to be honest, I would like to care less, just to ensure my "survival", given the peculiar general culture of ignoring and some cruelty that we are brought up with from childhood and normalized in adulthood. as it was said in one verse of the russian poet: "ты отпусти меня, глупое сердце!"
how are you? are you okay? do you want to share what happened these days?
thanks you for your congratulations…
today I wrote the olympiad in german and english (which was a big WHAT THE HECK) and now I feel, to put it mildly, terrible.
I don't want to be involved in all this shit anymore, given my unstable… psyche or whatever it is, which is why anxiety attacks me and I can't come to my senses for a long time.
I'm sorry you're hearing this and.. sorry
uhhhhhhhhhhh92304092092jfkljlkdjlkjfgljdlgkjdljgldkj,n,mcxnv,nx,cxmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just don't know who else to share this with. I have people I can tell this to, but I rarely feel like I'm feeling better. even with their involvement in what I'm saying. I wish things were simpler.
the relationship with myself were simpler. my attitude to this life were simpler.
I will answer only some points. I just don't want to bore you with an endless string of repetitive words or something
:)
hmmm.
the only thing I remember from the movie "the visit" is the expression on the boy's face in the end.
to be honest, I would like to see a collection of clippings from movies /TV series /animated series, where the characters have some kind of….
tragic, unusual facial expression. it touches something in me every time.
for example, the expression of this boy at the end of the movie.
the expression on the face of a woman named Lilly from the 1999 film "Aimee and the Jaguar", when she quarrels with her lover and he abandons her and they were standing on the stairs.
I'm still amazed by that expression on her face, her eyes. the look in her eyes, god.
I haven't seen this anywhere else.
The expression on Pearl's face from Steven Universe when Pearl realizes that Rose didn't trust her with all the secrets and runs away.
and here Steven finds her, hugs her and Pearl looked as if something in her was suffering deep irretrievable destruction, followed by imminent creation.
:(
sorry, now I want to cry, reading your words in which you call me sweet and speak well of me. thanks.
hm.
I like listeners too. there are few of them and I try to appreciate every listener in my life. sometimes they are very creep (for me), because you can tell them something and they remember it (!). it's so weird!!!!1.
like, why?! oh god, just never listen to me and don't be interested in me, so that I will be disappointed in you and stop communicating with you!!! it's not that hard, like, just do it🙄😤👺
and at the same time I think: wow. you make me feel so special and that makes me happy. please don't forget about me.😐🌾
I know it's weird and probably not very healthy bullshit. sorry.
contradictions and aimlessness.
YEAH. I'm waiting for this fanfiction.
and also, your new ff with Natasha Romanoff ;)
I won't call myself her fan, but she is certainly a strong female character, whom I respect
also, you write with such desire and diligence that it would be a crime not to say anything about it.
HMMMM.
now, considering your maneuvering answer, it became even more interesting to me. again, everything is fine, I am a patient person. take care of yourself, please! 🌻✨
haha..
you're too good at your game. I lose every move.
oh, great!
what song did you like? I would like to hear your opinion about each song individually.
Well, then, you know what they say:
"Снег за окном торжественный и гладкий,
пушистый, тихий.
Поужинав, на лестничной площадке
курили психи.
Стояли и на корточках сидели
без разговора.
Там, за окном, росли большие ели -
деревья бора.
План бегства из больницы при пожаре
и всё такое.
…Но мы уже летим в стеклянном шаре.
Прощай, земное!
Всем всё равно куда, а мне - подавно,
куда угодно.
Наследственность плюс родовая травма -
душа свободна.
Так плавно, так спокойно по орбите
плывет больница.
Любимые, вы только посмотрите
на наши лица!"
hmm, it sounds very interesting…
I liked this song, i feel… unusual vibes that I usually don't feel
maybe I think so, because this song is not really to my taste and I rarely come across this, soooo
thank you so much for offering it! it's really something!
2. Lord, this song almost made me cry
fortunately, my heart was not subjected to such torments as were described in the song and I thank the lord for this (if there is one) I liked this song so much. I usually listen to songs that make me think about something. I mean, I have 2 playlists. the first has songs that make me think, and the second playlist is purely for the feelings that these songs cause in me. this is a really sad, poignant and deep song.
I liked these lines:
"Mantuve la esperanza conociendo tu interior
Sintiendo tan ajeno tu calor
Probé de la manzana por amor"
and
"Dices que me amas, que no hay nadie como yo
Que soy la dueña de tu corazón
Pero alguien más está en tu habitación"
3. hm, I have a feeling that our songs are to some extent "on the same wavelength", given the themes of our first songs in the list and the next 2, which sing about other things that can make you cry or delve into not the most pleasant, but definitely necessary feelings.
and it seems to me that maybe we shared a piece of our life experience with each other through these songs.
thank you very much.
it's very intimate.
always!! i am sorry for my lack of speed at the moment i've just managed to get out of a low point in my mindset but i'm so happy to get to respond to your messages <3
may i ask are you russian? i'm just curious also love that if you were it's so cool! 🫶 i'm okay, unfortunately i suffer with bipolar 2 AKA BP2 which gives me long periods of low moods <:( luckily i'm okay now! how are you sweetie?
also, of course i'm so proud of you for that! and remember i understand that it can be really overwhelming and difficult please don't try and push yourself, remember to do things for you and what you want to do not for anyone else darling! 💌 also heyyy don't apologise remember my account is a safe space and you're welcome to share whatever you feel comfortable with, there's never any judgement here!
i understand that, i too feel that way on many occasions. sometimes our closest friends may not be the people that can help! you can always vent and get whatever you feel on here love. PS you could never bore me with anything sweetie!
i love the way you analyse characters, their expressions and the depth behind it. you feel deeply lovely and a rare treasure, so hold it close to you. i love when something rare in films that's unmatchable comes along and swipes us off our feet!
heyyy, no need to cry hun i simply speak the truth that is all <33 you are definitely sweet. yeah listeners are lovely people and fr, their memory is beyond me it's creepy but somehow touches me in many ways i suppose :') i am unfortunately good at maneuvering around things sweetie, don't worry i'm taking care of myself as i hope you are 💕
in regards to my opinions of the songs;
the dismemberment song- not usually something i'd find myself listening to but her VOICE is so captivating. it's giving me old school unique vibes and the little beat's. definitely brings music to my ears and does give me a little musical vibe, i did enjoy it! <3
runs in the family- okay this WAS SO SO GOOD. the fact it picks up pace and she doesn't really take many breathes shows how it intertwines with the title and lyrics as a whole as though she's panicking trying to get every little thought that dances through her mind out of it, it's truly well done and her voice is CHEFS KISS :)
крепость, дайте танк-it took me a while to get my head around it but the way his voice sounds and the lyrics as a whole. singing for himself and his thoughts overall i actually think this was my favourite joint with runs in the family, truly your music taste astounds me, it's AMAZING! <3
that was so beautiful, srsly brought tears to my eyes. tajsksjs sorry i'm processing that fr! <3 я всегда буду любить твои маленькие сообщения :))
the first song was definitely contradicting the last two, it's just something my music taste does as it is a little all over the place which i kinda love! <33 as for the second YES i loved that song with my whole being especially the lyrics you quoted fr, it was JUST <3 unfortunately for myself i have related to that song i have playlists for all songs i feel a vibe to you if you get me? 💌 we definitely are similar when it comes to connecting through music i adore it! music is just such an outlet for me, it's apart of me genuinely. <3 i hope you're staying healthy and hydratedd :')
