hello darling! im the person who sent in the request for you green thumbs imagine! i love it to death and I even printed it out so I can read it whenever I don't have my phone on me hehehe
i was wondering if you could do an imagine for seb with a trans mc? (ftm) I came out to my mom as trans today and it did not go well at all, I'm very emotionally distraught it and some hurt/comfort from my favourite slytherin would really help me feel better <333
Phoenix Feather (Sebastian Sallow x trans!MC)
Tags: Short (1.6k), Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out to friends
I admit reading your ask had me sitting speechless for a hot minute. I'm incredibly flattered that you like my writing and even more that you would trust me with such a personal request (especially as someone who, full disclosure, doesn't have any practical experience writing trans characters or who doesn't even usually write Sebby content, for that matter) so that had me setting the bar just a little higher for myself than I usually do!
So after dropping all of my other stuff to do a lot of research, writing, research, rewriting, banging my head against a wall and rewriting again, I hope I produced something that does you justice. Again, this is all new territory for me, so any misconceptions are mine and mine alone.
On a more personal note, please know that you're loved and that you have a right to live your life authentically. Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it. 🖤
The platform slowly slides into view behind the window of the carriage. Sebastian turns to look at Arden, his gaze soft and comforting as he asks: “Are you ready?”
Arden nods, even though part of him feels he will never be ready. He’s nervous, about the questions, about what his friends will say. He knows he will be all right in the end, especially with Sebastian at his side, but he hasn’t been able to shake off the feelings of doubt, clinging to him like a shadow ever since he made the decision to go back to Hogwarts.
He feels the gentle touch of Sebastian’s fingers on his hand, grounding him. “There is nothing to fear. I will be with you all the way, do you understand?”
“Yes,” Arden says hoarsely. He skips a beat before asking, “What do you suppose they’ll say?”
“I don’t know,” Sebastian admits. It’s one of the things Arden appreciates most about the Slytherin; he never shies away from telling him the truth, uncomfortable as it may be. “I‘ll wager most of them won’t think of you any differently. They’ll have questions, as I did, but eventually they will see that you’re the same friend they said their goodbyes to a few months ago. And if they don’t… well, then they’re not deserving of your friendship anyway.”
At last, the carriage comes to a halt, sending a small shock through them. Arden hears the excited chatter coming from the platform, students meeting each other again after the long summer break. It’s like nothing has changed and everything has changed, all at the same time.
He looks up when Sebastian offers his hand to him. “Let’s go introduce ourselves again, shall we?”
The first person he reintroduces himself to is Ominis. He feels uneasy when he approaches the Gaunt boy; despite his blindness, he’s always felt like Ominis is able to see right through him, and now he has that feeling more than ever. Still, there’s nothing but kindness in his voice when he politely shakes his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Arden. Allow me to… offer you my best wishes in this new chapter of your life.”
“Thank you, Ominis,” Arden says, feeling a weight fall off his shoulders. He struggles for a moment as he thinks of what to say next. Then, he says, “I would very much like to continue to be your friend.”
Ominis inclines his head. “And I would be honoured to continue to be yours.”
They speak for a little while longer before saying their goodbyes. Sebastian turns to him when they leave. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“It wasn’t,” Arden admits. “You told him about me, didn’t you?”
“I might have mentioned some details during our correspondence over the summer. Not on purpose, though – he simply wanted to know how you were faring.”
“I should have suspected as much.” Arden chuckles. “He’s a good friend.”
“That he is.” Sebastian nods.
As they proceed to meet more people, however, they find once again that rumours travel fast at Hogwarts. Natty gives him a bracelet adorned with a spectrum of beads – a gift her mother had given her after she completed her animagus training. Each bead symbolises both continuity and change, courage and inner strength, she says, and Arden is at a loss for words when she hugs him. Meanwhile, Poppy timidly presents him with a Phoenix feather, a gesture that doesn’t require an explanation. Arden accepts the gift with tears in his eyes and vows to treasure it forever.
Not everyone is as understanding, or at least not at first. Garreth’s ignorant comment about Polyjuice Potion earns him a snarky retort from Sebastian – is there even anything underneath all that hair, Weasley? But when he realises his mistake, the Gryffindor’s face goes as red as his hair and he quickly apologises. Amit, on the other hand, has a lot of questions but is genuinely curious, and Arden does his best to answer them all. Even the people he feared telling the most react with nonchalance at worst. Imelda simply shrugs when he introduces himself again. She’s pleased that he finally feels comfortable in his own skin, but he should know that she will still beat him on a broom any day.
As the day draws to an end, Arden feels a mix of relief and doubt. He can’t deny reintroducing himself to his friends wasn’t as difficult as he expected it to be, yet his sense of unease lingers, and he can’t help but notice it has something to do with Sebastian – feeling it whenever he catches his gaze, the Slytherin flashing him that once-irresistible boyish grin. He finds himself in need of a place to think, a lot. When he gets the chance to slip away from Sebastian’s watchful eye, he quietly disappears into the shadows. The darkness embraces him like an old friend as he wanders, his mind consumed with thoughts. He tries to piece together his jumbled emotions, trying to understand why he feels so conflicted. Is it guilt? Shame? Regret? Fear?
He doesn’t know. He wishes he knows. Eventually, he finds the familiar door on the seventh-floor corridor of the Astronomy Tower, taking a deep breath as he steps inside.
It doesn’t take long for Sebastian to notice that Arden has slipped away. He quickly starts looking everywhere, from the Undercroft to the Quidditch pitch, but it doesn’t occur to him to check the Room of Requirement until the very last moment. He spots Arden immediately as he enters; he’s sitting on one of the sofas in front of the grass vivarium, staring at the red feather in his hands. He looks up as Sebastian comes running towards him and quickly wipes out his misty eyes. “Oh, hello, Sebastian.”
“Arden, what’s wrong?” he asks with concern. “Was it something someone said? Just give me their names and I –”
“No, no, it’s not that,” Arden said. He sighs, turning the feather in his palms. He struggles to put his feelings into words, his thoughts eluding them like they’re not his own. “Today went better than I could have ever hoped for. In retrospect, I’m not even sure what I was so afraid of. Everyone’s been so kind, and understanding…”
“Well, of course.” Sebastian sits down next to him. “They know you. Why would they think of you as any different from what they did before?”
Arden looks up at him now, fresh tears welling in his eyes. “I don't know,” he says. “But I’m afraid, Sebastian. The truth is that I still don’t know what this means, for me, and you. Spending time with you and having you beside me… is one of the few things that’s ever really made sense in my life. And even if you’ve been nothing but supportive so far, I can’t help but ask myself these questions… what if you change your mind about me? What if you feel I’m no longer the person you fell in love with?”
A silence falls between them. Sebastian is thinking, his face caught in a frown. After what feels like an eternity, he takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what I can say to put your mind at ease,” he confesses. “But I can tell you what matters to me. Do you remember what you told me that night you ran away from home and came knocking on our door in Feldcroft?”
Arden thinks for a moment. “I… I’m not certain –”
“I am. You told me you’d felt trapped all of your life, and that was the night you had finally decided to set yourself free. And the truth was that I did see a different person in that moment. I saw someone who, for the first time in their life, was in complete peace with their mind and body, like a mask had fallen away from their face. I’ll admit it did feel as if I was meeting a new person – as if I was only getting to know the true you then.”
He takes one of Arden’s hands and lovingly cups his cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “I’m glad you found your happiness. And if you really think that I care for you so little that any of this would ever make any difference to me, you’re only fooling yourself. I want to be there for you –” he closes Arden’s palm around the Phoenix feather “– in this new life, right next to you.”
Arden doesn’t respond immediately. He just sits there, trying to keep himself from crying. And failing miserably at it, as he starts choking up and leans forward in the Slytherin’s warm embrace. Sebastian says nothing as he holds him, gently rubbing his back until he’s composed himself enough to be able to speak again.
“Sebastian…” he says, his voice finally breaking from the emotion and fatigue, “thank you.”
“Just close your eyes,” he answered. “I will still be here when you open them again.”
Arden did as he said, wrapping himself into Sebastian’s arms. Clutching the Phoenix feather in his hand, he drifts off into a dreamless slumber. And for the first time in what feels like ages, he finally feels whole, as though he were precisely where he was meant to be.
