mate how do you specifically deal with transmascs who hate transmascs? ive seen a few on your oage. the "im a trans man and yes trans men actually do hold male privilege. trans men should be included in KAM bc trans men are men and men are the fkn worst." my tiktok page is filled with self-hating trans men who want to take that out on other trans men and i think theyre going to make me go grey early.
Honestly I tend to just... not factor identities in when I’m responding to stuff like that? There’s a big difference between discussing experiences and discussing opinions, and I think that identities have a lot more relevance in the former than the latter.
A trans man knows what they’ve experienced, and their voice is important in that conversation. It deserves to be heard. It also doesn’t really extend beyond that individual; if they’re weaponizing their experiences against other trans men, you can try to check that by broadening their knowledge of other trans men’s experiences. Everyone’s voices deserve to be heard in that conversation, and if we’re listening to their voice, they need to listen to other people’s voices, too.
If we’re talking about opinions, I just don’t think that someone’s identity makes their opinion inherently More Correct. One trans man does not hold the entire community’s experiences. If they choose to ignore other trans men’s voices, the opinions they form as a result are likely going to be more ignorant and harmful than a cis person who does choose to listen to as many trans men as they can.
I block, delete, and (rarely) engage with people like that on pretty much the same basis regardless of their identity. An opinion is a choice; I don’t really need to care why a random internet stranger has made that choice. If it’s a shitty choice, it’s still shitty coming from someone who should know better.
I don’t really know if that’s helpful; I know there’s definitely a different emotional impact when this stuff comes from trans men who should know better versus just, like, ignorant cis people. There’s a lot of complicated feelings of hurt and betrayal there, and, at least personally, I feel a lot of sympathy for them. I know they’re speaking out of self-hate, and I know that hurts, and I wish they didn’t have to feel that. But that’s how I figure out how to respond to it outwardly, at least.
Good luck man, it’s tough. But you’re doing really good work 💙
