#thoughts about things

[mayhaps-a-blog]

Folks I just finished this week's episode and I loved it so much I have to talk about it

Unfortunately most of my friends aren't caught up so y'all are getting the unhinged rant instead XD Sorry not sorry

So interesting to see Gurathin's backstory, which we never get in the books - for any of them, really - which says so much about why he's been like that for the show!

And SecUnit being SO BAD at deescalation, like my dude, my gender-lacking guy, you are so awkward XD

And we got the monologue from the books about why SecUnit doesn't just walk off, which really does help say why it's sticking around (even if it's at least partially a lie, you could never abandon a client SecUnit and you know it XD ), like it has actually thought about this, you know?

And that final shot - that was SUCH a good shot, showing us the enemy SecUnit's face. That little reminder that we've mostly seen them as faceless constructs - that the PresAux team has only seen faceless constructs, look at the contrast in how they've dealt with LeeBeeBee's death vs. enemy SecUnit 1 at DeltFall and now - but SecUnit itself can never forget.

Everything Mensah, Arada, and Ratthi is arguing for, everything they're slowly convincing themselves is true about SecUnit, is ALSO true of the other SecUnits. They can see it as a person now, because it's talked to them, shown them its face, dealt with them in a human manner. But they still haven't reckoned with the fact that every other SecUnit - including the ones trying to kill them - are exactly the same.

Trapped in the same position. Forced to guard their stupid clients, follow their every stupid order. Forced into killing those clients, attacking PresAux, other SecUnits - things they never asked for.

They want to know if SecUnit feels regret? For killing LeeBeeBee? I don't know, do they feel any regret for killing the first SecUnit?

How could SecUnit feel regret? It was doing its job. It was being a good SecUnit. It's never been allowed to feel regret before.

Mensah's starting to get it - that mining drill comment was such a good line, and she's finally starting to think. And that realization, that start, is why we can see SecUnit starting to trust her - starting to listen to her, where it still can't deal with the others.

This show is SO FUCKING GOOD and I can't believe I need to wait a whole week for the next episode :'(

[the-faustian-locust]

I think I figured out why I like Eva so much- she’s both sides of my favourite dynamic: character forced to be a monster (figuratively or literally) for the good of someone they care about/the greater good and character who keeps them grounded and acts as/is seen as the saviour/martyr. I mean this pretty loosely and isn’t strictly grounded in canon for some but the most default of the dynamic in my head is Teaholding (Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood) Madoka and Homura, and JayVik (Jayce and Viktor) and if I need to elaborate on that I will. Also yes I’m aware she has this dynamic with Grace but this isn’t a strattland post.

Eva is both the monster and the martyr; she did everything in her power regardless of how destructive it was in order to save humanity, and she paid the highest price for it; losing her only actual friend and spends the rest of her life in prison or hiding, utterly isolated. She doesn’t become inhuman but I’d imagine it’s hard to be so thoroughly abandoned for doing what was necessary while keeping a sense of humanity intact.

Genuinely she is one of the few characters I would directly compare to Makoda Kaname or Cyrene. If she could have been the sacrifice, she would have been. She was fully on board with dying for humanity without even thinking about it, without any kind of persecution complex or anything that implies selfish reasons. Even if she was doing it for selfish reasons- saving the world is still saving the world.

No I don’t know what it says about me that I consistently fixate on this type of character it’s probably nothing.

[sixseisliu]

So do we think andrew did some sleuthing after he found out neil's birth name? Like was he asking jeeves (gimme the joke here) for information about mobsters named nathan? You think he figured anything out on his own and kept it to himself because of their secrets game and respect and stuff? I can't fully believe that andrew would just wait on neil, and the butcher of baltimore was kinda high profile, right? Especially since he was finally in prison for something.

[mothric]

01.08.2025 - thoughts from the backlogs

"idk why, but i felt compelled to spend an hour today reading through some of the oldest, oldest text posts on my tumblr. we're talking 2011-2012. and it feels... really surreal, to read the words of this past version of myself that was so... unconscious. like i really had not woken up to myself at all. and that's not to say that the feelings i felt and the experiences i wrote about were entirely fake, but the tone was so...

like i had no idea about the trauma. i had no idea about the autism or the adhd yet. i genuinely thought i was just lazy, undisciplined, and that my parents' burdens were my fault and my responsibility. i refused to linger on any negative emotions unless they were soleley directed at myself. and i talked a lot about faith and how much God meant to me, but reading it feels like reading a chintzy devotional. like it was plastic.

then i got to a vent post, about 10 pages in, where i expressed a lot of anger at the way my mom had treated me throughout my life. and while it was hot and angry, it was also the first post that felt real. like that actually sounds like me. i recognize that person. right there is a moment where, maybe for the first time, i got in touch with my own genuine thoughts and opinions, discovered i had agency and existed as a whole person separate from my caretakers, rather than an extension of them.

that was just... a really interesting shift to see. like i spent the first 18 years of my life asleep, buried under what everyone in my immediate life projected onto me. and it was getting in touch with my anger that helped me start to figure out who i actually was. there are whole coming-of-age books about this kind of thing. and trauma/therapy resources that confirm it too. just kind of bizarre to see it laid out like that in my own life."

[theinwardlight]

It is not difficult to get rid of material things if you so desire; but only with great effort will you be able to get rid of thoughts about them.

Thalassios of Libya, On love, self-control, and life in accordance with the intellect

[juliettedelune]

Sometimes people who love you don't say it directly but may use other words to show their love.

They can say:

• Are you dressed warmly? It's cold today

• I remember you said you wanted it so I made you a gift

• Text me when you get home

• Oh, I remember you already told me about it 5 years ago and we laughed a lot

• I saw this and thought of you that's why I bought it for you, keep it

• How do you feel?

• I'm worried about you

• Good morning

• Good night

• I'll be away for a while, I need to do some things, don't lose me, I'll text you soon

• How are you? Do you feel better today?

• Where are you?

• I'm really sorry, it was my fault

• What do you think about it? Do you like it or not? Your opinion is important for me

• Oooh, you're so beautiful

• I feel that something wrong. Can you share your feelings?

• Did I hurt you?

• Do you want me to do this?

• You're so lovely person and I appreciate you

• *send a meme* "THIS IS US" or "THIS IS YOU"

[xyomarasworld]

I never had a father. I never had any male role models in my life. I never had a man who was there for me like my mom. It makes me feel like I’m missing something in my life. Like I’m missing a part of me. And what makes me feel even worse is that I know other people have their fathers. They have a man who's there for them through thick and thin and who takes care of them and loves them. That makes me so jealous. Because it makes me think to myself why can I have what they have? And when people make fun of the fact that some people never knew their fathers and might never will, that makes me so angry. It makes me want to punch them in their faces. It makes me want to take their fathers away from them so they could know how it feels and so they’ll never make fun of us again. But most of all, it makes me feel sad. Because it reminds me my dad is absent from my life.