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The moon is living her best life #themoon #threeamthoughts https://www.instagram.com/p/B9f3tZEpWN9/?igshid=1o4909nv6zu1h
#CandorAF #ThreeAMthoughts
It's better to be on codeine, than alive
3am thoughts
Fifteen months later
While I waited for you, the all too familiar anxiety kicked in. However, this wasn’t just any type of worry or panic. This was the special kind, reserved just for you.
When you walked through those doors an immediate sense of calm flowed through my body. You have always had a knack for keeping me grounded.
I was happy.
We picked up where we left off. We chatted, flirted, laughed and got drunk on red wine. You held my hand and smiled.
You kissed me.
Why did you kiss me?
Why did you tell me you loved me? Only to become incapable of returning the favour when I told you the next morning, while you kissed my neck, that you felt the same way.
You held me tight in that moment as if things hadn’t changed. As if we truly had picked up where we left off.
If only that were true.
I am not happy.
What will happened if after all these years of keeping this space as a secret, not a secret anymore? Why is it that there is no privacy setting for this page? What if someone know about this and starts to judge me based on what I wrote? Sometimes I wish you knew about this space that is dedicated to you for about 6 years and sometimes I hope you wouldn't be able to find this. At times I felt scared of being exposed of my one sided story, and at times I wish you understand where Im coming from.
Don’t accept the love you think you deserve from people.
You might as well be disappointed, if you do. Expecting is hurting.You expect so much love that there isn’t in the first place. So better not assume. Instead, accept the love you deserve from the Lord. Assume it to its fullest! It is when you embrace that there’s no person who can love you more than God, only you will find the satisfaction. Only then you will realize the importance of being loved by the One who made you.
If you’re my size and lose weight due to an eating disorder, you’re considered a success story. If you’re skinny, you’re put in the hospital.
When will we start treating all body types the same when it comes to the vicious disease?
I thought it was just an act
But I've caught myself actually smiling and laughing and enjoying the little moments. I'm getting there. And I'm okay with that. Its going to sting when I see the first pic, or the words written in bold; but it's part of life. You get stung, you get a bandaid, and you let it heal until it does. Right? I know. Way harder than it sounds but I'm just trying to take it all in. I don't want to be feel like I'm living in a fantasy. Reality has hit me many times, and I've gotten through it. I'm getting through it and I will somehow, get through it. So sting away I guess. I'll take it with open arms.