#trachmom

[mamashaysaid]

Did my eyebrows.

I can't control anything else in life right now.

My little boo is still sick, we just having a rough holiday this year. 

[mamashaysaid]

Above is the shade of MAC I’m using (It actually MATCHES!) .. you can go to the MAC store, but I don’t have that luxury so I ordered it on Amazon for $35, along with the Prowear Concealer in shade NC35 fo $20.

Hurt like mothafckn shit gahtdam man 🤦🏽‍♀️.... Trying not to cry because my mascara is too expensive to waste. 

[mamashaysaid]

You would never know how much pain I was in. I'll never let them see it .

[mamashaysaid]

Fighting for Zaza💔

[mamashaysaid]

My Spirit Animal🦁

[mamashaysaid]

Since Zaza is recovering, I am learning how to take time out for me away from the hospital. Cleaning her space, cleaning mine, listening to music, going for walks by myself to process all of this. Without guilt, without feeling like I'm supposed to be anywhere else. The hardest thing is doing for you while someone you love isn't feeling 100% their best, but I don't know how else I'm going to take care of what is to come without putting my mental health first.

[mamashaysaid]

It's been a long day.

Zaza had her tracheostomy procedure today. Her dad didn't show. My mom was the only one there. My dad flew in a few days prior to wish us well and had to go back home bc of work.

It was a long, daunting day.

She's alive and that's everything to be grateful for.

As far as our family, we will have to access that later. I've received a lot of bad news lately and I can only tackle one fucked-up-thing at a time.

For now, I have peace that Zaza will wake up tomorrow stronger than she was yesterday & stronger than today.