btw: sadness is not the only hallmark of depression; and often, manifestations of depression come out in ways we do not frequently see represented in media.
it’s not always crying, lethargy, or despair. it can be anger, bitterness, hyper-criticism, cruelty, perfectionism, pushing people away, refusing help, or numbing yourself to connection. behaviors that hurt you and the people around you. acting in ways that make you something unrecognizable.
does any of this ring a bell?
in s2, dr. robby exemplifies how depression can warp the self, turning someone into a version of themselves that’s hostile, infuriating, and impossibly aggravating. it is a vividly accurate portrayal of the darker, less-recognized sides of a disorder that carries a lot of misconceptions. depression can be a wretched, ugly thing; something that doesn't just pull you under, but makes you fight the people dearest to you—even (and often especially) those who are trying to throw you a lifeline.
in the pitt, your empathy is always in question: to whom do you extend it? and to what extent? especially with healthcare workers, there is a level of grace and understanding demanded of them at all times. and yet, so often when we glimpse their humanity and vulnerability, there is a quick turn—they're harshly judged, dehumanized, and seen as 'undeserving' of the same empathy expected of them.
if watching robby makes you uncomfortable, then i'd say the show is doing its job. ultimately, it's what you do with that discomfort that matters. notice it. sit with it. this is a chance to learn—to recognize that mental health doesn't follow rules, and even when it doesn't fit the cookie-cutter version we've been taught, it’s still worthy of the kind of patience and understanding we tend to reserve for pain that’s more palatable.
coffee and pine trees by orangemints (6/6 | 37,402 | E)
Xie Lian was in his senior year of being a law major and his reputation was impeccable. Renowned for his beauty, talent in dance, astounding grades, and polite disposition, his name was whispered about all over campus. He was practically flawless, and would have been even more popular, if not for how untouchable his love life was. It seemed the campus Crown Prince was completely uninterested in dating.
Then he meets the sophomore upset, Hua Cheng, infamous for his wanton behaviour and easy smiles, in a cafe - and the rumours start flying.
“Have you heard? The Crown Prince is having an affair with the literature department’s number one bigshot!”
Digging for Orchids by betts (6/6 | 43,684 | E)
“It is possible,” Hua Cheng began slowly, for once looking like a real person and not a god who had meticulously chosen a human suit in which to travel this petty and boring mortal world, “I may have lied a little, to my cohort. I may have told them, a few of them, not many, I was married.”
“Okay,” Xie Lian said, assuming he was talking about his special someone.
“To you.”
“WHAT.”
Or: After a meltdown goes viral and ruins his acting career, Xie Lian moves to LA. Unable to find work, he slips into a severe depression, until Shi Qingxuan hooks him up with a new roommate, an art student who has apparently been telling everyone they're married.
hold the quiet of my heart by moonsteps (3/3 | 53,441 | T)
San Lang laughs. It’s low and raw and makes something in Xie Lian’s chest dance. Pitter patter, pitter patter, like ballerina toes. “So why are you meeting with Hua Cheng?”
“To ask him to live with me,” says Xie Lian immediately.
(Or: Xie Lian and Hua Cheng become roommates.)
feng xin x mu qing
little beastie by Annabec (1/1 | 6,613 | T)
Mu Qing.
Mu Qing is a kid.
Feng Xin needs to sit down.
But not here, because this is Mu Qing’s bedroom, and Feng Xin wouldn’t ordinarily have barged in at all but Xie Lian had asked and Mu Qing is sitting in a puddle of his sleeping robes, silky hair flopping into his eyes. He tries to brush it away, pouting. His hand doesn’t even emerge from his sleeve. He pouts harder.
Feng Xin possibly makes a noise like a tea kettle and sits down right where he’s standing. Because fuck chairs and propriety.
Mu Qing apparently gives up on his hair, because he scoots to the edge of his bed to peer down at Feng Xin, head tipped to the side like an adorable little bird. Feng Xin is going to die.
Mollycoddled by wanningcore (1/1 | 7,980 | T)
“Uh, I made you ginger congee. I assume you haven’t eaten recently.” Feng Xin nudges the bowl across the table so it’s a little closer to Mu Qing, eyes flitting back and forth between him and the food. “Also I made peppermint tea if you want some afterwards. And I threw away your half-cooked eggs, which was disgusting by the way, they were stuck to the pan—”
Knowing that Feng Xin rambles when he’s nervous and won’t stop once he gets going, Mu Qing snaps, “What are you doing back here?”
Feng Xin’s head jerks up, brows furrowing angrily. “Fuck, just shut up and let someone take care of you for once. Eat your fucking congee.”
(Or: Mu Qing is sick and Feng Xin takes care of him. Lots of feelings and emotions ensue.)
Tear out this graceless heart (and hope that you will treat it well) by juurensha (1/1 | 8,964 | T)
“However you have changed, Feng Xin hasn’t,” Mu Qing says bluntly. “He’s still—loyal to a fault. He’s as dumb as a bag of rocks, and he can never figure anything out or notice anything, but you fell in love with that, so you can’t fault him there. He likes to fight too much, but he’s also—so kind. Kind and loyal to all those who are lucky enough to be in his affections.”
(And he has never been all that lucky in the end.)
Jian Lan’s eyes widen as she stares at him.
“What?” he snaps.
“…I am no longer in love with him, but I think you are,” Jian Lan says finally.
Mu Qing and his Cursed Luck by heartbeatangel (1/1 | 10,927 | T)
"I can't believe you two are seeing each other! You two love each other now, don’t you?”
Feng Xin plastered on the fakest smile Mu Qing ever seen him flash. “Yes, so much in love.”
He wrapped an arm around Mu Qing’s waist, drawing him closer to his body. Mu Qing tried not to push him away on reflex and hoped his disbelief was interrupted as shyness. Curse his stupid, shitty luck!
(The five times Feng Xin and Mu Qing faked being in love, and the one time they didn't need to.)
