'If you have another one, you won't have an appetite for dinner'?"
"For is it not written, 'You never know what's going to turn up'?"
