#trans!alec

[alias-anythinguplease]

au where adam raczek goes to broadchurch on vacation To Be Alone™ but things happen

diff background + no (white) background bc im indecisive idk:

[abstractfanboy]

I forgot that trans!alec is a headcanon, like HOW IS IT NOT REAL

[officialmaleclibrary]

do y'all know any trans alec fics? that are preferably written by a trans author but yeah

This fic is by a trans author:

the history behind the name alexander by skylarisafail (PG13 | 1/1 | 4,082) 

his name was one that fit him wrong, too big, too cluttered, too confining and choking. he was all ripped apart at the edges, a self-made king.

–

alec lightwood? a gay trans man? it’s more likely than you think! a story including five scenes and slices of alec lightwood’s life.

We don’t know if this author is trans but they have written a series of trans!alec fics:

drum it all away [SERIES] by oh_la_fraise (Various ratings | 6/? | 37,631)

[slash-fanfic-recs]

Magnus/Alec - drum it all away series

Title: drum it all away series (consisting of six fics)

Author: oh_la_fraise (AO3)

Rating: Explicit (NC-17)

Fandom: Shadowhunters

Word Count: ~37.6k

Warnings: AU, trans!alec, cancer, bottom!alec and bottom!magnus

Summary: Alec forgot about Jace; hell, Alec had forgotten he even had a brother altogether. All he could focus on were Magnus’s red, bitten lips wrapped around the straw in his drink.

Comments: This series is beautiful beyond words.  It’s well written, funny and at times very heartwrenching (I cried a lot).  I really love this author’s AU and I will definitely be reading this again!

[officialmaleclibrary]

Dr. Hwang is soft spoken and smiles a lot. He has wrinkles around his eyes, and his coffee mug says world’s best dad. His tie has fish on it. Alec feels a little ridiculous; Dr. Hwang is one of the best oncologists in the state, but Alec can’t stop focusing on his stupid tie. He wants to wrap Magnus in his arms and carry him out of there, find him a real doctor who wears a practical, solid tie instead of something a five year old gave him.

[justnightwingit]

Do You See What I See: Malec Fanfic

Rating: M Word Count: 1628 Summary: In which Alec struggles with being transgender and Magnus is there to help him through the storm. Warnings: Contains heavy discussion of insecurity and gender dysphoria, with some discussion of sex.  Read it on AO3

Sometimes Alec really wished his mind had an off button.

The thoughts kept haunting him, they wouldn't go away. You're not good enough. He deserves a real man. Yeah, he's said he doesn't care and sure, he's lasted for three years. What is a man without three years of sex, Alec? He's going to find someone better eventually, someone who can really fuck him. Someone who has a dick he can hold and a flat chest he can lay on and-

Magnus could tell something was wrong. They'd known each other for five years, had been dating for three. Magnus knows when Alec was at his best and his worst. There weren't secrets between them. Magnus has been asking him for months what was wrong. Alec just shrugs it off and smiles. "I love you," he says instead. Magnus kisses him, and for a moment the thoughts go away.

He needs to tell him though. Magnus needs to know about Alec's insecurities or else they will never move forward.

The way they come out isn't how he planned.

Alec’s never liked bars. They're too crowded and the smell of alcohol and nicotine is everywhere. Magnus doesn't seem to mind them, but Alec knows he'd rather stay home and watch TV. They only went because Clary and Jace were in town and they wanted to see what New York had to offer.

Alec was ordering two soft drinks when he spotted him. Tall, lanky, beard carefully trimmed and hair too gelled. Magnus once told him hair with that much gel should’ve stayed in the fifties. This guy's smirk was dangerous. Alec didn't hide his disgust as the man looked at him.

The man didn't have his eyes on Alec though. He had his eyes set on another man. Jace leaned over and asked Alec, "Who's the dude flirting with Magnus?"

A thousand emotions went through Alec as he saw the man lean closer. Insecurity was the one that hit him hardest.

Alec grabbed the two drinks before going back to their table. He didn't see how Magnus's face lit up as he approached.

"Hey babe," was all Magnus said before Alec's mouth was on his.

Yeah, it might have been a little rude. In that moment Alec didn't care. Kissing meant Magnus couldn't see the hurt expression on Alec's face. He couldn't see the tears threatening to well up in Alec's eyes.

Magnus pulled away slowly. Alec didn't want him to go. "Take me home." He whispered into Magnus's ear. Without question, Magnus sent a quick text to both Jace and Clary and practically dragged Alec out of the bar.

One watching them would've seen two men eager for privacy. Alec couldn't deny this was true, but for different reasons. Yeah, Magnus will never want to have sex with you. Just look at yourself, you're a freak! How he's made it for three years-

Alec didn’t look at Magnus as they got off the subway and walked home.

He held Magnus's hand like his life depended on it.

When the door to their apartment opened, Alec rushed in and locked himself in the bathroom. He sat against the door and heard Magnus put away his shoes and jacket. He put his face in his hands and tried to control his breathing.

The binder always makes it hard to breathe.

He felt pressure against the door and knew Magnus was sitting on the other side. For a minute (hour? Alec didn’t know) everything was silent.

"You don't have to stay here," Alec protested, "I know Dancing with the Stars is on."

"You're much more important than some show." Magnus countered without hesitation.

"You could've stayed at the bar."

"I'd much rather be with you."

"I don't need a babysitter."

"No, you don't." Magnus agreed, "You need someone to sit and listen. If you want, I can go call your sister or Lydia or-"

"Don't leave." God he sounds pathetic.

"I'm not going anywhere." Magnus said with finality.

Everything was silent for a moment. Alec tried to focus on Magnus's breathing instead of the thoughts that haunted him.

"The guy at the bar was okay." Alec tried. He smiled a little when he heard Magnus scoff.

"He wasn't my type," Magnus challenged, and Alec could practically hear his smile. "For one thing, I don't date greasers. I like guys with brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. He should also know his way around a bow, and I don't know what I'd do if he didn't like-"

"Is he also a freak? Does he often get mistaken as a woman? Do you constantly have to explain to your friends that no, it’s not like that, you're just dating a guy who has a vagina?"

"Alec," Magnus interrupted, "where is this coming from?"

Alec couldn't breathe. Suddenly the usually protective restraint on his chest felt one hundred times heavier. Without thinking, he threw it off. He tried to ignore how his breasts shrivelled up in the cold.

"You don't understand," Alec began, "you're not stuck with me. I'm not the only guy around. There is a plethora of people who would die for a change to go out with you. I've seen it, you can't deny it. You don't have to stay with the freak anymore."

"Wait, darling who put these thoughts in your head?" Magnus said frantically. The words only made Alec more irritated.

"I've always had these thoughts! They never go away! There are so many things that I can't give to you. I can't go to the pool without turning heads. I can't go to the bathroom in public. I don't have a flat chest you can lay on. Hell, I can't even have sex with you properly!" Alec screamed.

He heard Magnus stand and try to open the door. He heard another thump and pictured Magnus hitting his head against the door. Alec hoped he wasn't crying. Magnus didn't need to waste any tears on him.

"This is what you've been obsessing over for the past couple of months." It was more of a statement than a question. "Darling you know I love you. What did I do to make you doubt that?"

Alec stood and leaned against the door. He half imagined that it was Magnus's forehead against his instead of wood. "You didn't do anything."

"I don't understand."

Without much thought, Alec opened the door. He watched as Magnus took in his appearance.

This was the first time Magnus had ever seen his chest.

Alec took one of Magnus's hands and put it on his chest, not taking his eyes off of Magnus's. Sometimes he forgets how much of a gentleman Magnus is. His eyes didn’t drop once.

"This is who I am Magnus." Alec declared, "I'm not normal. I don't know if that will ever change. I know we talked about this, but things are different now. If you don't want to be with me anymore now's a good time to say something."

Magnus stayed silent for a moment. For some reason, Alec found it more reassuring than anything. He was content with gazing into Magnus's eyes.

Magnus sighed, leaning forward and wrapping his other arm around Alec's waist. The hand on Alec's chest flexed, and Alec gasped quietly.

"I love you, Alec. I love the way you can take a man out in 30 seconds. I love the way you kiss me goodnight. I love your stubbornness and the way you don't let anyone get away with shit. I. Love. You." Magnus kissed Alec's shoulder with every word. "You’re more of a man than anyone I’ve ever met. You fight for what’s right. You hold the door for the ladies. You’re not afraid to protect what’s yours. I don’t think your body reflects who you are at all.”

Alec closed his eyes and breathed. Magnus held him closer. “And for the record,” he continued, “I don’t care if we ever have sex. I love kissing you and if that takes us further someday, I will be more than willing. If not, that’s okay, because I will never push you to do something you don’t want to.”

Alec started crying, leaving tear stains on Magnus’s shirt. He didn’t realise how much he’d needed to hear this. How much Magnus actually loved him, how he wasn’t a burden. It was almost like with every word spoken, Magnus was repairing months of damage.

Magnus always knew how to put him back together.

That evening, Alec fell asleep on Magnus’s chest without anything telling him not to.

Now, Alec wakes up with Magnus’s unruly hair splayed across his bare chest. He smiled and ran his hand through the soft black hair. Magnus sniffed and moved, his morning erection accidentally brushing against Alec’s thigh.  It doesn’t bother Alec like it used to.

The band around his finger helps Alec chase any thoughts of insecurity away. If Magnus didn’t love him for who he was, he wouldn’t have put a ring on it. Sure, he still has terrible days. Alec cries, screams, throw things, and curses about how unfair the world is. Magnus was always there after the storm. He holds Alec and helps chase the demons away. He won’t leave Alec alone, even when Alec is at his worst.

In return, Alec falls in love with him a little more every day.

“You’re thinking too loud.” Magnus complains, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist. “Go back to sleep.”

“I love you.” Alec whispers, running a hand down Magnus’s back.

“I love you more.” Magnus says into his chest, “Now go back to sleep. We have an appointment tomorrow and you know what coffee does to you.”

The reminder makes Alec’s heart flutter. He can’t wait to see their future child.

[a-shimmy-shammy-shimmy-sham-blog]

here we observe some character planning for the trans!alec au!

A L E X A N D E R - L I G H T W O O D (Alexis, Alec)

Quiet - reserved - studious - caring - loyal - anxious - insomniac

Homosexual transgender (FtM)

Black hair, cyan eyes, pale skin

Twenty-one years of age

No tattoos at the start - gets a tattoo of the semicolon at some point

I S A B E L L E - L I G H T W O O D (Izzy, Iz)

Flashy - loud - proud - sexy - intelligent - skilled

Heterosexual cisgender

Black hair, brown eyes, pale skin

Nineteen years of age

No tattoos

J O H N A T H A N - L  I G H T W O O D (Jace)

Brave - strong - handsome - perfectionist

Heterosexual cisgender

Blonde hair, brown eyes, pale skin

Nineteen years of age

Several tattoos - will list later

[amateurstories]

All Mundane Transgender!Alec Headcanons

I hope these are not too bad! I was writing them all yesterday and today. I did not have my computer all day. Here you go! If you guys have anything you want us to headcanon or write, we love prompts :)

This one written by malecshipper91

Alec has known he was different since he was five

He wears a chest binder and his sister helps him get all the clothes and accessories or anything he needs

His extremely homophobic parents do not know

When he comes out to his sister, she tells him that she has always known

With his siblings' encouragement, Alec gets his shoulder length hair cut

Jace comes to live with the Lightwoods when he is eleven; Alec has already been dressing as a guy

Alec was born a girl; his birth name was Alexandria and he has not had surgery

His parents are rarely home so he does not really have to worry about them seeing

When Alec and Izzy explain Alec's situation as delicately as possible to their youngest brother, he gives them a look that asks “okay and why is this a big deal?” Then, Alec and Izzy share a glance, which leads to a Lightwood sibling group hug

Reason why Alec wears baggy clothes, long-sleeved hoodies, etc.

Alec's self consciousness stems mostly from growing up with major gender dysphoria

Through Jace never says anything, Alec is pretty sure Isabelle told him

Alec does not ever undress in front of anyone. He locks his door when changing and is extremely careful about showering and using the restroom

He hates his body and wants surgery, but his parents and society make it impossible

All his siblings are completely accepting all in their own way

Izzy asks Alec about his sexual orientation and after him stating that he is gay (into guys), she starts trying to set him up

Alec gets really into working out with Jace a ton after one incident where he was called out as a girl

Jace and Izzy being really protective about Alec. They are constantly correcting people who call Alec a she.

Alec is always happier when he is treated like a guy

Alec's siblings all having to be careful when talking to/about him with their parents.

The first time their parents see his hair, they give him a shocked look and never mention it to him again

Alec actually is a really good singer, but he hates his high voice, so he does not sing anymore

Alec hears his dad say Alec looked like a dyke. Many other fights between their parents stem from this.

Alec's siblings continue to be supportive. Max and Isabelle try to set him up on blind dates, because they HAVE to have Max's approval, or “they could be weirdos!”

Jace continues to help Alec with things like working out, clothes, shoes, etc.

Alec gets a small crush on Jace, only because Jace is the only guy who has accepted him and treats him the same

Isabelle asks Alec one time about his binder “but doesn't it hurt?”

Alec stopped talking as much for a while because he hates his “girl voice”

Alec always gets dressed in the bathroom after showers at the Lightwood house

When Alec first meets Magnus he is instantly smitten

After a few months of Magnus and Alec’s spectacular relationship, Isabelle convinces Alec that Magnus needs to know

Alec takes a while to be comfortable to cuddle properly or straddle Magnus

Alec and Magnus are making out, not for the first time, and somehow Alec's shirt is being tugged at, asking for the extra fabric between their hot bodies to disappear

Alec stops and removes Magnus; soft hand from his shirt . He tugs his shirt back down fully and takes a deep breath.

He moves away from Magnus and looks down at his own hands

After some hesitation, Alec looks at his boyfriend, who was looking at him in utter confusion

“Magnus, I am so sorry. I- I have to tell you something.”

“I don't know how to say this and I don't know how y-you are going to t-take it... but you deserve to know because I love you.”

After Alec explains the best he can, Magnus simply smiles his smile of absolute adoration, takes Alec's shaking hands in his own, and says, “Alexander, it doesn’t matter to me what gender you are. I love you for who you are, not for your genitalia. Thank you for telling me, darling.”

Alec throws his arms around the taller man and whispers, “How did I get so lucky? I love you so much, Mags.”

Something Magnus will never tell his love is that he knew all along.

After Magnus and Alec have been together for eight months, Alec tells Magnus he is ready to try some of the sexual stuff, if he still wants to

Magnus simply replies with a cool demeanor, “Are you sure? I don't want to push you to do anything to make you comfortable.”

Alec replies, “I love you, Magnus, and I trust you to stop if I need  you to.” He cuddles closer to the other man and presses a quick kiss to his mouth.

Their sexual relationship goes slowly and is very progressive. It starts with Alec starting to talk his shirt off, but never his binder. It gets more and more sexual as time passes

Alec only wants to bottom and of course Magnus understands

It takes Alec a little over two years to be completely comfortable being totally naked in from of Magnus

After they have been together a year, Alec moves in with Magnus

Magnus lets Alec fully set the pace of their relationship. He lets Alec be the more dominant one in their sexual relationship. He doesn't want to accidentally go too far or touch Alec in the wrong places

It takes Alec fourteen months of Magnus and him being together to finally feel comfortable enough in the least to take off his binder

Alec's siblings and Magnus convincing Alec to come out to his parents

They are not accepting of it, but that is okay because all Alec needs at this point are his siblings and the love of his life