#third parent

[doeindahdeck]

Tomithy Taffington the Third

[eldestchild1456]

Anyone else stay in their car for an extra 5 minutes because they know life resumes as soon as they step into the house ? Because same

[porcelana-r0ta]

[oriandcate]

you say “eldest sibling”, i say “unpaid intern”.

[spunkyfruits]

i am the burnt-out former gifted anxiety ridden abused eldest daughter. i exist to be hated.

[fieriframes]

[History is the third parent.]

[magicalmoonstrawberry]

I can't talk right now, I'm doing eldest daughter shit.

*raising my brother while simultaneously not getting involved too much or else I'm going to get yelled at*

*calling my dad out on his shit*

*being a third parent*

*teaching my brother and cousin English because no one else in my family can and I apparently sound like I'm British even though I'm literally not*

*constantly burned out*

*being my mum's therapist*

*being my friend's therapist*

*being an exact replica of my dad*

*giving more affection to my brother than anyone else because I don't want him to end up like me*

*being unable to express verbal affection*

*found family is one of my favourite tropes*

*wanting to move out for college but being too scared to leave my brother alone*

[darkerthoughts1585]

As a child I was told I was mature and applauded for my reading level and how responsible I was. Always trying to be the perfect child, reading people's faces to change what I am to make them happy. I thought that I had to make them happy or I would break. I guess I was the golden child on my siblings eyes. They always thought that I had the perfect grades, that I never messed up or made mistakes, that I was a favorite. But that's because that's what I projected. I cannot remember a time where I was myself, a time where I could make mistakes and cry. Because I saw what happened to others when they did, so I learned how to not cause trouble. Not be the sad one or loud one. My eldest brother was always sensitive, always emotional. I saw my family talk about him, my parents gave him more attention while my other oldest brother and I stood back and watched because we were the steady ones. I saw how my mom hurt for my brother and vice versa. So I learned to cry quietly, how to hide my tears and not shout in pain. Being the only girl for a long time no one would play with me or pay attention beyond what caring or happiness I could give them. So I read. I escaped into words. If I stayed busy and focused on other things than I wouldn't have to deal with things. I never got to have a childhood, or make mistakes and memories as I was always too terrified of my parents disappointment and being talked about in hushed voices. Of falling off my pedestal. By time I was 6 I had a younger brother who I babied, setting a precedent that I wish I hadn't. At 12 my parents were fighting, and I had a new sisters. Finally. I raised her. My parents were too busy with bills and money and emotions so I tried. I used to have to babysit every day. I couldn't go out and hang with friends, I became known for being flaky and busy. I lost friends. I became my mother's therapist. I became my father's as well. I lost myself somewhere between then. I guess this whole ramble is about how frustrating it is that my brothers think that I am the golden child. When I was always jealous about their freedom. Now at 21 and still at home I feel empty. I used to care so much and do a lot. Now I barely have enough energy to care about anything and go with the flow. Nothing sticks or is permanent.