#tone is everything

[bb27ho]

Matt and Angela being nice nasty to each other

[incorrectdmp]

Murder God: Someone will die.

Thorin: Of fun!

Juniper: Aww.

*Three years later*

Charlie: Someone will die.

Ozolthog: Of fun!

Juniper: Suddenly this is no longer reassuring.

[mbrainspaz]

horse: doesn't let me put blanket on.

me: (sweetly) "Idiot. I hate you. You share one brain cell with the mustangs. Absolute moron. Tomorrow you're for the purina mill"

horse: lets me put blanket on.

me: (sweetly) "Best babey. You're so good. I knew we were besties."

[ratfriends]

all right that’s it this is the fuckn funniest thing anyone has said in succession

[horse-st]

apparently the medicaid cuts from bbb dont actually take effect until AFTER the midterms. so if the dems want to use the issue in the midterms, they have to make it sound like the sky is falling when it hasn't happened quite yet, which is not an argument which convinces the voters whom they need to convince. it'll be labeled "derangement syndrome" or other such slurs for fem-coded hysteria, meaning it convinces 0 relevant voters

[its-all-down-hill]

Philosophy Goat Says…

Allowing strangers on the internet to control your mind is a form of self-destruction. If they don’t feed you, fuck you, or finance you, they don’t deserve space in your head.

Remember that no matter what you post on your social media some ‘know it all’ will ALWAYS come along to comment on it in order to feel a sense of self validation.

Whether it is a smart ass comment meant to “correct you”, a correction of your grammar, or a snide remark, don’t let them bother you. Instead, feel sorry for the commenter. Imagine how small they must feel in their real life if they are triggered by every little thing on the net and feel the need to seek validation by attempting to make others feel less worthy.

[suriel]

one of our newest employees is a self-declared people-pleaser and I have to keep telling her that the people that call our office are NOT our clients and are therefore NOT the ones she needs to please

like pumpkin, these callers are vendors, they are the adversary, you are setting the entirely WRONG expectation when you are NON-ROBOTIC

we have been INSTRUCTED to be emotionless and you are RUINING IT FOR US

I get Johnny Vendor after you've been nice to him and I have to tell him that yes, he really does owe this money, and he acts like I've taken away the blowjob you hinted at when you sounded like I would FIX THE THING. I will NOT fix the thing, and now he's screaming at ME.

EXPECTATIONS: SET THEM UP FRONT.

[enjoytheshowandotherbs]

Tone Is Everything

The sign above the window says: THIS PERFORMANCE. The person wanders over. I smile and ask, “Picking up?” 

These are some of the responses I have received:

“Where can I pick up tickets I’ve already paid for?”

“Where’s the Will Call window?”

“I bought my tickets online... Where do I pick those up?”

“No, I’m pretty sure I already bought tickets...”

“No, I’m exchanging my tickets. These are the cancelled ones...” (To which I can only respond, “So you would like to pick up the new ones?”)

Now, maybe people just can’t hear me. Maybe there’s a lot of noise in the lobby. Maybe they’re getting older, and slowly losing their hearing (and/or grip on reality). But I’m pretty sure most of them are just not listening. I’m pretty sure I could ask literally anything, including making gibberish sounds, and as long as I said it in a relatively pleasant voice, their response would be the same. 

Once we establish that they are indeed picking up tickets, my next question is, “Last name?” Here are some of the response I have received to this difficult inquiry:

“Where’s the Will Call?”

“I have seats reserved for This Performance.”

“My seats are in Row G.”

“No, I already paid for them.”

“My confirmation number is 806543234213523423442...”

Don’t get me wrong, the confirmation number and the seat location are good things to know. And we can look up your tickets using either of those pieces of information. But the reason I ask for your last name is because the tickets for This Performance are already printed out and alphabetized by last name and sitting on a rack which is mounted to the wall. If you give me your last name, I use this fun thing called THE ALPHABET to find your tickets and hand them to you.

I can look up your tickets in our computer system using the confirmation number, but all I’m going to do is use that to find out what name your tickets are under, so I can find them on the rack. I can also navigate to the map for This Performance, hold my mouse over the location you give me, and find out what name those tickets are booked under - so I can find them on the rack. Bottom line: If you give me different information than the information I ask for, you are adding steps to the process, making it more difficult.

And then there are the folks who don’t know their last names. They are the BEST! But that’s a whole different post. The point of this one is, I’m pretty sure I could conduct the following conversation at my window on any given day:

Me: “Engle snort?”

Customer: “I need to pick up tickets. Can you help me?”

Me: “Mostly billy. Sheep fur?”

Customer: “It should be under Tubman. Or it might be under Beecher. Or Stowe. Or if you can’t find it under Beecher or Stowe, it might be under Harriet. Oh, actually, no, I used my friend’s discount, so actually, it’s under George.”

Me: “Fraggle rock?”

Customer: “No, sorry, George is the first name... The last name is either Washington or Carver, or maybe it’s hyphenated? But the seats are somewhere in the orchestra, if that helps? And they were bought with a veteran discount?”

Me: (Handing customer the tickets I have managed to find, little-to-no-thanks to them.) “Violins sing. Ginger cream stay!”

Customer: “Thanks!”

As long as I smiled and spoke in a pleasant tone, they would not notice a difference.