#to get laid

[starjumpingpanda]

Next week?

Also, Naked Time must come before they all look like they've been half buried by a building? Or does that plan go the same way as their first date? 🤔

[leedawut]

dmc 3 dante smirking (at y/n what have you)

[jerzwriter]

HEY MOST RECENT NONNY

GET BENT! (AKA eff off)

I'd say have a good day, but I honestly don't mean it.

[naughtydogg]

okayyyy srsly, if my parents keep demanding what I want for my bday….. i’m going to say it 😤

[honey--bat]

Feeling better!!! Hopefully my going out on the fcuking town doesn’t kill me!!!!

[ruthlesslistener]

Honestly that innocence test is kinda pissing me off bc I 100% would be down for all the sexy shit in there, but I'm stuck in the very weirdly specific niche of being an aromantic autistic trans guy who has no idea how to get over the awkward social part of courtship to get to the actual fucking and has no desire to make a fool of myself to find out. So its less innocence thats factored into it and more pride

[damnprussia]

Terms of Surrender

@donausoblau

A very well-packaged box arrived on Roderich’s desk one morning in late September. On the outside, it was very unremarkable, but the inside had a very carefully-folded uniform and a letter. It was written in calligraphic ink in a style of writing that nowadays, was only seen in museums.

As if they were at war, Gilbert was negotiating a ‘terms of surrender’ over the disputed administration of Schleswig-Holstein. The Kingdom of Prussia was accepting “unconditional surrender” against the “overwhelming force of Austria and her allies”.

This “meeting” would take place at Roderich’s home address - not nearly as impressive as the Belvedere palace in Vienna, but Gilbert received several angry messages when he inquired about renting various rooms for ‘culturally significant re-enactment events’. Somehow, telling them that he was a member of the Prussian Heritage Foundation did not help this matter.

He also dated it for a significant date - 26 October 2018 in the late afternoon. Of course, the actual war had ended in July, but they were already throwing historical accuracy out the window.

(He also knew he couldn’t make it too early in the morning, as these things are oft to happen. He was dealing primarily with Roderich, after all.)

It was signed with Gilbert’s historic signature, and sealed with a wax seal from the House of Hohenzollern.

Beneath it, wrapped in brown paper, was Austria’s uniform from the forementioned war - fully restored to nearly-new condition. Any bloodstains were cleaned professionally, and rips or tears had been stitched and renewed. Boots had been cleaned and polished.

On the very special day, there was no phone call from Gilbert as he usually did when a birthday rolled around. In fact, there was no communication at all, until the late afternoon.

A white horse, decorated in Prussian military colours, could be heard very gently trotting down the street towards the home of Roderich Edelstein. Nobody knew where the damned horse had come from - certainly not the two people walking their dog who passed the strange sight. But Gilbert rode tall atop the horse, dressed in full mid-1800s Prussian regalia, as he had long ago. 

The only historically inaccurate bit were his headphones in his ears. The music he listened to drowned out the ghost of Otto von Bismarck, who was probably repeatedly telling him that this was perhaps the most shameful thing he could have ever do, ever.

(At this point, Gilbert was a professional at engineering his own crippling loss, so he didn’t need any more encouragement, really.)

Stopping in the yard, he announced his presence via obnoxious horn, to a few bars of “Bohemian Rhapsody”, simply because that was what was playing in his ears in that moment, He never was actually the one to play the horn back during these times, so he was improvising.

Queen was silenced for now, to comfort him at a later time, and his phone was put away. The horse was tied up, saddle was loosened, and she was given a lot of oats for being a good sport.

With a firm wave to Roderich’s neighbour, who was staring out the window incredulously from the display, Gilbert approached the house to announce his arrival.