#tirablany

[tirasany]

I didn’t even know that there was a Dracula musical in Germany I am losing my mind OMG Tanz der Vampire is my fave ever

[tirasany]

Lately I have been really stressed out. I came to the conclusion that – let's call it the incident – made me way more insecure than I previously thought. The damage has already be done, inflicted because all I wanted to do was help. Helping the person and, well enjoy the time together. I was never the most talkative person but this, this incident made it so much worse. I tried to set boundaries but was punished for doing so. I won't pretend that I acted absolutely perfect I didn't. When I was too hurt, too sad I said things that were painful as well. This of course doesn’t justify them by any means. It is really hard to me because I am trying my very best to approach others as best as I can. This person still was the first that instantly talked to me. The first time we ever talked was all night long (for me at least haha). That fact alone makes me really upset. Even though that happened a few years ago I still feel the consequences of it, unfairly projecting it unto others. I fear that others have expectations of me that I simply cannot fulfill. Mostly talking about this sad hellsite (affectionately). I know my weaknesses well but I just can't help it, it stresses me. Knowing them isn't helping that greatly either sadly. Others reading what I wrote is the biggest of 'em all lmao.

When you already read to this point let me give you some advice and my thanks. If someone completely ignores the boundaries that you set and you feel depressed constantly it is not worth it. I had those nice times as well I felt so good sometimes, but in the end it is not worth it.

[tirasany]

just can’t bring myself to do anything lately

[tirasany]

Um ehrlich zu sein habe ich es noch nie von diesem Standpunkt aus betrachtet. Bevor es überhaupt Deutschland gab waren wir doch auch alles nur so Staaten so unglaublich stolz, aber wir haben es geschafft andere Deutsche zu akzteptieren, also... wie kommt es, dass es so schwer ist andere zu akzeptieren?? Was ist es?? Warum machen wir es uns so schwer?!?!

[tirasany]

I remember this one time someone send me an ask telling me that my ocs made them feel save it still makes me feel warm inside

[tirasany]

I am legitimate so depressed lately

[tirasany]

Y'all know this feeling of wanting to draw so badly but absolutely no energy to do so? TuT

[tirasany]

I'm so envious of people who have nice dreams, of people they know or characters they love

I just make charas up no meaning whatsoever and I feel nothing at all

The only upside of it I literally have no nightmares whatsoever