Remember When
Pairing: Steve x Reader
Warnings: Amnesia, angst, fluff.
Summary: After a car accident you forget everything that happened in the last 5 years, your friends, your job and particularly your husband.
This is for @thisismysecrethappyplace Share The Love Bingo Writing Challenge – Prompt: Amnesia
Ok so this one shot got away from me a bit, it’s a bit long but i hope you all like it
Any Gifs/Pictures and Songs I use are not mine
Steve’s heart was in his throat as he weaved in and out of traffic in his motorbike, the call from the hospital still ringing in his ears.
Y/N, car accident, hospital…..
Abandoning his bike at the entrance, he raced through the corridors trying to find you, eventually having to stop at a nurse’s station to ask.
“My, my, my wife, she’s been brought in, she was in an accident, I need to see her” he rambled.
The nurse gave Steve a soft comforting look, recognising him immediately. “Mr Rogers, take a breath, your wife is stable, she had a little internal bleeding but that has been successfully stopped, she has a bit of swelling on the brain which we are monitoring, the cuts and bruises look worse than they are, but we expect her to make a full recovery” She saw the tension in Steve’s shoulder release slightly. “Let me show you to her room”.
The nurse led Steve down the corridors to the private section, knowing you were married to Captain America, the hospital wanted to make sure you were safe while you were there. Steve’s heart hammering in his chest with every step towards the door at the end or the corridor, “I’ll be at the desk if you need anything, take your time” she spoke softly, resting a comforting hand on his arm.
Steve stepped into the room, machines all around you beeping and pulsing, cables connecting you to them via your arms, nose and pads on your chest. You lay there, not moving, eyes gently closed, you looked as though you could be sleeping.
He took the seat beside your bed, brushing hair from your face and taking your hand in between both of his, placing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Steve sat like this for days, three days to be exact, three days the doctors said you were sleeping, recuperating, healing. They were happy the swelling on your brain had reduced but they wouldn’t know for sure if there would be any memory loss. All they could do was wait for you to wake up.
Luckily, they didn’t have to wait long, only a week later with Steve and Bucky at your bedside Steve saw your eyelids flutter and softly open, blinking at the lights in the room.
“Hey beautiful!” cooed Steve, “There you are, you worried us all there” he stood up leaning over you to a kiss to your head.
You moved away from him as he went to kiss you, “What are you doing?” you asked making Steve pause his actions and frown, he moved back into his seat.
“What do you….. Y/N its me, Steve” he questioned, “I know, Captain Rogers and Sargent Barnes” you acknowledged them both by their titles and a nod of your head “But why are you here? What happened?” you looked at the tube in your arm, the bandages and bruises on your body.
Getting anxious and dizzy you started to get yourself worked up, wanting to pull at your cables and try to get out of bed, alarms started to ring and nurses rushed in to put you back into bed.
A Doctor asking for a word with Steve and Bucky outside your room, while the nurses calmed you down.
Closing the door, he turned to face Steve and Bucky, “There’s no easy way to say this but Y/N is suffering from some short-term memory loss, it’s called Retrograde Memory Loss, it’s caused by the swelling of the frontal lobe. We are going to run a few more tests but we need to start a program to work on her memories, she has no recollection of the accident or of anything that has happened in the last 5 years, usually the patient only forgets several weeks, so the damage may be more significant than we thought”
Steve’s heart dropped, you couldn’t remember any of your time together, your life, your marriage. “Will she get her memory back?” asked Steve,
“She might, but she will need some help with that” reassured the Doctor
“What can we do to help?” enquired Bucky, seeing Steve was lost in his thoughts.
“You can take her to places to help her remember, personal belongings like photos and letters, but try not to pressure her into being the same person she was before the accident, she is going to be very confused and very frustrated not being able to remember, she is going to need a lot of support”
“Of course, doctor, we’ll do everything we can, thank you” Finished Steve, both men shook the Doctors hand, re-entering your room as the Nurse left.
Steve took a deep breath as he entered your room, he wanted nothing more than to hold you and comfort you, tell you how much he loved you but that would scare you. He felt nervous and awkward, but wanted to be there for you.
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You were released from Hospital two days later; they were happy you were healing well and Tony had said you would have around the clock care at the Compound.
People around the Compound greeted you, saying how lovely it was to see you again, and hoped you would feel better soon, you just smiled and followed Steve through to the living quarters.
Steve was still living at your shared house nearby to the compound, he had brought some of your things from the house, wanting to make sure you were as comfortable as possible in the compound. Tony had set up a room for you near to Wanda and Nat, you had been friends with them since you started working at the Compound as the receptionist 8 years ago.
Walking through the Compound you remembered many nights spent there with the girls, games nights resulting in drunken confessions, films nights in the cinema room and of course the lavish parties thrown by Tony for any reason necessary.
Steve had set your room up for you, placed a few family photos, childhood stuffed toys and memories, just to help you feel settled, although he made sure not to include anything from your wedding and life together, he wanted to ease you into that.
“Thanks Captain” you smiled as Steve placed your bags on the freshly made bed.
“You don’t have to call me Captain, call me Steve, please” Steve smiled back at you, he got lost in the moment, he hadn’t seen your smile in what felt like forever, you were finally back home, admittedly it was at the Compound but it was still a step closer to being back with him. He cleared this throat, breaking himself from staring at you, you had moved to the window, staring out from the balcony across the vast lawns and gardens surrounding the Compound.
“So, um, let me know if you need anything” Steve squirmed he didn’t want to leave you, he wanted to hug you and hold you, look after you and help you to remember. It was driving him crazy that he couldn’t do all those things. It was then Steve had an idea.
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Months past and your memory slowly returned in pieces, you had flashes of memories triggered by the smallest of things.
When Wanda handed you a cup of coffee you remembered her buying you the mug for your birthday, which now turned out to be your favourite.
When you were in the gym doing cardio watching the others wrestle on the mat you remembered the one time you managed to pin Bucky from a move Nat had taught you. The shocked expression on Bucky’s face followed by the laughter and banter from the others.
Watching a film curled up in the lounge you remembered Tony picking a film he thought would be good, but he hadn’t even seen yet, it turning out to be an absolute abomination and one of the worst films you had ever seen.
One of Tony’s parties where he tried to show off his new updates to his Iron Man suit and ended up blowing a hole in the wall of the Compound, which he had hired a designer to turn the hole into a set of by folding doors onto a new decking area.
Months passed, your friendships with the group grew and grew, time spent with them was wonderful, days out, movie nights and girly weekends away, you felt more and more at home, but there was always some weird feeling with Steve, it felt different than with the others, there seemed to be more there. You also found yourself rubbing your wedding finger on your left hand absentmindedly when you felt alone or anxious, as though there was something missing, something that was a form of comfort.
You phone dinged telling informing you of a reminder, the message reading – “5year Anniversary, book favourite restaurant for Steve”.
“Wanda?” you called as you entered the gym, where she and Nat were in sparring with each other, both women stopping to look over at you
“What’s this?” you enquired quizzically, “5year Anniversary? but I’m not married!” a frown on your brow.
Nat and Wanda exchanged a look, it was the type of look that said “oh shit!” No one had thought to check your phone for any reminders in your calendar, why didn’t they at least get Tony or FRIDAY to run and check on this. They were kicking themselves.
“Oh well……um” trailed off Wanda, not quite sure what to tell you.
“It the anniversary of when you first joined the team, of course!” lied Nat “We always go out as a team for a meal around this time if we can, you normally book it as you know the best places to eat”
“Oh, right” you replied, kind of sadly, you thought there might be more and couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed. “Guess I’ll go and book a table for us all then, as its tradition, plus will be nice to eat out for a change” you mustered a smile and left Wanda and Nat in the gym to go make a few enquires.
Nat pulled out her mobile from her duffel bag, “Steve, we have an issue, we all need to meet, now!” informed Nat before hanging up and looking at a concerned Wanda.
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You sat out on the balcony, a cool breeze blowing as the sun was setting across the grounds, it was beautiful, this had always been your favourite time of day, the sky in colours of red and gold, without realising you were rubbing your finger where your wedding band once sat.
Your mind fuzzy, you saw marquees and fairy lights adorning the grounds of the compound, arches full of roses, candles and petals led you down the garden. You saw the whole team there, dressed in their best, Bucky, Tony, Thor, Clint and even Loki were all dressed in suits and ties, Scott had the biggest cheesiest grin on his face, it was although he was meeting Captain America all over again, he was so star struck.
Nat, Wanda, Pepper and Laura, all wearing beautiful dresses, Nat and Wanda’s were matching so assuming you were at a wedding of someone’s. The only person who seemingly weren’t there was Steve. You continued to walk along the petal’s pathway, and saw someone standing at the end of the aisle, you couldn’t make out their face, with their back to you.
“Y/N?” a voice broke your dream? Memory? Looking up it was Wanda, “You ok?” she asked, the look of concern etched on her face, she tried not to use her powers but could feel from your energy that you were troubled.
“Oh um, I think so” you replied, still a little dazed from what you had just saw, you shook your head, “I keep having flashes, not sure what they are, they seem like dreams, it’s so confusing” you rubbed your hand through your hair.
“Why don’t you write these flashes down, you can always speak to me about them, maybe I can help fill in any blanks, or you can ask Tony to speak with the company psychiatrist, but I think it would help to talk about them, maybe make things clearer for you” she spoke softly, resting a hand on your knee “come here” she opened her arms wide, pulling you into a big bear hug.
“Thanks, Wan, you’re right” you smiled, returning the hug
“Of course, I am” she replied with an eye roll and a smirk.
In the days that followed you had written up the flashes or dreams in your journal, as Wanda had suggested, it had helped to process them, you managed to link a few of them together to the same party thrown by Tony, or a day trip to the beach you and the team had enjoyed, your physiatrist has thought it was a brilliant idea.
You felt lighter, lifted somehow, you hadn’t yet taken Wanda up on her offer to talk about them, you had discussed them in your therapy sessions but you still wanted time to process these yourself.
Nat, Wanda and Laura had taken you out for the day, a girl’s day they had called it, shopping, lunch and an afternoon at a spa getting pampered. Steve had found your journal on the kitchen counter where you had left it that morning, in too much of a hurry to enjoy your day with the girls.
Steve came into the kitchen, noticing your journal on the counter, curiosity getting the better of him he picked it up and began reading, he was so enthralled by your writing he didn’t hear Bucky come in behind him, sweaty from a work out.
“Mmm hmmm” Bucky cleared his throat, making Steve jump and drop your journal on the floor.
“Shit Buck what are you doing creepy up to a 100-year-old man!” Steve remarked, holding his chest, “You’re lucky I didn’t try to hit you”
Bucky chuckled “I think I’ll survive, anyway you wouldn’t hurt your best bud” she chided with a grin, walking past Steve and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and drinking down half the bottle.
Steve picked up your journal placing it back on the side, as Bucky side eyed him. “What’s got you so engrossed anyway, are you reading one of the girls’ dirty books?” teased Bucky.
“What! No of course not, what makes you think that? It’s, it’s just a book, one of Y/N’s” Steve’s rambles made Bucky even more inquisitive.
“One of Y/N’s? what like her diary?” asked Bucky, downing the rest of the bottle of water and putting the bottle in the recycling, before heading over to the counter next to Steve and picking up the journal.
“No, she calls them flashes or dreams, but reading it I know they are memories of the last 5 years, she’s starting to remember, there is even a bit about our wedding day” Steve sounded a little frustrated, that you can remember things but from the things he read, you hadn’t yet remembered anything about your life with him, or your 5 years of marriage.
Seeing Steve’s frustration, Bucky sighed “Hey, why don’t ya speak with the doctors and see if they think it’s a good idea if you help her remember, if they say it’s good, I have an idea” his eyes twinkling and a grin on his face.
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“Nat!” you whined, “Do I have to! I just want to spend the day in my pj’s watching Disney films and eating my weight in chocolate” you pulled the bed covers back over your head, burying your face in the pillows.
The covers felt lighter as they lifted from your body, “Wanda!” you shouted as the covers floated away from you and practically clung to the ceiling.
Wanda and Nat laughing, “I hate you both” you muttered as you padded grumpily past them and into the bathroom, slamming the door “And wash your hair!” yelled Nat, she and Wanda high fiving as Wanda put the covers back on your bed.
An hour later you were dressed white lacey short dress with a burgundy silk belt and white flower, which Nat had picked for you.
“Nat, you sure I have to wear this? It looks like a wedding dress!” you whined.
“Y/N you look beautiful” beamed Wanda as she pinned your hair in place, she had chosen a simple look, she had curled your hair into soft wavy curls and pinned half your hair up, the other half resting delicately on your shoulders.
Even you couldn’t help but admire yourself in the mirror, all three of you were looking amazing, dressed in your best, the girls telling you it was for a surprise party Tony was throwing for Pepper.
There was a knock at the door, Laura popped her head around the door, “You guys ready” she beamed.
One last check of each other’s dresses and makeup and you were out the door.
Headed downstairs, Nat stopped you at the bottom, holding up a silk piece of material. “Y/N, we kinda lied to you, this isn’t for Pepper and I need to put this blindfold on you now before we go outside” she grinned an mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Wait, what” but before you could protest, Nat had covered your eyes with the material, Wanda using her powers to hold your hands down preventing you from touching the blindfold.
Blindfolded, they led you outside, the fresh air, warm sun and scent of flowers hitting your senses.
“Nat! Wanda! What are you up to! Get this thing off m…” your words failing to leave your lips as the blindfold was removed, and your hands released. You blinked at the bright sunlight, as your eyes adjusted you could see the grounds had been decorated with hundreds of roses, of all colours.
You stood shocked for a moment, it was just like your dream, the gardens decorated with awnings and drapes, roses and a pathway of petals.
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“You ready?” asked Bucky, he Steve and Tony were standing at the end of the gardens, a beautiful archway decorated with your favourite colour rose stood behind him. An aisle leading to where they stood waiting.
“I just hope this works, I hope she’s ok with this” replied Steve, his voice a little shaky, his hands resting on his hips as he stared out at the group of people sat in the ivory seats either side of the aisle. He and Bucky in the Navy suits they had previously worn on yours and Steve’s wedding day.
Only the Avenger’s had been invited, plus a few closer friends, they didn’t want to overwhelm you with masses of people.
Thor raised his hip flask to Steve as he caught his gaze, Loki sitting beside him rolling his eyes, even though he wouldn’t admit it Loki always had a soft spot for you, he was pleased to be apart of this day for you.
Tony patting Steve on the shoulder, brought his attention back from starting at the end of the aisle, waiting, hoping to see you appear.
“She’ll be here, she’ll remember and she’ll love it” reassured Tony. Steve giving him a smile in acceptance.
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Laura having taken her seat with Clint and her family, Nat and Wanda stood with you, you were sat on the decking outside of the Compound staring around at the decorations in the garden.
“I dreamt this, I remembered this, a few weeks ago. I..I thought it must have been a dream, but it’s exactly the same. I was remembering my wedding day, wasn’t I?” you asked them, a frown on your face.
“Yes, Y/N, we wanted to do something to help you remember, we know how hard this has been for you, we wanted to show you how much we are here for you, all of us, and one of us in particular” replied Wanda, resting her hand on yours in you lap.
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, then a flash before your eyes, you were back in your ‘dream’ walking further down the aisle, the man at the end turning to face you and huge smile on his face, matching the one on yours. You could see the love within the twinkle in his eyes as he saw you for the first time in that beautiful white gown, your dress that day a lot different to the one you wore today.
“Steve” you whispered, opening your eyes. Nat and Wanda’s face breaking out in massive smiles
“You remember!” breathed Nat with a sigh of relief.
“I remember” you rubbed your finger where your wedding band used to sit. “I remember our first date, Steve was so nervous” you chuckled “He took me dancing then we had a walk through the park, it was twilight, it was then that I told Steve it was my favourite time of day because of the beautiful colours in the skies, he proposed in the same park at twilight 6 months later, he had dressed the trees with fairy lights and drapes, just like….. just like the gardens today”
Nat and Wanda pausing for a moment, looking at you, “It’s up to you Y/N, do you want to go through with this? No one is forcing you into anything, we just want you to remember”
You looked at Nat as she spoke, then back out around the grounds.
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Music began playing making Steve and Bucky to turn and stare at the aisle, Steve’s breath hitching in his throat as you came around the corner, Nat and Wanda just ahead of you. Smiles on all three of your faces, everyone stood as you made your way down the petal strewn aisle, Tony grinning at you, he had been like a father to you.
Bucky patted Steve on the shoulder, Steve looked at him with the shit eating ‘I told you so’ grin on his face, before turning his gaze back to you. You looked so beautiful, his heart pounding in his chest as you go nearer and nearer, stopping just in front of him.
“You ready for this?” he asked softly.
You smiled at him, it was as though the last few months since the accident had never happened, it was the way you had looked at him before, the way that made his heart sing and his stomach flutter.
All you could do was nod and smile as Steve took your hand, placing a soft kiss to it. He led you forward to stand in front of Tony.
“Friends, family, we be gathered here today…….” Began Tony.
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