#thisisntliving

[t3mamathoughts]

You must have been close today. I felt you right on my shoulder. I felt the weight of your body cuddling me. It only lasts a second and then it’s gone leaving me sadder then I was before. I’m not sure how much more pain my soul can take. I was a shred a person before you died now I’m just a shell.

[mechanicsoflifeloveandbarbells]

As I sit here alone in a movie theater, it's really sinking in that the life I'm living is not the life I envisioned for myself. Although I may be successful in school and my job, I have let so many things take power over me in ruining my friendships. I have seen so many people come and go because I've chosen to cling to the one person that is no good for me. I wish I could grow the courage to leave. I wish I could walk away. I know he is no good for me and has been a toxin to my life for the last 3 years. I tell myself I deserve better, I deserve happiness, but I'm so emotionally damaged by him that I'm terrified I'll be alone for the rest of my life. At 23. I really hope I can wake up one day and find the strength to leave. Whenever I get close to leaving I find the most preposterous reason to say. I have to go. I need to go.

[non-timere]

-_-

I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. I’m so done with school. 

[ieatmybroccoli]

Fields of Gold: Ready to Run

Changes are coming.

What changes, exactly, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because spring is here and I find myself wanting to bask in the warm glow of the sun. Or maybe it’s because I am growing tired of how routine my life feels.

It’s time to run. To flee. To get out of here.

I want to escape my tri-county area and see new things and meet new people. I miss that feeling of peace I get from going on a long drive- the feeling of excitement when I see something new. I am worn down by schedules, obligations, and responsibilities. I’m sick of routine and predictability. 

I am so tired of feeling confined and strapped down. I want my freedom.

So I am going to take it back :)