May 26, 2018
Yay new cosplayers!! She was so sweet, and was so happy to hold my prop!! <3 #thisiswhyicosplay #newcosplayers #precious #dva #overwatch
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Yay new cosplayers!! She was so sweet, and was so happy to hold my prop!! <3 #thisiswhyicosplay #newcosplayers #precious #dva #overwatch
Sobrang cute nitong batang 'to. Little Andrew Wesley, the first time he saw Spider-Man, crawled as fast as he can towards me! Nagulat kami na hindi siya natakot or umiyak, nagpakarga pa! Nakakatuwang maka-experience ng ganito. #thisiswhyicosplay #SpiderDan (at Makati Medical Center)
The reason why I cosplay
From the age of 8-19 I considered myself an actor. I was in at least one show a year until I was 16. I took drama in school, I wanted to go to college for it, I had an agent, I was on the right path. After doing a traveling show when I was 16, I decided to switch to film acting. I auditioned for some big shows and movies. Like, REALLY big. Of course I never got any of the roles but I did do short films and pilots for 3 years. All of these roles had something in common though. They were "boring" roles. I had dreams of running after monsters and doing fight scenes. There were no roles like that anywhere though. Then when I was 19 I got a featured role in a feature film that went on to be nominated for many awards, even wining some! It was everything I wanted!
Or so I thought. I actually quit acting after that movie. You need to have a certain amount of confidence in order to be an actor and I didn't have it. I am not skinny, I do not have the Hollywood look, in fact my look fit NOTHING out there. I could not be the geek, or the cheerleader, or the crazy one, or anything. I had bits of pieces of each look but no one wanted me for anything. This was of course hard for me because it was all I wanted to do with my life.
Then I was 22, I made plans to go to the Calgary Comic Expo.
This expo changed my life and got me out of a severe depression I had been in for months. See, at this point in time, I had no direction in life. I didn't know what I was going to do, I was working a job I hated, I had a medical issue that caused me to go broke, I had to move back in with my mother. Nothing was going right and I often cried for long periods of time.
I actually almost did not go to the expo. I was incredibly sick and got maybe 6 hours of sleep in 3 nights. I was exhausted and could not stop coughing. I was in so much pain and the last thing I wanted to do was go to a comic expo. I decided to go anyways and the day before going I went out and bought stuff for a Doctor Who cosplay. I had actually never seen the show but the girl I was going with loves it more then anything and really wanted to be Amy.
Once I got to the expo, I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect. I did not want to get out of the car because I did not want people to judge me for being in a costume (little did I know!). I was scared people would make fun of me for having such little knowledge about things. I was scared that I would be out of place and have the worst time ever. I was, of course, also really excited to finally be going to an expo for the first time ever.
We got our tickets and got in line and that was the moment everything changed. The guy in front of me hear me talking about World of Warcraft and instead of calling me names like every one else, he joined in and we had a great talk about it. Then more people showed up in cosplay and I was in awe at what people could make. Someone in line beside us started singing Dr. Horrible and my friend and I joined in. Eventually we made our way in and I knew right away I was in the right place. I had found my home.
A month ago I went to my second expo. I went as Lady Sif and had the best weekend of my life. I spent weeks and over 100 hours to finish her cosplay. My goal for that weekend was to have it be good enough that one person would ask me for a picture. I would have been so happy with that. I ended up getting so much more. Within the first minute of being there I had a guy yell "Yeah Lady Sif!" and people pointing at me as I walked by. I can not even tall you how many people stopped and asked for photos and I even had 2 people ask for videos. I had people coming up to me and saying they follow me on tumblr and instagram and that they watch my YouTube videos. It was so surreal.
That part that was amazing about it all was not the attention I got, it was the feeling I got. I felt like I was a part of a community. I no longer felt like the freak show that no one wanted. I was no longer being made fun of for investing a months time into this cosplay. I no longer felt like I had no purpose. For the first time in years I walked into a place confidence. I didn't have to hide what I looked like, I didn't have to hide what I liked, I didn't have to hide who I was.
Now I am 23 and I feel like I have something to live for again. I may not be able to making a living with cosplay right now, but being a part of a community as amazing as this one is the best thing in the world. I would love to eventually make commission pieces and paintings and YouTube videos for a living, but until I get there I know I always have this community I can turn to for love and support.
This is why I cosplay.