Safe and Seen || Dennis Whitaker x trans guy! reader
Summary: after losing a patient, Dennis helps you overcome the heartache
Warnings/contains: takes place on/around season two, reader works in pediatrics (though it isn't specified if his job is as a doctor or a nurse), canon typical mentions of hospital procedures and such, some angst as reader deals with a patient's death and has something similar to a mental breakdown because of it (said patient was also a child on top of that), there might be some medical inaccuracies here as I'm not a healthcare worker nor am I an expert on the subject matter, hurt/comfort, mild swearing, intimate comfort kissing
Beginning notes: this is actually something that was requested via dm by someone who's friends with the wonderful heartbroken anon! the requester asked to remain anonymous, so I'm respecting their wishes and privacy by not tagging them here. dear requester, I hope I was able to write this to your liking <3
Losing a patient was always difficult, but it was worse when that patient was a child, and harder still when the cause of death was something that could've been prevented if caught in time. You knew this better than anyone due to working in pediatrics.
Don't let it be mistaken, you loved your job and the position you were in. Only people with the most gentle and softest of touches yet the strongest of wills could handle taking care of sick children. But sometimes it just got to be too much, even for you.
That day hurt more than others, because this patient in particular had been one that you saw yourself in and therefore bonded with because of it. The things that you'd enjoyed growing up, they did, too; you had the same kind of interests and hobbies, and you even noticed sharing similar mannerisms with one another. It was as if you were looking in a mirror that showed your younger self staring back at you, which made you ten times more determined to save them.
But it would seem as though fate had other plans. While the disease they had was typically treatable, and even came with a known cure, their case was far too advanced for them to be saved, even with taking medication and antibiotics. Breaking the news was one of the worst things you'd ever done, but you knew you couldn't break down, you couldn't cry, you couldn't show just how much it hurt. Not in front of the patient. You had to be strong for them. After all, they were only a child.
While they might not have picked up on your quiet despair, someone else did. Dennis noticed that there was a slight dim to the sparkle in your eyes, and you weren't quite as cheery as usual. With patients, you were just as soft and gentle, just as professional, just as kind, not letting on the pain and hurt you felt. He could see it, though.
He saw past the curtain you'd drawn tight in hopes of keeping out those who might peek in on your deep-rooted agony, saw the way your hands would shake when smoothing out a patient's bedsheets or when handing them a small cup of pills. And he saw, more than anyone, the pure torture that was in your eyes as you tried to make that one special patient's last few days more comfortable. It was like watching the start of a dam beginning to break, knowing that it would happen eventually but being unsure of exactly when that was.
And then, it did. He knew it from the sobs drifting through the shut door, from the long, steady beep coming from the monitors, and from you: quietly excusing yourself, exiting the room so the family could grieve in peace, while you disappeared to do a little grieving of your own.
Dennis simply stood there for a moment or so, unsure of what to do. He didn't want to intrude, but it was obvious just how badly this was taking a toll on you, and you didn't deserve to go through it alone. Before he could change his mind, he took off after you, heading in the same direction he saw you go after leaving the patient's room.
You were in the stairwell, sitting a little way down the steps. Your own broken cries echoed in the area, bouncing off the walls and coming back again like a cruel mockery of your pain. In your hands, you held a small stuff bear--though perhaps "held" wasn't the right word for it, as you seemed to be torn between cradling it carefully and clutching it as tightly as you could.
"Hey," Dennis spoke up, keeping his voice low and gentle as he approached, not wanting to startle you. When you looked up at him, his heart just about broke. Your eyes were all watery, damp streaks on your face from your tears catching in the light.
"It- it looks like mine," your voice caught when you spoke up, bottom lip trembling and fresh tears spilling down your cheeks as you held up the bear with a shaking hand. "Th- the bear. I- I had one just- just like it, when I was a k- kid."
He carefully stepped closer and sat down next to you, leaving enough space between your bodies to allow you to have some breathing room. "Oh, yeah?" He watched as you reached out and slowly, almost tenderly, brushed away the bear's messy curls from its eyes so it could "see", your hand then moving upwards to gently pet it on the head.
"Th- they wanted me to have it," you said in a hushed whisper, closing your eyes and hugging the bear against your chest. "M- me. Like- like I'm special, or- or something like that."
"Hey, hey-" Dennis scooted a bit closer to you, brow pinched together in a look of concern at your obvious distress. "You are special. Do you really think anyone else would've been able to bond with them the same way you did? Would've been able to understand their jokes, and references, and make them feel safe?"
"But I didn't keep them safe," you protested, tone turning bitter as your voice twisted with contempt, the venom there being turned inward on yourself. "Th- they died, Dennis. They're gone."
"And you made their last days as comfortable as you could," he countered firmly, not having it. "You made them feel seen, and cared for. You gave them what others wouldn't have been able to: a genuine connection, one that I'm sure they were incredibly grateful to have, even with everything else that was going on." He reached a hand out and tentatively rested it on your shoulder, voice growing softer and more soothing now. "Do you have any idea just how much they must've loved you, to give you that?" He nodded to the bear in your arms, still hugged close. Its button eyes seemed to stare up at you with a gaze that said "don't worry, I'm here. I'll watch over you like I did them. I'm yours to keep safe now".
You let out a shaky breath, letting his words wash over you. It felt like being swept out of a raging whirlpool of hurt before getting wrapped up in a warm and cozy blanket of love. "Thank you," you mumbled after a moment or so, your previously uneven and labored breathing returning to normal as you opened your eyes. "You have no idea how much better I feel now."
"Of course," Dennis muttered while lightly squeezing your shoulder, his hand then dropping down to your back so he could give comforting rubs to the area. "I know this hurts. It hurts like hell. But just imagine how loved they must've felt, having you there to take care of them. No one else would've been able to do that. Not like you."
Sniffling, you nodded and moved closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder as you melted further underneath his touch. "Yeah," came your reply, filled with a quiet acceptance and resignation over everything you'd been through. What was done, was done. There was no changing it. The only thing you could do now is move forward.
You lifted your gaze upwards to the doctor sitting next to you, taking in his warm eyes and gentle smile. You didn't even realize you were leaning in until his breath began to mingle with yours, fanning against your cheek.
His hand tightened on your scrubs where it remained on your back, though the rest of him didn't move. He stayed very, very still, wanting to give you complete control over the situation. He knew that you needed it right now more than ever.
When your lips finally touched his, you moved slowly, making the kiss long and deep. A certain kind of intimacy resided there, the one that came from two souls intermingling with a deeper understanding of one another. You couldn't be sure how long the kiss lasted for, only that it was exactly what you needed.
"Stay with me tonight?" You asked hopefully, a hand creeping along the shirt portion of his scrubs so your fingers could clutch onto the fabric. "We don't have to do anything beyond kissing, I just- I really need someone there."
"Don't worry," Dennis murmured in a low and reassuring voice, his own hand moving to rest on top of yours. "I'll be there with you. I'll stay as long as you need me."
For the first time in days, you finally felt as though you were at peace. He was right, you had connected with that kid in ways that others probably wouldn't have been able to. You'd made them feel safe with your presence and seen with your actions.
But now, it was the other way around. He was doing the same for you, and you couldn't have been more grateful.
End notes: there's nothing in here that explicitly states the reader's gender as I wasn't quite sure how to add that in to a fic like this one but the reader is a trans guy nonetheless per the request I was given!
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❛ In which you undergo a profoundly personal transformation with the support of your doting boyfriend, Jongseob.
𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐛 + trans boy reader ೯ ( 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 )
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6k 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 6 mins
꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ Definitely at the very top of my favorite pieces I've worked on, it was so incredibly self-indulgent (I'm masc non-binary, for context). Am I the only one who gets insane gender envy whenever I look at him? Anyway, this piece was requested by my wonderful 🩷 Anon! Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated! Requests are currently open! Enjoy! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Established relationship, Y/N recently came out as a trans guy, Jongseob cuts your hair, non-sexual partial nudity, Jongseob helps you put on your new trans-tape, mentions of anxiety and relief, extremely soft fluff.
Your formerly long hair lies scattered on the bathroom floor, a silent testament to the transformative act that has just taken place. The once familiar cascade of locks is now a mere memory, replaced by a new, lighter version of yourself. Your gaze meets the mirror, and you are confronted with an image that is almost foreign yet curiously comforting. There is something soothing about the new reflection, a symbol of change and renewal that resonates deeply within you.
Jongseob stands behind you, his presence a steady anchor amidst the sea of change. His eyes are soft with a mixture of care and concentration as his fingers navigate through your wet hair. He holds a pair of scissors with a gentle grip, every snip measured and deliberate. The usual meticulousness he brings to everything is evident in the way he trims your hair, his subtle anxiety betraying his desire for perfection. It’s clear he wants this moment to be as perfect for you as it is significant, his love and attention to detail blending seamlessly into his every movement.
On your bed, the brand new roll of trans tape he’d ordered online sits untouched in its packaging. It is a tangible reminder of the heartfelt surprise Jongseob prepared for you after you confided your greatest secret to him. The gesture, though seemingly small, carries a weight of emotional significance—a symbol of his unwavering support and the deep bond you both share. It is a testament to his understanding and acceptance, a touching affirmation of his commitment to stand by you through every step of your journey.
As Jongseob finishes the impromptu haircut, a grin spreads across his face, reflecting in the mirror. His hands gently scrunch up your freshly cut hair, molding it into soft curls that will dry into a new shape. The satisfaction in his expression is palpable, his pride in the results evident as he admires his handiwork. The moment is imbued with a sense of shared triumph and intimacy, a celebration of not just a physical transformation but the deepening of your relationship—a bond that has grown stronger through vulnerability and trust.
“What do you think?” Jongseob asks, his voice floating in from a realm that feels almost distant compared to the whirlwind of emotions you are experiencing. The question hangs in the air, mingling with the sound of your pounding heart, which feels as though it might escape from your chest at any moment. The change in your appearance, marked by the dramatic reduction in your hair's length, has an almost liberating effect. It feels as though a heavy burden has been lifted, replaced by a newfound lightness and freedom.
As you turn to face Jongseob, your face lights up with a smile that seems to stretch wider than you ever thought possible. It’s a genuine, unrestrained expression of joy and relief, radiating across your features with an intensity that is both beautiful and profound. The act of hugging Jongseob tightly becomes a physical manifestation of the immense gratitude and affection you feel for him. It’s a silent thank you wrapped in the warmth of your embrace, a way of conveying the depth of your emotional release and the significance of his support.
In that tight hug, you find solace and a shared moment of triumph, your new look symbolizing not just a change in appearance but a step towards embracing a truer version of yourself. Jongseob’s presence, so close and reassuring, anchors you in this moment of personal victory, making it all the more meaningful. The joy and relief you feel are mirrored in the closeness of your embrace, a tender affirmation of the bond that strengthens with each shared experience.
The remnants of your once long hair lie scattered across the bathroom tiles, a silent testament to the transformation that has just taken place. As you peel off your shirt, revealing your bare torso, you feel a sense of liberation. The act of shedding your clothes, like the shedding of your hair, symbolizes a deeper release, an embrace of your truest self.
Jongseob is absorbed in the task of unwrapping the trans tape, his voice a soothing murmur as he explains the proper way to use it. His words flow continuously, a gentle reminder of his care and dedication, but your focus drifts with each step he takes closer to you. The proximity of his presence is comforting, though it makes it hard to concentrate on anything but the fluttering emotions within you.
Every now and then, Jongseob steals a kiss on your cheeks and jaw, each touch tender and affectionate. The gentle press of his lips against your skin makes you giggle, the sound light and joyful. He carefully tapes the fabric onto your chest, his movements deliberate and attentive. You watch him through the full-length mirror you own, observing the way his expressions shift with concentration and care.
By the time Jongseob finishes his task, you are overwhelmed by a surge of emotion. The euphoric difference the tape makes is almost too much to contain, and you find yourself pushing back tears. The sight of your new appearance, paired with Jongseob’s loving attention, brings an intense wave of relief and happiness. The emotional weight of the moment is palpable, a mixture of joy and gratitude that touches the core of your being.
“You look so handsome,” Jongseob whispers into your ear, his breath warm and intimate against your skin. He stands behind you, his arms encircling your waist in a loving embrace. As you catch glimpses of him through the mirror, his eyes are alight with a depth of love and admiration that makes your heart flutter uncontrollably. The intensity of his gaze and the sincerity of his words make it impossible for you to maintain eye contact, and you find yourself looking away, overwhelmed by a soaring sense of joy.
Without waiting for a response, Jongseob moves towards your bed, where your carefully chosen outfit lies neatly. He picks up your brand new shirt with a sense of purpose, his movements smooth and deliberate. As he helps you put it on, the sight of your chest appearing flatter and more aligned with your true self fills you with an overwhelming emotion. The change is profound, and the reality of it tugs at your heartstrings, causing tears to well up uncontrollably.
Jongseob holds you close, his words a gentle, repetitive murmur that reassures you of his pride and admiration. “I’m so proud of you,” he repeats, each phrase infused with genuine affection. As he kisses the side of your head repeatedly, the touch of his lips is both soothing and affirming, reinforcing the bond you share and the significance of the moment. His tender embrace and heartfelt praise become a sanctuary, enveloping you in a cocoon of love and validation as you navigate the depth of your emotions.
As you finish dressing, you find yourself captivated by your new, masculine appearance. The reflection in the mirror reveals a transformation that feels both affirming and exhilarating. Your gaze is interrupted when Jongseob excuses himself into the bathroom, carrying his familiar backpack filled with spare clothes. The wait feels interminable, each minute stretching into what feels like an hour as anticipation builds.
When Jongseob finally emerges, the sight before you brings tears to your eyes all over again. His long blond hair has been styled into whimsical space-buns, adding a touch of playful charm to his look. He’s applied white mascara and a hint of blush, enhancing his features with a subtle yet striking glow. The pink sunglasses perched on his nose add a splash of color and fun. He wears a black and white striped sweater, its distressed holes lending it a well-loved, worn feel. Completing the ensemble is a long, flowy black skirt that swirls gracefully with each movement.
Jongseob’s grin is a mixture of excitement and nervousness, a reflection of his own emotional journey. As you take in his transformed appearance, you feel an overwhelming surge of affection and admiration. You rush to embrace him tightly, the hug conveying a depth of emotion that words alone cannot capture. “You look so beautiful,” you tell him, your voice filled with heartfelt sincerity.
His cheeks flush with a rosy blush at your compliment, the effect of your words visibly touching him. The warmth of his blush and the radiance of his smile combine to create a moment of shared joy and mutual admiration. The connection between you is palpable, the exchange of affirmations deepening the bond you share and celebrating the beauty of each other's true selves.
With both of you ready, you set out for a nearby park, the anticipation of the evening adding a lightness to your steps. The park, bathed in the golden hues of the setting sun, provides a picturesque backdrop for your picnic. You find a cozy spot on the grass, spreading out your blanket and settling in.
As you begin to enjoy the picnic, the conversation flows effortlessly between you. There’s a natural ease in your dialogue, a comfortable rhythm that makes the moments feel both intimate and joyous. The simple pleasure of feeding each other blueberries becomes a delightful ritual, the small, sweet bursts of flavor adding to the sense of shared contentment.
The sun dips lower on the horizon, casting a warm, amber glow over the park. The soft light reflects off Jongseob’s face, highlighting his features with a gentle radiance. Each laugh and smile is amplified by the serene setting, the beauty of the moment enriched by the perfect harmony of your company and the tranquil surroundings.
꒰ 🏷️ ꒱ ミ My permanent taglist is open! (Click on the link to join! All you have to do is answer a few questions to help me stay organized!)
🍉 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE! DAILY CLICKS! STAYBLR FUNDRAISER!
"Dad…" You approached him carefully. This was a difficult situation and you have no fucking clue how to even begin. But getting his attention seemed like the first logical step.
“Yeah pumpkin?” He asked, letting the file he was holding drop onto the table, closing it. You looked at your hands anxiously, picking at your nails and the skin around it. Your eyes flicked up for a moment, meeting your father’s concerned gaze, “What’s wrong?”
“I need to tell you something…”
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, leaning forward, “You can tell me anything,” He reassured, “No matter what it is I will always accept you.”
You nodded, stepping forward and sitting on the chair next to him. “I-” You paused, swallowing heavily and taking a deep breath. “I want you to know that this isn’t a rash decision, or a phase, I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I came to this conclusion a few months ago but wanted to see how I felt.”
Aaron gave you a small smile, he wasn’t sure what to say, he didn’t want to risk interrupting you and causing you to backtrack on what you were trying to tell him, but he equally didn’t want to say nothing and leave you feeling unheard. After all, you were nearly sixteen, he wanted you to know that you could freely express yourself. Seeing you pause, he nodded, “Go on,” He encouraged softly.
“I think- No, I am transgender,” You said quietly, you risked a small glance at your father, unsure as to how he was going to react. “A-as I said, this is something I’ve known for quite a while but wasn’t sure how to express,”
“What would you like to be called? Would you want to change your name? - Some people who are trans keep their name, either way, I support your decision.” Aaron asked, you looked up at your dad with a smile.
“I have a few in mind, I wrote them out. But I wanted your help to decide, if that’s okay?” He gave you a smile, pulling you into his side.
“Of course that’s okay,” He said, “What pronouns do you want to use?”
“He, him,”
Aaron grinned, “I have two sons,” He said, “Now, let’s see that list of yours,” You nodded, pulling out your phone and going into the notes app, selecting the right one, you presented it to him. Aaron nodded encouragingly, “I think these are great names,” He said.
“Which one’s your favourite?” You asked.
“I think I like (Y/N) the most,” He answered after a moment and you nodded immediately.
“Okay, I think that one’s my favourite too!” You said, smiling so wide your cheeks hurt. “(Y/N) Hotchner.”
“Sounds perfect,” Your dad grinned, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Now, we’ve got the name, the pronouns, is there anything else you’d like to change?”
“I think a haircut would be good…” You said softly, you didn’t want to take the pee, or come across as forceful, but you really did want to cut your hair, “And maybe some new clothes?”
Aaron nodded, “Okay, well, tomorrow is Saturday, perhaps, if you wanted, we could do those things?” He gave a small smile when you immediately nodded.
“How should I tell Jack?” You asked softly. “Do you think he’d be okay with it? And when should I tell him?”
“I think he’s always wanted a little brother and we can tell him after dinner, if you’d like,” He said, you nodded again. “And, when you’re ready and if you want to, we can tell the school about this as well, get everything formally changed there too,”
“Yes, please!” You said before groaning, “I cannot deal with Mr Donalds calling me Miss Hotchner again,” Aaron gave a laugh as he shook his head.
“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” When you shook his head, he continued, “Alright, then go do your homework - I get an email every time you don’t do it,”
You gave a loud groan as you stood, grabbing your backpack and made your way up to your bedroom.
Wooo! More angst starters! And yes to more male reader shit! I love it! Don’t know if you wanted romantic or what but I hope it’s what you like it anyway Trans Guy Anon!
(pretending i’m catching up on male reader mondays here tbh)
You had been shouted at again. All you wanted was to get some beers and a frozen pizza from the store and some kids had called you all the names you hated and even thrown an open can of coke at you. Normally, on any other day, you would have ignored them or maybe flipped them off but today you were feeling slightly more fragile because Jax wasn’t home.
Ever since you had come out to him, told him you would understand if he wanted to leave, you had been on edge whenever he was at a party or out. Even though he had said he wasn’t going to leave it didn’t stop the paranoia that you felt that he would find someone else. A girl like you had been when he first met you.
Squeezing your eyes shut, putting your head down and holding the bag to your chest you made your way home. You didn’t even bother putting the pizza in before you needed to have a drink. You didn’t drink often but when you did you were messy, always had been. It was one of the many things that Jax loved about you because he always felt needed when you were drunk. It was like you wanted to drink until you stopped hearing the stupid comments people made ringing in your ears. You wanted to drink until you couldn’t think any more.
Jax came home a few hours after you had to hear you crashing around in the kitchen. The smell of blood filled his nose and he was immediately concerned. He found you crying on the kitchen floor with your knees pulled to your chest and cradling your arm tightly. There was smashed beer bottles on the floor and blood seeping into the deep groves of the wooden flooring.
“(Y/N),” Jax whispered, looking at you with hurt in his face, he never used the wrong name, “what have you done? That’s a lot of blood.”
Your head snapped up when you heard his voice and you clutched your arm tighter. You had never felt more pathetic in your entire life.
“The fucking bottles!” You said, gesturing, “They fell and- and I tried to clean them the glass up but I slipped and now my hand...”
You held it out so he could see the large gash that went from your palm then down to the side of your arm. You had slid along a particularly jagged piece and just bled all over the floor. Jax knelt in front of you, ripped off some of his flannel shirt to wrap over your wound. Once it was wrapped tightly and the bleeding had stopped he cupped your face in his hands, swiped the tears away with his thumbs and pulled you forwards so he could kiss your forehead. You didn’t mind that he had got blood on your face.
“What happened?” He asked, sitting beside you and letting you hide yourself in his shoulder while his arms wrapped tightly and protectively around you.
You mumbled everything to him and wiped your face roughly with the homemade bandage. He stroked your newly cut hair, a style he liked and said made you look more masculine than just a girl with short hair, while he listened to what had happened to you that evening.
“I just wanted it to stop, Jax,” You whispered eventually, “I just wanted my head to shut up.”
“Alcohol’s not gonna solve your problems,” he told you almost immediately, “you know how bad you get.”
As if he needed to explain that he gestured around the room at the blood you were both sitting in; seeping into your baggy jeans and making you feel sticky.
“I’m sorry I’m such a pussy. I feel like such a... such a girl.”
“You ain’t no girl,” Jax growled and pushed you away from him, shaking you violently so he could look you in the face.
“Why don’t you leave, Jax? You’re not gay. You don’t want a guy-”
“I just want you, (Y/N). Boy, girl, I don’t give a shit. I love you for who you are; not what you are. Nothin’s gonna change that.”
To prove his point, he grabbed you roughly; kissing you and gripping the chest binder on your shoulders under your shirt to pull you closer until he could wrap his arms around you again.
“I love you Jax,” you whispered, suddenly sober after the intensity of the kiss.
“I love you. I’m always gonna love you. Come on. This shit can wait ‘til tomorrow. I wanna put you to bed.”
You snorted out some laughter and allowed him to drag you off the ground before putting your arms around him and leading him down to the bedroom.
❛ As you step into a new, more masculine identity, your nerves are eased by the unwavering support of your friends and boyfriend.
𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐤 𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤 + trans boy reader ೯ ( 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 )
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9k 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 7 mins
꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ This is probably one of my favorite pieces I've written, it was so self-indulgent as a masc non-binary fan of XDH, so I absolutely adored this request (made by my wonderful 🩷 Anon! I hope you guys enjoy, reblogs and feedback are much appreciated! Requests are currently open! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Established relationship, Y/N recently came out as a trans guy, mentions of wearing a binder for the first time, the rest of the members of Xdinary Heroes are dressed femininely to support you since it's the first time you go out in public dressed so masculine, mentions of anxiety, mentions of people staring.
You anxiously pace around your apartment, your steps quick and uneven, a reflection of the turmoil inside you. The clock on the wall ticks loudly, each second echoing your mounting nerves. Every few moments, you dart back to the mirror, adjusting the binder Jiseok had surprised you with and smoothing out the more masculine clothing you’ve chosen for the first time. The reflection staring back at you is both unfamiliar and oddly liberating, but the anxiety still gnaws at you like a persistent shadow.
Jiseok, lounging on your couch, watches you with an expression that blends amusement and tenderness. His phone lies forgotten in his hand, abandoned in favor of observing your restless movements. His eyes, filled with warmth and affection, follow your every step, a silent but reassuring presence amidst your growing apprehension. Despite his frequent reassurances that you look undeniably handsome, the unease remains, a gnawing uncertainty that refuses to fade.
This moment is significant for you, a departure from the familiar into uncharted territory. The binder and the new style represent more than just a change in wardrobe; they symbolize a step toward embracing a more authentic version of yourself. Yet, even with Jiseok’s repeated affirmations, the anxiety of stepping into this new self is palpable, a heavy weight that clings to your chest.
You cast another glance at your reflection, searching for flaws, for something that might unravel the confidence you’re trying to muster. The mirror shows a version of yourself that feels both empowering and vulnerable, a delicate balance that is hard to navigate. Each adjustment of your clothing, each smoothing of your hair, is an attempt to find comfort in this new skin, but the anxiety persists, whispering doubts into the corners of your mind.
Jiseok’s eyes, however, remain fixed on you, his amusement softened by a deep, unwavering support. His presence is a quiet counterpoint to your inner turmoil, a constant reminder that you are not alone in this journey. Though the anxiety continues to gnaw at you, the steadfastness in Jiseok’s gaze and his gentle reassurances offer a flicker of hope and a promise of acceptance.
Suddenly, your lifelong best friend and boyfriend excuses himself into your bedroom. You barely have time to wonder why before a knock on your front door interrupts your pacing. Heart racing, you sprint to answer it, only to be rendered speechless by the sight before you. While you had expected to find your friends, you hadn’t anticipated their striking transformations.
Gunil stands confidently at the forefront, his cropped top revealing a sliver of toned midriff, and his eyes accentuated by grungy makeup that sharpens his features. His bold look radiates a daring defiance, setting the tone for the unexpected ensemble before you.
Jungsu catches your eye next, sporting a mid-thigh length plaid skirt that sways slightly with his movements. His shirt is neatly tucked in, giving him a polished yet rebellious air, and his hair is adorned with colorful clips that contrast playfully with his otherwise composed appearance. The sight of Jungsu, usually so serious, embracing this vivid and whimsical style stirs a mixture of surprise and admiration within you.
Seungmin’s outfit is equally captivating, his cropped top paired with a flowing black skirt that grazes just above his knees. The eyeliner framing his eyes adds a dramatic flair, highlighting his expressive gaze. The combination of soft and edgy elements in his look mirrors the complex layers of his personality, leaving you both intrigued and impressed.
Hyeongjun, in a long denim skirt you've seen him wear before, exudes a quiet confidence. His hair is styled into a half-up, half-down look, softening his features and adding a touch of elegance to his casual attire. The familiar yet refreshed appearance of Hyeongjun brings a comforting sense of continuity amidst the surprising changes.
Finally, Jooyeon stands out with his short plaid skirt paired with fishnets, his hair styled into playful space buns. The juxtaposition of the classic plaid and daring fishnets creates a bold statement, and the space buns add a whimsical charm to his look. Jooyeon's daring fashion choice radiates a fearless confidence that resonates with your own journey of self-expression.
As you take in the sight of your friends, each embracing their unique styles with unapologetic confidence, a wave of emotion washes over you. The anxiety that had gripped you moments ago begins to melt away, replaced by a profound sense of camaraderie and support. Their bold transformations echo your own struggle and triumph in embracing your true self, reminding you that you’re not alone in this journey.
Your heart swells with gratitude and admiration for your friends, who have shown up not just in presence, but in spirit, celebrating your courage with their own. The sight of them, so different yet so authentically themselves, fortifies your resolve and fills you with a renewed sense of confidence. With a deep breath, you step forward, ready to embrace the evening with the unwavering support of your lifelong friends by your side.
"You all look amazing," you manage to say, still trying to process the vibrant array of styles before you. As they step inside, your eyes remain wide in shock and admiration. Their response is immediate and heartwarming; they shower you with genuine compliments, each remark about how handsome you look in your new style making your cheeks flush a deep crimson. The sincerity in their voices and the pride in their eyes fills you with a warmth that eases your earlier anxiety.
Just as you begin to relax into the moment, you hear Jiseok clear his throat dramatically behind you. Turning around, you gasp at the sight that meets your eyes. Jiseok stands there, still wearing the striped sweater he had on before disappearing into the bathroom, but instead of jeans, he’s now donning one of your old, long black satin dresses underneath the sweater. The elegant fabric sways slightly as he moves, creating a surprising yet strangely harmonious blend of casual and formal.
The absurdity of his outfit doesn't stop there. Perched atop his head is a plastic tiara, catching the light and adding a whimsical touch to his ensemble. His lips shimmer with glittery lip gloss, completing the playful and unexpected transformation. The sight is both ridiculous and endearing, a perfect encapsulation of Jiseok's ability to make you smile even in the most unexpected ways.
A light chuckle escapes your lips as you take in the full extent of his getup. The laughter bubbles up, mingling with the lingering remnants of your earlier anxiety, and suddenly, the room feels lighter, filled with an unspoken understanding and acceptance. You step forward, closing the distance between you and Jiseok, and press your lips against his in a tender kiss. The glitter from his lip gloss transfers slightly, adding a touch of sparkle to the intimate moment.
As you pull back, your eyes meet Jiseok's, and the look you share speaks volumes. In this small, affectionate gesture, there is an acknowledgment of the journey you've both been on, the courage it took to embrace your true self, and the unyielding support you have from him. Surrounded by your friends, all uniquely expressing themselves in your honor, and with Jiseok by your side, you feel a profound sense of belonging and love that fortifies you for whatever comes next.
Once the flurry of compliments had settled, you all made your way out the door, heading to a nearby restaurant as planned. The group walks in unison, a vibrant parade of diverse styles and unapologetic self-expression. As you move through the streets, you notice the curious and occasionally puzzled glances from strangers. However, the once-daunting stares no longer feel as terrifying with your friends and boyfriend by your side, their bold attire a testament to their unwavering support.
Gunil’s grungy makeup and cropped top, Jungsu’s plaid skirt with colorful hair clips, Seungmin’s flowing skirt and eyeliner, Hyeongjun’s elegant denim skirt and styled hair, and Jooyeon’s plaid skirt with fishnets and space buns create a striking visual that draws attention. Despite the occasional odd look, there is an undeniable sense of solidarity that envelops you, making the world feel a little less intimidating.
The endearing sight of your friends and boyfriend dressed so uniquely to support you fills your heart with warmth. Every step you take is lighter, buoyed by the camaraderie and love that surrounds you. The anxiety that had once gripped you now feels distant, replaced by a profound sense of acceptance and belonging.
As you approach the restaurant, the looks from passersby seem less significant, their judgmental gazes overshadowed by the strength and unity of your group. Your heart swells with gratitude, knowing that these extraordinary individuals have not only embraced their own authenticity but have also empowered you to embrace yours.
The evening air feels crisp and invigorating as you walk together, and with each passing moment, the bond between you and your friends deepens. Their willingness to step out of their comfort zones and dress in a way that challenges societal norms just to support you is a testament to their love and friendship. The thought fills you with an overwhelming sense of pride and joy.
Jiseok’s hand remains firmly intertwined with yours throughout the entire walk, his touch a comforting anchor amidst the sea of emotions swirling within you. Every so often, he leans in close, his breath warm against your ear, and whispers how ridiculously handsome you look, how he can’t get over the transformation. His words are like honey, sweet and soothing, each one sinking into your heart and settling there.
He tells you how obsessed he is with you, his voice filled with a sincerity that makes your heart flutter. Each declaration of his pride in you, his honor to be your boyfriend, sends a fresh wave of warmth coursing through your veins. The intensity of his feelings is palpable, wrapping around you like a protective cocoon, and you can't help but blush profusely at each affectionate confession.
With every step, Jiseok’s grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly, a silent reassurance of his unwavering support. His presence, his whispered affirmations, create a bubble of intimacy amidst the bustling streets and curious onlookers. It’s as if the world fades away, leaving just the two of you wrapped in a moment of pure connection and love.
His words are a balm to your anxiety, each one meticulously chipping away at the insecurities that have long haunted you. The way he looks at you, with eyes brimming with adoration and pride, makes you feel seen in the most profound way. It’s not just about the clothes or the outward changes; it’s about the courage to embrace your true self, and Jiseok's endless support amplifies that courage tenfold.
Every time he leans in to murmur his adoration, your cheeks heat up, a blush spreading across your face. The sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, makes each compliment feel like the first, filling you with a sense of joy and affirmation that you hadn’t realized you needed so desperately.
As you walk together, hand in hand, Jiseok’s unwavering support and constant reassurances weave a tapestry of love and confidence around you. His pride in you is evident in every word, every touch, and every glance. With each affectionate whisper, the bond between you strengthens, reinforcing the belief that together, you can face anything the world throws your way.
By the time you reach your destination, the anxiety that had once threatened to overwhelm you has dissipated, replaced by a profound sense of love and belonging. Jiseok’s constant reminders of how handsome you are, how proud he is of you, and how honored he feels to be your boyfriend, have fortified your spirit. Blushing and beaming, you step into the restaurant with him by your side, ready to face whatever comes next, knowing that with Jiseok's love, you are unstoppable.
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