Caranthir the financial advisor from hell
The guards of Nargothrond glanced from side to side as if to ask each other ‘Is this allowed?’ They’d had three Feanorians staying with them for a while now but they were still unclear on the protocol for dealing with one of them just turning up at the gates. Nonetheless, they parted to let him through with little protest once their commanding officers gave them the go ahead.
He did not respond to their hesitance, to their great relief, none wished to be on the receiving end of that glare of his. He strode forward with a simple nod of acknowledgment to their general, his boots clicking evenly on the marble floor and somehow managing to echo through the corridor despite the background noise of a bustling city. Did all their nobility have some kind of powers when it came to being excessively dramatic? They’d thought their king was overly theatrical but the Feanorians all seemed to be as well, albeit in different ways.
He made his way straight through the corridors to the ongoing council meeting. This was concerning for numerous reasons, not the least of which being that everyone was fairly sure he had never been to Nargothrond before, so how could he possibly know their floor plan, let alone their schedule? Nevertheless, he flung open the doors and stood in the doorway, his glare at his cousin perhaps not as intense as his father’s but enough to terrify most into submission.
‘Moryo!’ Celegorm began to grin, the sight not even remotely reassuring to anyone. The two other sons of Feanor seemed way too at ease, but then who could ever claim to understand what was going on with that lot? Caranthir shot a far harsher yet somehow fond glare towards his brothers, ‘Tyelkormo. Atarinkë,’ he replied with little enthusiasm. ‘It’s been years, would it kill you to write, brother!’ Celegorm teased jovially. ‘I wasn’t aware you could read. Brother.’
A little snort broke the tense silence and the only grandson of Feanor beamed at his uncle through his amusement, ‘It’s good to see you uncle.’ Caranthir shot his nephew a quick smile and softened his tone, ‘A pleasure as always Tyelpe darling.’ He now brought his focus back to Finrod who was apprehensive as if he knew what was coming, the same as the Feanorians who were all giving each other conspiratorial glances. ‘Ingoldo. Findarato. My dear cousin.’
‘I have recently received your yen’s expenses report.’ ‘Holy shit,’ murmured Celegorm under his breath though still very much audibly, the grin on his face growing to troubling levels. ‘You have truly outdone yourself. Really.’ Finrod was turning gradually paler. ‘Why do you have access to documents from Nargothrond’s treasury?’
‘Because all our relatives have been delegating financial matters to me since I was forty. You didn’t think Fingon could actually draft a budget for his army himself did you? And Nelyo can’t barely do long division. They may say that something is for the king’s eyes only but what they really mean is it’s for Fingon to send my brother in between some graphic sketches and love letters and then for Nelyo to send to me once he’s exhausted his energy for calculations.’
‘And I have to wonder if you have a single person in your council capable of basic budgeting skills or if you simply regularly ignore expenditure plans to support your jewellery problem. I’m guessing the latter. So I have taken the liberty of drafting a comprehensive plan for all your financial dealings for the next yen and I expect you to follow it.’ He slammed a heavy tome onto the table, ‘I’m trusting Curufin to make sure you don’t deviate too far.’
‘Caranthir, it’s hardly like you’re living in some austere shack yourself!’ Caranthir shot a cold glare back, ‘Unlike you I manage my money. I am giving you the chance to do the same and I advise you take it.’ He stalked over to his family and accepted a kiss on the forehead from Celegorm before placing one on Curufin and Celebrimbor’s. ‘Three Cs for life!’ Celegorm called after him, still way too pleased to see his cousin get scolded. ‘That’s never going to catch on!’ Came the synchronised yells of Curufin and Caranthir.
