TLHB(ch5) Verwirrt: Part 2
Okay, I’ve only written up to chapter 6, so I only have one more chapter to upload after this one. And this is where it all goes down.
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Verwirrt pt 1 // Part 6
I couldn't move. I currently couldn't remember anything. I guess being in what felt like a sedative induced coma was the easiest part. I tried opening my eyes, but I swear they were glued shut. Not that being able to open them any wider than just half an inch would help in any way; I could barely see anything. Everything hurt, and in that moment all I knew was pain. I guess the second thing on my mind was my friends. It pained to think, but still I tried pushing though the intense feeling in my head so I could try and remember what the fuck happened. Nothing. I suppose you can imagine being asleep years on end, and finally coming to consciousness is what I felt like. I couldn't imagine this feeling getting any worse, but I was dead wrong. The feeling of suffocation came, and suddenly I didn't have the strength to properly breathe. It was received as an almost impossible task. It became too much to even try and keep myself awake, but I didn't mind much because I still didn't know anything that was going on. I gave in and let my mind become clouded with a thick fog, much like the one which was preventing me from seeing, as I fell into a deep sleep. I don't know how much time had passed. It could have been a day, it could have been a few minutes or hours. I didn't know any of that, but I felt myself come to, and this time it was much easier. I laid there for a while, contemplating rather I should just open my eyes or not. I guess I would have to sooner or later, and this feeling in the pit of my stomach was starting to bother my numb mind.
My sight was flooded with light beyond bright. Try blinding. Once my eyes adjusted to their surroundings, I could actually fucking make out what things were. It appeared I was in a mostly empty, white and light yellow room with little furniture, and ugly brown curtains. I was laying on a large bed, and I had various needles jabbing into my arm, importing unknown liquids into my body. Other than the occasional "beep", which sounded much like a heart monitor, everything was silent. Well, great. Figuring out you're in such an ugly room with a bunch of needles and tubes going into your arm and finding out you're alone in here was probably the most unsettling feeling I've ever felt. I tried my hardest, but it was difficult to keep a level head. I barely had enough strength, but somehow I managed to roll my head to the side. Oh. Familiar and colorful tattoos came into vision. My surroundings were still a little unclear, but those patterns were unmistakable. There sat Catherine fucking Dunest beside this huge bed, with her eyes closed. Okay, I guess I feel a little better, but still slightly scared. I thought about it for a minute, and threw in various attempts, but I came to find it was impossible to talk or get her attention. I hope she didn't just fall asleep because if so, I could be laying here for quite some time. Luckily, Catherine soon shifted in her chair, lazily opening her eyes. With a groan, she rubbed her face and stared blankly at the white tile on the floor. I couldn't talk, but I did manage to clear my throat a tiny bit. She immediately looked over at me, showing concern and worry. "Hey, Luke," She spoke gently. My eyes trailed over her face, noticing there were bags under her eyes and she was slightly paler. Her hair was oily, missing the usual shine it held, and she had bruises covering the arm that lacked tattoos. How comforting.
I tried forcing my words out, but it proved to be difficult. "Don't worry about not saying anything," Her eyes remained directly on mine. There was a slight waver in her voice before she quickly glanced away. There must really be something wrong. "I know what you're going to ask anyway. You're at the hospital, Luke. We all are." She finished. I felt a slight increase in my heart rate, and the beeping on the moniter quickened. Feeling lightheaded was the last thing I needed right now. The way Catherine was looking at me told me there was something else. Her eyes were shiny and bloodshot. She must have not slept much last night. The one question I had though was why was she here? I mean sure she's Ashtons girlfriend and all, but she usually never comes to shows when we're in town. "I'm going to be back, okay? I have to check on something." She whispered before quickly bolting out of the room. Now I just felt helpless. I couldn't move, talk or barely breathe on my own. What the fuck was I supposed to do while she was gone?
---
It felt like years before someone entered the room. Although it wasn't anyone I knew, I was still glad there was another person here. He was dressed in scrubs, and had on white latex gloves. I'm assuming he was a doctor or nurse. "Um, excuse me," This was beyond difficult. "Where uh, where is my friend?" "The one with the tattoos? She stepped out a while ago, would you like me to alert her she is wanted?" I slowly nodded, trying to keep my suddenly tired eyes open. Catherine walked in and closed the door. "Luke," She said in a soothing voice. I'm not sure if she was trying to comfort me or herself at this point. "What.. What happened?" I croaked out. Oops. Looks like that question put a strain on her emotions. She stared at me, then stared at the ground. She looked as if she was trying to choose her words so carefully. Almost like if she made a mistake with what she said something would go terribly wrong. "At the concert... Do you remember anything?" I shook my head. "Something happened, Luke. Ash started playing, then Calum and Michael... But right before you started singing," She took a slight pause, cringing her hands. "We all saw you look up, and your face... You looked scared. I looked up as well and um, I saw something really weird. I screamed and started running towards Ashton. I came to surprise him. As soon as he saw me there was what seemed.. Err, Catherine and I shared glances, and she showed an expression I'd never quite seen before. She actually looked scared. "And then you just stared. Stared at everything coming down, and you just remained frozen. It was almost like you wanted to see it all. To just feel the pain of everyone around you, inhaling all of the fumes. And then part of the set... Just came falling down, taking you with it." Her voice started shaking, showing signs of fear. But that look..That fucking look. She wasn't telling me everything, and I knew it. This was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.. I could feel the oncoming dizziness, and pure confusion. My brain hurt. I was exhausted, and trying to process what the HELL I have just been told. It didn't help though, because all of that was interrupted by the sleep which took over me again.
Agony blazed through my body like a wild fire. So many things raced through my head, and so many images of old memories flashed before my eyes. This was ridiculous, not to mention insane. When would I be able to get up?? Walk around? Not to fucking mention I kept passing out every fucking 30 minutes. I opened my eyes, and my vision was met with other faces staring back at me. Ashton... Michael.. When I saw the third face though, I felt my stomach drop and my blood ran cold. What the fuck was Ella doing here? When our eyes met, I began feeling the guilt all at once. She shyly looked at me, but forced her eyes away from mine. "Where's Catherine?" I wondered aloud. Ella was the first to speak up, sounding frail and scared, "In the hall... She said she, well um, needed some air." I showed her I acknowledged what she had spoken, and turned my attention to Ashton and Michael. "What the hell happened to me?" I needed more of an explanation. More than the half truth Cat told me. Ashtons hazel-like eyes wandered around the room. His face was met with a contrast of apprehension. Michaels face remained the same; emotionless. I don't think I've ever seen him quite so pensive. "There was a large explosion at the stadium. Things ascended in flames, but you just stood there watching it all. I kept screaming your name, but you just wouldn't respond. It was like you were in shock or something," Ashton paused, blinking away a few stray tears. He sucked in a weak breath, beginning again. "Michael grabbed my arm, and we made our way out the back emergency exit..." I looked to Michael, and saw him now struggling to keep himself together. Ashtons eyes became vast and lifeless, and silence struck him. "And?? What about Calum? Catherine? How'd they manage to get out? If I was in such shock, how did I even manage to get out??" I demanded. "Calum," I could tell as soon as Michael began speaking, he regretted it. "Calum is still in the ICU. He didn't make it out. The fuckin' short shit went, and could have gotten himself killed." I believe I misheard what I have just been informed of. "What?" Was all I managed to force out. Now I felt like I was the one who needed the more intensive care; I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. "Calum, um," Ashton bit his lip, staring me dead on. "Calum might not make it."
Breathe. Breathing is important right now. That, and deciding what question I should ask next. My line of vision flickered over to Ella who was standing at the foot of the bed, lightly holding her stomach. Oh God... Please, no.. "Don't ask me how. Don't ask, because I'm not sure how this happened. Catherine got you out of there, barely alive. You weren't breathing, your heart rate was low, and there was blood everywhere. We didn't even find the two of you until we were already here. She said she got help and carried you." I looked back to Michael and raised an eyebrow. She carried me? That girl carried me? I don't see how she could've. I mean she's strong and all, but still small. I don't think she could have carried me. "Do you know anything? How the explosion happened?" "No," Ashton breathed. "The cause is unknown, but I was listening to the doctors talking, and apparently there have been over 12 dozen people rushed, and care flighted to this hospital due to similar criteria." I could hear the nervousness in his voice. It looked like it struck him to his very core. "Thats strange yeah, but I doubt that any of those had to do with what happened... I'm sure it's just a coincidence." I'm also sure I just said that to reassure myself.
"Are the fans okay?" I dared ask. I guess I wasn't prepared for the answer. "600 deaths." Came the response from Ash. I nodded, pursing my lips. Tears threatened, but I didn't bother stop them. "I see." I whispered. "You need to rest," I looked to the my right and saw Catherine standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. "Come on guys, we should give him some space, time to breathe." Catherine had no true expression, just a blank face and flat sounding tone. She looked dead inside. I wondered how Calum and I were the only ones who seemed to be seriously injured, but I suppose that was a question for later. The guys began their way out of the room, leaving a heavy feeling hanging in the air. "I need to talk to you." A small voice requested. Ella turned to look at Catherine, silently commuting that she leave the two of us alone. "What do you want, Ella?" I had no desire to be speaking to her right now. I wanted as far away as possible. Her mere presence was becoming a bit overwhelming right now. "It's yours," She murmured. "Ours." Wait... What? She and I remained silent for a second, letting the feeling of fear settle in. This couldn't be happening. It really couldn't be. Is this what she was trying to tell me when she said I love you for the first time? I looked into those sweet eyes, and watched the teardrops stream down her pretty face. I couldn't do relationships, and I knew that, but I'd never cheat on her. That is why I had to break up with her. I simply couldn't let it go on any longer. Especially not ever since I caught her with somebody else and decided to take her back. Every time I looked at her, I could truly see who she is now. A child? Me being a father? I extended my arm towards her guilt stained face, and wiped away those tiny drops. I know I've been with her for a very long time, but... Nothing was the same. Nothing would EVER be the same; who knew? Who knew we'd ever grow up, and look back at our younger selves questioning why. God knows we didn't. "I think you need to leave..." I quietly stated. Ella stared at me, struck with pain as tears now flooded from her eyes. She began backing up, her eyes looking like they were loosing the previous color. "I love you."
And that's exactly what I hated about her. The unsureness she made me feel when she said those three words.
