rory had always wanted a fairytale romance - her own very cinderella story - since a young age. that's what happens when you share a name with a fictional princess. none of the boys growing up were her type of guy, or if they were they proved themselves to be not so spectacular and she really wasn't all that crazy about dating in high school. then along came anton and he took a sledgehammer to her believes and desires about love and reduced them to a pile of dust (not to mention a few more things) - after that she swore off guys, or at least dating them in a serious fashion. sure, she went on a first date once in a while but there was the new nagging voice in the back of her head that told her no. it may seem silly but some part of rory's brain was then used to being extra protective and defensive when it came to love and her heart. SO. for years rory had a crush on toby, it was inevitable because just look at him, but she had always said in her mind that it was just a silly crush. and if there ever was an inkling where she thought it might be stronger than that she quickly brushed it off and thought about something else. rory didn't even want to admit it to herself that she liked him in that way, because of everything in her past and his reputation at the time. of course, toby slowly started to prove her judgments wrong and slowly she started letting her walls come down. the moment when she realized she loved him was after the hollywood harlet debacle with toby & irina. at first she was just angry and pissed off and slightly sad about the whole ordeal because of his promise at christmas - but she realized why she was so upset about everything. because honestly if she didn't love him then why should/would she be so mad? once it started to sink that she might actually love him, she was 1) more upset about the whole harlot thing and 2) somewhat excited and slightly scared; but only slightly scared. she didn't want another outcome like her last relationship so she kept tight-lipped about it for a while. WOW THAT WAS WORD VOMIT. i sorry.