#torimono fic

[hawks-flat-ass]

“Well, well, well. Look what the wind blew in.” The warm baritone had the cadence of someone who had practiced sounding delighted until it became indistinguishable from the real thing. It filled the room without raising in volume, projected from the diaphragm, modulated for warmth, and designed to make the listener feel like the most important person in the world. Hawks knew that voice. He knew it at a cellular level, in the part of his nervous system that processed threats before the conscious mind caught up. Run.

FIC METADATA: Rating: explicit | Pairing: Hawks/m!OC | Genres: slow burn, angst, drama, kitchen | Series Placement: 3/8 | Word Count: 64,172 | Chapters: 8/??? (est 101)  CONTENT WARNINGS: Aftercare (Sex), Angst, Anxiety, Body Shame, Casual Cruelty, Casual Homophobia, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), Dissociation, Dubios Consent (non-graphci) Dysmorphia, Emotional Invalidation, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Feral Behavior, Guilt, Grooming Tactics, Heteromorph Dynamics (Avian/FauxAvian), Implied Past Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Shame, Marginalization, Mental Health Issues, Microaggressions, Moral Conditioning, Neural Shutdown, Panic, Power Imbalance, Predatory Dynamics, Racial Coding/Microaggressions, Sensory Overload, Self-Worth Issues, Social Anxiety, Social Isolation, Toxic Family Dynamics, Toxic Friendships, Transactional Sex, Virginity (and loss of), Wing Worship

鳥物 (TORIMONO): Dal (M) → READ HERE

[hawks-flat-ass]

Realizing...

I did not post an update for Blackbird. Whoops.

Chapter 8 of TORIMONO will probably be done before I've edited and uploaded chapter 7. Double whoops.

[hawks-flat-ass]

Around him, the city continued to move in its natural chaos as the street continued to narrow. Laundry hung from balconies above, dripping water onto the pavement. He stepped around the wet spots without looking down. An older man swept his storefront, the broom scratching steadily against the concrete. The man glanced up as he passed. Kaskel nodded once, a shallow but polite acknowledgment. The man looked away. A delivery scooter cut across an intersection. Two schoolgirls in matching blazers shared earbuds and bobbed their heads to something he couldn’t hear. A tarp was being pulled off a rack of discounted produce, revealing a pyramid of carefully arranged persimmons. The world is normal. You are not. The thought arrived as they tended to do—unbidden and unwelcome. Kaskel let it sit. He examined it with the same brief, dispassionate consideration he had for the persimmons, and moved on.

FIC METADATA: Rating: explicit | Pairing: Hawks/m!OC | Genres: slow burn, angst, drama, kitchen | Series Placement: 3/8 | Word Count: 57,173 | Chapters: 7/??? (est 101) CONTENT WARNINGS: Aftercare (Sex), Angst, Anxiety, Body Shame, Casual Cruelty, Casual Homophobia, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), Dissociation, Dysmorphia, Emotional Invalidation, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Feral Behavior, Guilt, Grooming Tactics, Heteromorph Dynamics (Avian/FauxAvian), Implied Past Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Shame, Marginalization, Mental Health Issues, Microaggressions, Mildly Dubious Consent, Moral Conditioning, Neural Shutdown, Panic, Power Imbalance, Predatory Dynamics, Racial Coding/Microaggressions, Sensory Overload, Self-Worth Issues, Social Anxiety, Social Isolation, Toxic Family Dynamics, Toxic Friendships, Transactional Sex, Virginity (and loss of), Wing Worship

鳥物 (TORIMONO): cuLLorBLIND (T) → READ HERE

AUTHOR NOTE: Holy hell, chapter 7 pushed the fic over 50k. At the current average and the original chapter count estimate, this fic would end at 5,700,000 words. And that doesn’t include the sequels and the companion pieces. That chapter count is also inaccurate, based on an original 10k zero draft, where *this* version of chapters 7 and 8 was *just one chapter*, and the Flare series was only three chapters (it ended up being 17 in the fast drafts, ranging between 2,000 and 5,000 words each).

[hawks-flat-ass]

@lura-valentine took the heart I made for my TORIMONO banner and gave it cardiac function. Sharing because it’s adorable and perfect and I love it so much. 🥰

[hawks-flat-ass]

“You’re not paying anything!” Hawks snapped. “I’m owing everything!” Kaskel fired back. “I can’t accept charity without a price tag. It’s how I stay alive.” The static in Kaskel’s head was becoming hot. His wings lurched against his spine, feathers rustling before he forced them to smooth. Hawks stared at him and let the mask slip. He looked tired. Exhausted to the very core of his being from carrying a weight that no man should have to bear alone. “You don’t understand,” Hawks said, tone soft and almost pleading. “This isn’t charity. It’s—” “What?” Kaskel pushed. “Investment? Insurance? You buy a pub, so now you own me?” “No,” Hawks shook his head. “It’s because you’re brilliant. You saw the waste. You saw the burnout before I even walked in. Do you have any idea how rare that is?” “It doesn’t matter.” “It matters to me!”

CONTENT WARNINGS: Aftercare (Sex), Angst, Anxiety, Body Shame, Casual Cruelty, Casual Homophobia, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), Dissociation, Dysmorphia, Emotional Invalidation, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Feral Behavior, Guilt, Grooming Tactics, Heteromorph Dynamics (Avian/FauxAvian), Implied Past Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Shame, Marginalization, Mental Health Issues, Microaggressions, Mildly Dubious Consent, Moral Conditioning, Neural Shutdown, Panic, Power Imbalance, Predatory Dynamics, Racial Coding/Microaggressions, Sensory Overload, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Social Isolation, Toxic Family Dynamics, Toxic Friendships, Transactional Sex, Virginity (and loss of), Wing Worship

鳥物 (TORIMONO): Sober (T) → READ HERE

[hawks-flat-ass]

11,500 words is a lot to edit when you’ve got two hours a night to work on it, and you’re already working on the new chapter the other two hours you have set aside, and everything else is booked solid on your calendar. Oh! Damn, when did that get to 12,000? Fuck me...

[hawks-flat-ass]

Hawks couldn’t move. The Hero instinct was hardwired. Check the pulse, secure the perimeter, assess the threat. But human instinct was different. And it screamed something much heavier: you did this. The kid was a disadvantaged heteromorph. He wore a two-year-old limited-run tank top like it was precious. Walking out now wouldn’t just be ending the night and walking away from a transactional hookup. It would be leaving someone who had never been given a fair shot and turning his back on the exact kind of person he’d sworn his entire miserable, manufactured life to protect. If he did that, then all the double shifts, the PR smiles, and the things he did off the books meant nothing. For all the Commission had carved out of him, that part they couldn’t kill. “Goddamn it,” Hawks hissed, running both hands through his hair, then back down his face. “This can’t be happening.”

CONTENT WARNINGS: Aftercare (Sex), Angst, Anxiety, Body Shame, Casual Cruelty, Casual Homophobia, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), Dissociation, Dysmorphia, Emotional Invalidation, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Feral Behavior, Guilt, Grooming Tactics, Heteromorph Dynamics (Avian/FauxAvian), Implied Past Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Shame, Marginalization, Mental Health Issues, Microaggressions, Mildly Dubious Consent, Moral Conditioning, Neural Shutdown, Panic, Power Imbalance, Predatory Dynamics, Racial Coding/Microaggressions, Sensory Overload, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Social Isolation, Toxic Family Dynamics, Toxic Friendships, Transactional Sex, Virginity (and loss of), Wing Worship

鳥物 (TORIMONO): Fallout (M) → READ HERE

A/N: NGL, this has been up for a few days; I’ve just been extra busy. This maaaay be a Blackbird week. We’ll see.

[hawks-flat-ass]

Kaskel immediately misinterpreted the pause. The cotton-ball numbness in his ears had dissolved just enough in the cool-down for his foster mother’s poison to reach the surface. A sickness. A deformity. Discordant. Improper. He felt a hot, searing wave of humiliation rush from his chest to the tips of his ears. He tried to snap his wings shut; to fold the shameful, sensitive white down back into the dark where it belonged. It was bad enough to offer it. But to a hero? And a man, no less. “Oh, no, you don’t,” Hawks grunted. Before the feathered limbs could lock against Kaskel’s spine, Hawks dropped his weight. His chest pressed firmly against Kaskel’s while his hands slid out to grip the muscular leading edges of both wings. He didn’t squeeze; he applied pressure to press them flat against the glossy bar top and keep them wide. Forcing Kaskel to stay exposed and utterly surrendered. “I need you to let go of that shame,” Hawks commanded in a low, authoritative tone. “Look at me, Kas.” Kaskel’s head rolled back against the wood. His ruby eyes were wet and frantic, locking with Hawks’. The loon’s chest started to heave as his breath began to come in shallow gasps. “I’m not…The spots…” Kaskel whimpered, raw and pathetic. “It’s messy. The colors are wrong. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” “Shut up,” Hawks murmured with the fascination that made Kaskel’s mind spin. “You’re not listening to me. Look how the light hits the barbs of your feathers. Look at how dense your down is. You’re an avian. Do you know how rare that is? And you’re treating it like it’s a curse because someone didn’t know how to handle a real bird.”

CONTENT WARNINGS: Anxiety, Body Shame, Casual Cruelty, Casual Homophobia, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), Dissociation, Dysmorphia, Emotional Invalidation, Emotional Manipulation, Feral Behavior, Grooming Tactics, Implied Past Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Shame, Microaggressions, Mildly Dubious Consent, Moral Conditioning, Panic, Power Imbalance, Predatory Dynamics, Racial Coding/Microaggressions, Sensory Overload, Self-Worth Issues, Social Anxiety, Social Isolation, Toxic Family Dynamics, Toxic Friendships, Transactional Sex, Virginity (and loss of), Wing Worship

鳥物 (TORIMONO): Weak and Powerless (E) → READ HERE