Do atheists bury their dead? Why? ... clearly there is something immaterial to be celebrated there, a spirit (?), when the dead are being cared for and respected in any way.
Yet I myself might be the most atheist person in any given room, I turned my back on religion after some of my family got killed, and that is a stone hard place of atheism to be in. Yet I have seen a sprite, I've seen it with eyes in flesh, I recall this memory daily, often, I'm lucky in the sense I've seen what many only ponder, so that means I may still be argued back into atheism because it requires no faith to see something material. It becomes an odd atheist argument to argue that at times, in odd situations, the spiritual becomes material. I have a bridge here, I'm the hardest core atheist you will meet yet I have knowledge of the spiritual, beyond just faith which is what Christians ask for.
Can a spirituality be based on knowledge and still validly call itself a spirituality?....
Sometimes I feel like being too nice of a person with no desire to be mean or rude to people can be such an inconvenience. But at the same time, I don’t understand how people think being mean or rude is so easy. I can’t do it, despite all the shit I go through in life, I can’t be a mean person. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Why I Think Crosshair’s “Bland” Personality Was Intended
SPOILERS (duh)
I did not spend nearly an hour writing this what the kriff is wrong with me
Honestly, the interactions with Wrecker and Tech made my day. They had a lot of great jests that just made me smile. Not only that, but Omega and Hunter were adorable. I’ve always thought of Hunter as a ‘big bro’ type, so I’m excited to see more. ALSO little Caleb Dume and Wrecker were ADORABLE. I wish it lasted longer. Please Disney, I’m beginning you, give us a short about how they met and what they did before they came back.
NOW ON TO THE MEAT OF THIS POST ....
So we have Crosshair. To say I was disappointed in him is the least. I expected to see a little more brotherly interactions, but he was really cold the whole time. Maybe it’s just lazy on the creators’ part, but hear me out (in the case that it’s actually intentional?)
What if his chip malfunctioned?
Kaminoan (Nala Se I think?): CT-9904′s genetic mutations have altered much of his cranial activity including his inhibitor chip.
Tarkin: Yet he exhibited loyalty to the Empire blah blah blah
Kaminoan (Nala Se I think): While the chip is not as active as a standard clone’s, the order does appear to be working
Okay, so Cross’s mutations have altered his inhibitor chip. What if that’s the reason he was so focused on “good soldiers follow orders”? He’s been talking about it all episode, so what if the reason why is because the chip malfunctioned?
Sure, it’s not enough for him to full-out lose all of his conscious thought, but it’s enough to make him WANT to follow what he’s been told to follow. We see him begin with following orders as soon as Order 66 is issued. Before that, he was actually quite neutral, just hanging back.
Later on, near the end of the episode, Crosshair sits down in the cell and holds his head as if he’s having a migraine or something. Remember when Rex tried battling the orders? He too had a headache as well. WHAT IF THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO CROSSHAIR??
I also noticed that he didn’t even try to push Omega’s hand away from his shoulder. That’s saying something if you ask me, especially since he and the rest of the boys always saw themselves as outsiders (reminder the food fight?).
Omega: You’re angry.
Cross: How perceptive.
Omega: I know what you’re going to do. But please don’t.
Cross: What do you know?
Omega: I know it’s not your fault. You can’t help it.
He doesn’t move her hand away. Why? BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE’S RIGHT. Not only that, but when the shock troopers came to take him away and Hunter said ‘oh no, no, no, we stay together’ before taking a full on hit to the gut, what does Cross do? He takes one look at his brothers and realises it’s not worth putting them all at risk.
So he goes. That’s his true personality showing. Then, as he walks away, what’s the expression on his face filled with? Conflict.
Even Tech pointed it out earlier: “I never thought you disobeying orders was a problem”.
What if he was thinking about what he’s done and why? Maybe he was confused himself, wondering why he’s so set on following orders.
You see where I’m going with this? He’s trying to figure out what thoughts are his and what are not because he’s under the influence of the inhibitor chip (which later goes into full-blown effect during the procedure).
Maybe I’m being too hopeful that there are more layers, maybe I’m just so fixed on the idea that these boys would never betray each other for something as stupid as following orders.
But to conclude, I think Crosshair’s under the influence of the inhibitor chip, and that’s the reason why he seems so bland. What I’m saying is that it was intended to show us how the inhibitor chip messes with the personality/behaviour a Clone.
I rest my case. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, and may the Fourth be with you.
who out here gonna comfort sqq thru the trauma he unwittingly experienced & call him out for his desperate need to repress & ignore despite others being able to tell that he rly isn’t coping! like ‘oh i’m fine’ no bitch ur not, u haven’t eaten, u claim ur tired all the time but we all know that’s an excuse to lay in bed bc u can’t handle the thought of doing anything BUT that. ur guilt crowds u & the people around u are proof of the wounds u’ve left & the way u just don’t get how ur not a knife but a healing salve, either way u won’t ever tell ANYONE that u feel like ur very being is detrimental despite all the self sacrifice uve offered in return to give those around u a better chance at happiness.
yeah........ he do NOT be coping, he do NOT be thinking bc if he even thinks for a MOMENT over the ppl he’s killed or the lives that were lost as a result of his “stupidity” (bc ofc he has to be the omniprescent one who knows everything even tho the world around him subsequently changed due to his warm hearted decisions, so it’s HIS fault through it all & he will always carry this burden bc he feels the need to control things that he simply Can’t) then he just crashes & he can’t crash! not in front of his fellow peak lords or sh.ang qi.ngh.ua or lu.o bi.ng.he or his disciples bc then what would that show? what would “weakness” (asking for help he desperately needs) show????
and let’s not get into the fact that he’s so used to being helpless, he can’t stand it. his old body was proof of that & so he had to lock himself away bc he was so tired of being seen as anything less than just for an illness he never asked to receive! why should that happen again? and why should he feel so deeply abt these things when he could just ignore them desperately as he always has bc it hurts too much to feel so strongly abt it all when denial & distance have always been a familiar comfort & have rarely failed (if he’s distant, ppl can’t get hurt, he can’t get hurt, nothing wrong can happen, an endless chain cycle of people pleasing & control & situation / dilemma fixing & anxiety & thru it all loneliness)
yeah....... yeah he just. he ain’t coping, not ONCE has he coped and very rarely does he allow himself to cry & simply feel so like hey-
BC IM DERANGED AND SPAMMED MY FUCKIG TAGS ILL PUT THEM ALL UNDER A READ MORE
"... i kept thinking nonsensical thoughts- thoughts of my own death and what comes afterwards. And if there's such thing as an afterlife, I'm absolutely sure that you and i will belong to different places. And if that's the case, i would spend an eternity missing you."
i wrote a poem on a plane today, my hands were shaking earlier while i was holding a cup and it... made me think lmao
this is ‘uncertainty’
----------
i have been shaking as of late.
it’s not from fear, though there
is plenty of that to go around.
no, it is a tremor.
the lightest of earthquakes
rocking beneath my skin.
it makes me feel unhinged.
like i’m not as put-together
as i’d like to believe.
it tells me there are cracks
in my foundations - grinding,
scraping against each other so
slowly i wouldn’t know it
until i held something.
my hands shake
and i am left with the fear that
my body is a world
threatening to break -
but there is nothing i can do.
you can’t fix an earthquake.
