I keep thinking about your "Padme is a mommy domme" post and I'm coming by to collect on the rent it owes me for brain space. (AKA: if you have any more comedic takes on Anidala's sex life, I would love to hear them)
okay this is all going underneath the cut so as to avoid making people look at my admittedly Very Silly opinions unless they really, really want to
So intially I wrote out a response with my usual spiel about Anakin needing to get orders to feel safe but only feeling fine about taking orders if the person giving them is firmly in the role of Family (who will of course never exploit him etc etc) BUT then I realized you asked for comedic, so have some. well. I don't dare call them comedic, but they're sure something.
First off, Padmé really likes teacher-student roleplay. This is because she (a) has never been in a normal person school and does not realize that classrooms are actually gross and disgusting, and (b) likes being In A Position of Authority that doesn't actually put her in a position of actual authority (see: life or death).
Second, Padmé gets extremely into roleplay. She is rich. She has an extreme interest in sartorial affairs. She is a nightmare person made almost entirely of delusions and ideals. This results in her not only buying both of them outfits for Every Single Roleplay, but constructing elaborate sets in their sex room (not a dungeon, because I'm pretty sure dungeons can't have floor-to-ceiling one-way windows, designer couches, and wallpaper that costs what some people make in a year). It also means she has a specially dedicated journal for their roleplay characters, and spends extremely boring Senate debates doodling new costumes and/or thinking of backstories to make Anakin memorize.
Third—and this one really has no basis, even compared to the first two, which honestly I'm kind of proud of—Padmé dreams of watching Anakin getting fucked by a tentacle plant. or tentacle monster. just tentacles, really. she seems like she'd be into that. (tbf, she seems like she'd be into anything that puts Anakin entirely at her mercy and then makes him go out of his mind. but tentacles especially).
there's also a whole thing i could add about a private sex moon, but I think I have to maintain some dignity, so I'll decline to say more about that.
“ eat your heart out, captain; i’m just hear to watch the meet. ”
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