Ich suche mich selbst in nem Raum voller Schmerz.

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Ich suche mich selbst in nem Raum voller Schmerz.
I hope I'm not a bother, that's what scares me most that one day you'll get bored of me.
I wanted to write something awsome tonight but not really feeling anything to write. Just down in the dumps, nothing but my dark thoughts to keep me company.
The sound of the rain makes me happy but in the end that leaves too
Non so voi ma per me le prime ore dell’alba sono incredibili.
La mia testa comincia a fluttuare tra pensieri e parole nelle quali mi perdo con gli occhi ancora chiusi, desiderando che qualcuno possa prendere appunti o scattare delle foto a ricordi lontani.
Mi sento leggera, sospesa nel vuoto del silenzio più totale.
I say a lot that i don’t care what you say or think about me but actually I do care what you say and think about me.
Mind's racing.
The parenting thing, even the second time round you often find yourself: 1. Hiding behind a blanket to check if the baby is asleep and so he can’t make eye contact with you in case he isn’t 2. Have strong thighs from squatting baby to sleep 3. Camping out in the lounge with your husband at 10pm although you’re both dead tired but neither of you want to risk walking into your baby who isn’t in their deep sleep cycle 3. Watching The Letdown on Netflix and wonders why you’re watching it cos it’s almost like watching your own life being played 4. Tingle with excitement when you have a sneaky sip of alcohol 5. Feel pins and needles in your arm or leg when a baby falls asleep in an awkward position and you didn’t want to risk waking them 6. Feel the guilt of not giving the first one as much attention as before 7. Feel the guilt of not giving the second one enough attention because they’re the second one... #parenting #lifeisinteresting #thinkingtomuch #ishouldsleep #enjoylife #livelife #newborn #blackandwhite #whatyoucalllove