#thought vomit

[grecianghost]

love this Wyatt Russell Is Lost & Confused genre of movies 💀

[doingautismsohardformyfandoms]

pricklyalpaca has kept my love for vampires alive even when i for some reason dont finish watching vsmp

[pininghost]

I am on my knees BEGGING for a fourth irish folklore movie from cartoon saloon because have you heard butchered tongue and de selby part 1 that needs to be in a movie with their stunning visuals pls pls pls I am fucked in the head rn

[callipsx]

I pulled 10 of pentacles the other day as a little exercise on concepts and cards while doing it as a journalling type of thing. And this card is interesting to me because in one deck it asks me about the legacy I am building and how I'm building support systems for future generations. The same card in another deck screams at me about my own ancestors and what I inherited from those who came before (blood ancestor or otherwise). Another talks about well laid foundations for prosperity and abundance in your life that you can finally enjoy.

What I have been thinking about the past few days is my own legacy. What am I building and who am I building it for? What does it mean in the context of my present life and support of the future generations to come? Am I honouring my ancestors and making them proud? And while reflecting on these answers, which have a wide variety of clarity to them, some so foggy it's just a dense cloud, others as crystal clear as a pristine mountain lake, a bigger question started bothering me.

The question that has been clanking around in the nogging is, does this even matter in the scheme of things if one doesn't work for preservation of life and building better systems so the next generations could live a semblance of any life at all? How much does it matter if we don't provide a social world organised for the better of humans and nature and not for profit? What does it matter if I build some semblance of material security for family and professional rigour and interest for my students, if the next generations won't have clean water, or peace, or privacy and anonymity, or even freedom to enjoy what I'm building to the fullest because they will be fighting and grinding for basic survival? Why would we let corporate and capitalist greed win for an inch of upward hierarchical movement, when the rich could topple it in the next second and no one would have any alternative support systems in place to help?

What legacy and systems and knowledge are truly of a priority in the current state of the world so that the next generations could build it further? All these questions are important to ask ourselves as individuals but also as practitioners. Some of us are practicing traditions that have few and far of people practicing them and we are basically doing conservation work. Others have a little more numbers but still, it takes effort and consideration to preserve and maintain the tradition.

I don't have definitive answers to these questions I vomited out, merely ideas (solarpunk, socialism/communism/anarchy frankenstein thing that finally fucking works, animism if we jolt people out of apathy and teach them to care, etc.) that might work based on the information I have and some political will, fury, and spite that I have. I'm still chewing on this and I might come to some fragment of an answer or even more questions by the end of the week, who knows

[tango-offical]

is there such thing as a warm breakfast other than porridge? because i will sooner move to America than eat another bowl of porridge

could i heat up some weet bix............

[theoneandonlyqueen]

I want a love I don't have to question. The kind where in day to day life we still move together with understanding and compassion. The kind that doesn't evoke anxiety every time I leave the house to do something on my own. The kind where boundaries are respected and we can both share our concerns without it being labeled as "always finding a problem". A partner who will listen to what I'm saying without tuning out and ignoring me halfway through. Someone I can have fun and laugh with, especially when things are hard. I'm tired of stress sweating and jumping through hoops. Having become someone completely separate from who I once was, I miss the girl I was before the heartbreak. I miss the softness of her.

But mostly I miss having a relationship that feels good to be in.

[flashbackonyourbehalf]

Decision Fatigue

(2/4/2025)

I’ve mentioned I have to stretch out 8 days’ worth of oxy into 14 days but it’s so much harder than it sounds.

How long can I tolerate the pain just lying here? I’m really hungry but I can’t get up other than to use the bathroom. What can I eat lying down? Or should I take my meds and do the dishes so I can cook, or spend more money on ordering in? I need to shower tomorrow; should I skip that and be gross or force myself to take as little oxy as possible for the next three days? Can I trust myself to do that?

I REALLY have to go to the bathroom but I’m in so much pain; should I power through it or wait till my meds kick in? No, I can’t hold it, I have to go. I’m hyperventilating from pain as I sit there.

All I can think about is the pain. Two more hours until I can take more oxycodone; can I push it to three to save some? I can tolerate sitting in this position for five minutes; I need to eat as much as possible in that time. Ow, my stomach hurts and I need to lie on my left side, but my sciatica is acting up. It’ll be another half an hour before I can roll over. So do I want to deal with stomach pain or leg pain?

Finally, I can sit on the couch for ten minutes. But I can only get up one more time before I need to be in bed for the rest of the day. What’s more important, refilling my water or turning up the volume on the TV?

I’m in pain. I’m so scared. I’m exhausted from the millions of tiny decisions I make every day. I’m stressed out of my mind.

I want to cry. Should I let it out? No, don’t - it will only make the pain worse.

[elizatungusnakur]

In the eternal quest to recognize and pull forth Loki and trickster-adjacent personas from countless pieces of visual art, films, music, poems, and novels across time and the universe... I present my latest fixation:

Lucien Vanserra, anyone?

He's associated with cleverness, sarcasm, cackling laughter... and foxes, if not for his burning red hair alone. He wanders and switches sides when suits his best interests, sports some hefty facial scarring and a pair of pointy ears, and is usually responsible for sassy one-liners such as:

"If I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?"

and

"I didn't keep my mouth shut when I should have, and was punished for it."