TOO CONFIDENT - alfie buttle
context: drinking on an empty stomach while also meeting your boyfriends friends is not a good idea… or is it?
notes: i lowkey hate this
Spring in the UK had finally decided to behave itself; blue skies, soft breeze, and just enough sun to make everything glow without turning it into a sweaty mess. You stood outside the pub garden, fingers nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of your top, trying to ignore the way your stomach twisted.
You hadn’t eaten.
Not properly, anyway. A few sips of water this morning didn’t count, but nerves had completely wiped your appetite. And now… now it was too late to fix that. Beside you, Alfie nudged your shoulder gently.
“Hey,” he said, smiling down at you, soft and reassuring. “They’re literally just people. Slightly more annoying people, but still.”
You huffed a tiny laugh. “That doesn’t help.”
“It should. You deal with me, don’t you?”
“That’s barely surviving.”
He grinned, clearly pleased with himself, and slipped his hand into yours. “You’ll be fine. And if they scare you, I’ll fight them.”
“You would not.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” he admitted immediately. “But I’d strongly consider it.”
That earned a real laugh from you - brief, but enough to loosen the knot in your chest. He squeezed your hand once more before guiding you through the gate into the beer garden.
You were immediately faced with noise. Laughter, overlapping conversations, someone loudly arguing about something ridiculous.
A long table was filled with Alfies friends, plus their girlfriends; Calfreezy, Harry, Chip and Sabina, George and Yasmin, Arthur, Italian Bach and Liv.
Meanwhile, you felt like you’d just walked into somewhere you don’t belong. Alfie noticed instantly. His thumb brushed over your knuckles. “Stay with me, yeah?”
You nodded.
“Oi!” Calfreezy called, spotting you both. “He’s brought her! Everyone act normal!”
“No chance,” Harry added. “Too late for that.”
There was a ripple of laughter, but it wasn’t mean, it was warm, welcoming in a chaotic way. Still, your nerves didn’t fully settle.
Introductions blurred together- names, smiles, quick jokes. You did your best, nodding, replying, hoping you didn’t look as anxious as you felt.
Then Alfie handed you a drink.
“Just something light,” he said. “Might help you relax.” You didn’t even think about it.
Big mistake.
At first, it was fine.
You sat tucked slightly into Alfie’s side, listening more than speaking, slowly sipping your drink. The conversation bounced all over the place-stories, jokes, teasing and gradually, you started to feel… warmer. Looser.
Like the volume of your thoughts had been turned down.
So you took another sip.
And another.
And then it hit. Fast.
Way too fast.
“Wait—WAIT,” you suddenly said, sitting up straighter, pointing at Harry. “Say that again.”
Harry blinked. “What?”
“That thing you just said. About the pigeon.”
“I didn’t say anything about a pige-”
“You implied it.”
The table went quiet for a second. Then burst into laughter.
Alfie turned to you slowly. “You alright?”
You looked at him with complete seriousness. “I understand everything now.”
“That’s… concerning.”
“I’ve unlocked social skills,” you announced proudly.
“Oh no,” Alfie muttered.
Ten minutes later, you were the centre of the table. Not intentionally it just… happened.
You were telling a story. Loudly. With dramatic hand gestures. At one point you stood up to demonstrate something that absolutely did not require standing.
“And THEN-” you said, nearly knocking over your drink, “he had the AUDACITY-”
Calfreezy was doubled over laughing.
Even Chip had put his phone down, which honestly said everything.
“You’re joking,” Harry wheezed. “She’s funnier than Alfie.”
“That’s not hard,” you shot back instantly.
The table erupted again.
Alfie stared at you, somewhere between horrified and impressed. “Who are you?”
“I am me,” you said confidently.
“You’re never this confident.”
“You’re holding me back,” you accused.
“I am absolutely not-”
“You are. Emotionally.”
Bach was practically falling out of his chair laughing. “Alfie, she’s brilliant, mate. What have you been feeding her?”
“Apparently nothing,” Alfie said, narrowing his eyes at you. “Wait… have you eaten today?”
You froze.
“…define eaten.”
“Oh my-” He dragged a hand down his face. “You’re drunk on an empty stomach.”
“I prefer the term efficient.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
It only got worse. Or better—depending on who you asked. You started rating everyone at the table based on completely random criteria;
“Arthur, you’ve got strong ‘forgets his keys but blames the door’ energy.”
“That’s oddly accurate,” Arthur admitted.
“Chip,” you continued, squinting at him, “you look like you know where the best snacks are at all times.”
“That’s just true,” Chip shrugged.
“And Alfie-” Alfie braced himself.
“You’re… alright.”
The table howled.
“ALRIGHT?” Alfie repeated. “That’s what I get?”
“You’re lucky I like you.”
“You like me?”
“Don’t push it.”
Eventually, Alfie had enough.
Not because you were embarrassing-honestly, everyone adored you-but because you were very clearly gone.
You nearly tripped over nothing.
You tried to sip from an empty glass.
At one point, you leaned over and whispered (very loudly), “I think your friends like me.”
“They love you,” he said. “Too much. You’re never living this down.”
“Good.”
“Not good for me.”
He stood up, gently pulling you with him.
“Alright, that’s us,” he announced.
“Awhhh,” came the chorus from the table.
“Bring her back,” George added.
“Yeah,” Harry said. “But feed her first next time.”
“Definitely feed her,” Calfreezy agreed.
Alfie shook his head, laughing despite himself. “Noted.”
You waved dramatically. “Goodbye, my fans!”
“You’re not famous!” Alfie whispered harshly as he guided you away.
“I am in my heart.”
The walk home was… slow. You leaned heavily into him, your energy finally dipping.
“You didn’t tell me you hadn’t eaten,” he said.
“I forgot.”
“You don’t forget food.”
“I was nervous,” you admitted, quieter now. He softened immediately.His arm wrapped more securely around you.
“You did great today though”
“I embarrassed you.”
“You absolutely did,” he said. “But they love you. I love you.”
You smiled sleepily. “Good.”
“Next time,” he added, “you’re having a full meal before we go anywhere.”
“Bossy.”
You tilted your head onto his shoulder. “Still like me?” He glanced down at you, amused.
“Yeah,” he said. “Even when you’re calling me ‘alright’ in front of everyone.”
You grinned.
“Alright is generous, actually.”
“Okay, that’s it,” he laughed. “We’re getting you home before you say anything worse.”
“Too late,” you mumbled. “I’ve peaked.”
He shook his head, smiling the whole way back. And honestly? He couldn’t wait to tell that story forever.
