After Babygate, he could hardly manage to keep it together enough to get through an hour, let alone day after day. Rachel was the one he turned to, pouring out his pain, his anger, his soul. She was the only one he trusted, and he thought if she hadn't been there for him he would have gone totally insane.
Slowly, so slowly, he felt things start to turn around. He actually felt like he wanted to get out of bed in the morning. He saw Quinn and Puck in the halls or in Glee, and he no longer had a red haze clouding his vision or felt his heartbeat in his ears from the pressure in his chest. He even managed a small smile at Quinn one day when she dropped her books in front of him. He picked them up and handed them to her. Her whispered "Thank you" as she stared at her shoes made his heart twist a little, but he gave her a tiny half-grin and a one-shouldered shrug before he turned his back on her and continued down the hall toward Rachel's locker.
He couldn't really pinpoint when he started to feel a little suffocated by Rachel. He still talked to her, and they still hung out, but the fact that he was not going to be a father was setting in. He was free.
It wasn't like he didn't like Rachel. He did. A lot. But he was young, and had just been handed a get-out-of-jail-free pass. And he never really officially asked her to be his girlfriend, it just sorta...happened. Before he knew it, he was locked in and it made him panic. He didn't know how to handle it.
When Mr. Schue helped him channel his inner rock star (that was such a kick-ass phrase, thanks Mr. Schue) the feeling of freedom was intoxicating. He started to notice the cheerleaders that glanced at him sideways from under their lashes, come-hither smiles on their pretty faces. Rachel's smiling face and willing shoulder turned smothering instead of comforting.
He began hanging out more with his old friends, "forgetting" plans he had with Rachel. It bothered him, just a little (ok, more than a little) but he stuffed his reservations deep down inside and managed to keep her placated with late night phone calls and "it'll never happen again"s. Blowing off their dates once or twice turned into a regular thing, and when she showed up with her relationship calendars something inside him shifted. He couldn't stop the words from coming out.
"I don't think I want to be your boyfriend anymore."
The memory of her hurt and crying face stayed with him for a long time. But it wasn't enough to overcome the relief of being free.
Set after Bad Reputation, this one-shot is all about the fallout between Rachel and the boys in her life. Written from alternating viewpoints of Jesse, Finn, Rachel and even Puck Eclipse is a wonderful piece of writing by tjcrowfoot that provides a different ending to our favorite couple. (Tagged semi-AU for the alternate ending)