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I Ain’t Your Southern Belle

(so i’m trying to post this on AO3, but I thought I might give it a try here! Sorry if this sucks!)

If there was one thing Jesse McCree wasn’t, it was a coward. That being said, when he was suddenly tossed to the wild unknown that is the foster care system, he was a bit scared. Not cowardly, just… slightly scared. After all, it’s not every day that a family disowns a thirteen-year-old child simply because he was born the wrong gender. The night honestly had been a blur, but as there seemed to be no one in the place aside from Jesse the foster care system decided to give him to a rather trusted couple who had been hosting children for several years now. Morrison-Reyes was the family name, according to what Jesse had been told, and they consisted of a cop and a high school teacher. Why they wanted another kid to look after was something of a mystery to Jesse when the found out they already had three other kids in their home. Not only that but he knows they got the records of him from before.

Jessie Isabella McCree hadn’t the greatest past. He knew from a young age that had been born the wrong gender, and the tight feeling of shame of his own situation had only grown under the influence of his birth parents. They and his two older brothers had never approved of the idea, forcing him to wear dresses, and bows. Treating him more like a doll than a person with feelings and thoughts of their own. So, on the faithful night that they kicked him out, Jesse knew he would never be allowed back near their farm, not that he wanted to be anyway. So now at sixteen years old, three years after being kicked out, he was finally found by child services and forced into the system. It all happened too fast for him to really recognize what was going on, but perhaps that was for the better. He put up little fight, though when asked his name by the officer that got him, he did reply with Jesse, and though it has little difference in pronunciations, the drop of the I in his mind did wonders.

From there he was tossed around a bit for about two weeks, before it was decided he would be going to the Morrison-Reyes home for thanksgiving and Christmas to see if they would be a suitable match. Few days of paperwork later he arrived in front of a classic two-story brick home, modernized and decorated already for Christmas even though it was about a week before Thanksgiving. School, which he had to be put back into, would be out within the week, so he would be forced to spend time with the family. He did find out though that one of his foster parents was the Spanish teacher in his school, which turned out well since Jesse was almost fluent in the language. Probably the only good thing that had come out of living in a Spanish guys house for the past three years, was the immense pick up of the language.

Thus, he was introduced to Jack Morrison, and his husband Gabriel Reyes. Jamie was the overexcited and slightly loud Australian whom he would share a lot with and also the newest of their children, Hana being an original member of the family as she had been adopted first and was a baby even before the couple was married. Finally, there was Lúcio, a gifted youth who matched Hana in age, both being eleven, and excelled with music. Hana was a rising competitive gamer, and Jamie was an inventor. All of this information was thrown at Jesse within the span of about twelve minutes. Oh, and dinner was in ten.

“C’mon, put your bags down son, we’ll get your settled.” Jack stated with a smooth voice that honestly suited the whole golden boy look he fitted in. Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect smile, and a toned body. Not that Jesse was really looking at the last thing, but hey it was obvious why the man attracted Mr. Reyes. Gabriel Reyes however was a dark skinned, and hard edge sort of man. He looked like the kind that would quiet literally snap some one’s neck in half if they so much as looked at him wrong. Jesse was not a coward, just a little scared.

“Yer uh… my Spanish teacher…” Jesse mumbled looking at the hulk of a man.

“And you’re the child that’s been skipping class since you got put in my class.” He answered back simply raising a brow that Jesse ducked down at.

“Uh… yeah about that-” Jesse laughed uneasily before yelping as he was pulled into the kitchen by an overly enthusiastic Hana.

“Scare him later papa, I want dinner and dad said we’re not having it till we’re all there!” She called back towards the man, who just shrugged behind the kids and followed in line.

“So Jesse, you’re sixtee right?” Jack asked and received a nod. “When’s your birthday?” He carried on the conversation.

“Oh uh, it was like July 28th or somethin’… I ain’t got a good memory for dates.” Jesse answered slowly edging into a seat that was offered up by Jamie who seemed to be eyeing him down curiously.

Mr. Morrisons brows furrowed in confusion as he turned and handed a full plate of food to Hana. “You don’t remember? Now how do you forget your own birthday?” He tried to joke, but ended up only making Jesse duck his head down more.

“I aint celebrated it in a… a while.” Jesse answered truthfully as Jack just nodded and cut of his awkward laughter.

“Well maybe we can change that.” He offered up a plate to Jesse, who hesitantly took it and put it down on the table as quietly has humanly possible. Dinner continued on in this manner with Mr. Morrison trying to find out some stuff that had already been on Jesse’s files from Jesse himself, and the teen giving a half answer since he didn’t even know most information on himself anymore. Once he was done pretending to eat and pushing food around on his plate, he stayed and helped Mr. Reyes clean up.

“You know kid,” The man started. “You’re only gonna make this awkward if you keep dancing around and keep it awkward like this. I suggest you just give up and try to make yourself as comfortable as possible in this situation.” Reyes advised as they finished up, Jesse drying off the last dish and putting it onto a pile he had made. Seeming to be done talking, Jesse was lead to his room by Jamie. The room was right across from the couple’s room, with the remaining three upstairs if he needed them. A simple full bed, and dresser it was obvious the room was for guests. Reaching down and touching the quilted blanket on the bed, sighing as he dropped his single bag of clothing he owned. Most of it was worn down and ratty but it’s what he had so that’s what he’d wear for the remainder of his stay he supposed. Flopping onto his bed Jesse sighed and tried to curl up to get some sleep after he kicked off his shoes which thumped onto the floor.

The following morning was a Saturday, and while normally Jesse would be rejoicing the lack of school, it meant he had to spend time with his new foster family. He was up late in the morning, around 10 am was when he woke up. Wandering into the bathroom connected to his room he firstly relieved himself, and then focused on looking presentable. Popped a few zits, and rummaging through his bag for some bandages he taped up his chest. He knew this was a bad thing to do, but it’s all he could afforded and no one ever stopped him, so bandaging it was. He dreamed of having enough money to own a proper binder in all honestly, but with how things were before and the now lack of any money at the moment, he knew this was a dream for another day.

Brushing his greasy hair, he decided he would find out how to take a shower later, and headed out in the same clothes he had worn the day before. Jack was standing in the kitchen when he came in, sending a kind smile when he noticed the new comer in the kitchen. The home had been remodeled to have an open floor plan Jesse suspected, as the kitchen wall was blown open so it included the living room. An island separating the living area from the kitchen area and at the island sat a very sleepy looking Jamie and Hana who both were eating cereal with varying degrees of success in getting the fruity loops into their mouths. By Jesse’s judgment, currently Jamie was winning in getting the most in his actual mouth. Hana meanwhile was making a nice collection in her long hair.

Jesse subconsciously touched his own hair as he thought about when it was down to his waist. His mother refused to let him get it cut, and eventually he took a pair of scissors to it and fixed the problem himself. It was sloppy, and a little long in the front now, but it was above his shoulders and that’s all he cared about. “Morning Jesse.” Jack greeted him, snapping Jesse from his thoughts and the man gestured towards the breakfast bar. “Want some cereal?”

“I’m good actually.” Jesse declined not wanting to take even more of their food. “What’s everyone doin’?” He drawled out looking to the living room where Lúcio and Gabriel were decorating the large fireplace located on the adjacent wall to the door and stairs. Stockings and other items being hung up with care and lots of command hooks.

“Oh they’re just finishing up decorations.” Jack explained as Jesse mindlessly nodded along. “You can join them if you like and aren’t hungry.” He offered up as the teen nodded once more and moved into the living room watching till Gabriel noticed him and grunted to Jesse.

“Here, help him put these up on the tree.” He spoke out as the teen jolted into movement to help. Lúcio was humming while they did this, and slowly Jesse worked himself into a rhythm of handing the younger an ornament for the tree, and waiting patiently with the next one while it was hung upon the tree. This same rhythm soon seemed to follow Jesse into his life style with the Morrison-Reyes household. He would wake up, deny breakfast, help decorate or another small task/chore, then laze around for some time, claim he had eaten lunch, laze around some more and then eat dinner before showering and bed. This provided as sense of security in his routine, and when school started on Monday he simply fixed it so he would talk with Mr. Reyes during Spanish class (He was no longer aloud to skip it) and then go about his other classes. He was behind in most things considering he missed three years of schooling, though they simply threw him behind a grade and called it good enough.

He learned a lot about his fellow foster and adopted kids while he was going through the first week. Hana regularly had nightmares about her birth mother who had died while trying to get to America. Lúcio didn’t even know his birth parents, and grew up in the system from day one. Jamie however, Jesse grew particularly close too, as he found out he was also transgender. The boy offered all sorts of advice and things Jesse didn’t even know existed. He had started some hormone therapy while he was still on the streets, but he didn’t half the information Jamie had told him about it. Apparently, Reyes and Morrison had been paying for Jamie’s treatments for the better half of a year and they didn’t plan on stopping any time soon. Binders were also another topic brought up, and when Jamie found out he was using bandages to bind the boy nearly threw a fit inside of class (They both had history together as it wasn’t Jamies strongest subject). The following period Jesse was dragged to Reyes classroom who was just as appalled to find out. One doctors trip later he learned that the pain he had been feeling when putting them on was caused by a fractured rib. Jamie freaked out.

With his chest now exposed to the world, doctor’s orders, they left the office and Jesse received several looks as he tried to adjust to the sudden freedom and lack of pain he felt. He was ordered to not bind or even attempt it again for six weeks till the rib had healed properly. Left with no other choice than to follow orders he then spent the remainder of the week, god it was only Wednesday, to staying home and cleaning up the place as an excuse to explore the house fully (Jack knew but didn’t say anything. Humans are curious after all).

Thanksgiving turned out to be relatively quiet after he arrived, as far as Thanksgivings go, with just the six of them eating together happily. Jesse was slowly speaking more and more, his shyness melting away easily with the group as he happily shoveled down the delicious multicultural food. Gabe had made delicious corn salads and salsa with chips for his contribution, Hana absolutely enthusiastic to shovel down the burning kimchi that Jesse could only stand a bite of before he was coughing, Lúcio providing some relief with his sweet rabanada while Jamie and Jack both gobbled down several people’s servings of turkey. Overall Jesse couldn’t remember a time he felt so stuffed and warm when he was wrapped up in a giant quilt with a snoring Hana on his shoulder afterwards. The girl having fallen into a peaceful food coma while Gaberiel and the others were busy fighting over what movie to watch.

Jesse came to find out that they did this often, the family dinner type deal, as he was continually surprised at the warm food which always seemed to be piled onto the table every night. Once school was called back in, Jesse reluctantly got up with Mr. Reyes (who now insisted he be called Gabe) in the morning, avoiding everyone’s questioning glances as he skipped his normal classes (He didn't feel like going to them and Gabriel didn't say anything in protest anymore) and sat in the Spanish room. Conversation flowing so easily between the pair that most of their discussions ended up on the quizzes that Jesse helped grade with Gabe. It took him several days of silent contemplation in the class room however before Jesse finally got the nerve to ask Gabe if he could borrow one of his or Jack’s large hoodies to help make him feel more normal. The bandaging around his torso did little to hide his chest, and with how he looked now it just made Jesse feel weird. The man of course obliged, taking Jesse out the next day and getting him several sets of safe clothing until he was allowed his binder back.

He almost started to have a small panic attack at the thought of Gabe spending so much money on him, but luckily Jamie had gone with them and simply said he’d wear some of the clothing as well so it wasn’t just money on Jesse. He didn’t know why those words helped, but the pain in his chest gradually eased away as he found a sweat shirt he couldn’t help but ask for. ‘BAMF’ printed on the front along with two little pistols in a deep red color that Jesse found absolutely hilarious. Gabe happily obliged in his wish after laughing his ass off as well.

Jack took Jesse back to the doctors about three weeks into his stay. He learned, sadly, that no binders were allowed still, as his ribs themselves were allowing to expand free and heal up properly. While this was a downside he did learn from Jack it just meant he could eat more ice cream and blame it on his ribs, so they both gladly raided the freezers contents and ate half a gallon each of chocolate chip. Jack came to surprise Jesse with a similar taste in movies, as they were the only one’s home currently, pulling out several classic Clint Eastwood movies that had both of them raving about the action qualities immediately. While Jack enjoyed his own action and hero movies, he did love westerns for their heroes and dramatic situations. It made Jesse full out laugh when Jack tried to ask how these situations even arose back then, the teen just shrugging and claimed all of them were bored without TV.

The answer pleased Jack it seemed, as the Indiana native just smiled at Jesse, ruffled his hair, and stole a scoop of his ice cream. With the movie playing, both of their attentions were split between watching and repeating the dialogue both knew by heart, and actually just talking. “So, what do you want for Christmas?” Jack asked as he took a sip from his Coke on the table.

Jesse paused in getting a scoop full of chocolate chip, to look at him. “I thought this was my Christmas gift. Yah know stayin’ with ya’ll?” He asked resuming the motion popping a spoon full of the cold treat into his mouth happily.

“Well in a way yes, but that isn’t it. You still have to ask Santa for something.” Jack teased softly gesturing over to the mile-high stack of papers Hana had filled to the brim with gift ideas for most of the family (mainly herself however).

“Uh… hell I don’t know… didn’t think Santa came to punks like me. Naughty list and all.” Jesse shrugged back simply with his attention back on the TV at this point.

The officer scoffing softly as he looked towards the teen. “Santa and I are very close, and I’ll have you know he has you on his Nice list. So, what does the cowboy want?” He asked again with a small smile playing at his lips.

“Shucks… I don’t know Mr. Morrison. I just usually got dresses and dolls back home….” Jesse mumbled rubbing his chest lightly to ease a small itch.

“Well you aren’t getting dresses, unless you want them for some reason, so think of something else okay? Just make a list or something.” Jack suggested softly, reaching over to the table and picking up a smaller stack of paper off the table Hana had taken up. “Or at least tell us if Hana is close to what you’d like or not.” He gently offered it up to the teen to hesitantly took it.

Jesse nodding slightly to acknowledge him as his eyes quickly scanned over the items listed underneath his name. “All this stuff seems kinda…. Yah know… expensive.” He mumbled before taking an offered pen and scribbling out the items which he deemed too extravagant. “Maybe just like… I don’t know some warm socks or a blanket…?” He suggested handing the list back for Jack to inspect.

Jack sighing softly as he found most of the items not crossed out were under 10 dollars each. “Jesse, you do know both Gabe and I work for a reason, right? We can afford to get you a real gift, and if you don’t pick it Hana will. And I know for a fact she can find more expensive items.” He gently combed a hand through the teens hair, smiling when Jesse leaned slightly to the touch letting out a soft huff.

“I know… still don’t mean I wan’ nothin’ expensive…. Maybe a cowboy hat or somethin’?” He tried once again, Jack seeming to accept his answer now with a nod and his smile growing.

“Cowboy hat it is! Juuust make sure to send your letter in to Santa okay? He gets cranky if you wait till the last minute.” The officer chuckled as he casually stole a bite of Jesse’s ice cream, the teen yelping as he tried to move it away in time. “What??” Jack laughed, feigning innocence as Jesse pouted.

“Fine then… I’m gonna take a nap instead ice cream thief.” Jesse huffed, but still smiled as he put the ice cream tub back into the freezer, and his spoon in the dishwasher. Jack still snickering as he turned his own attention back to the movie at hand. Jesse meanwhile headed into the guest room he’d been calling his own. A large red blanket with a geometric design stitched into it laying at the foot of the bed, one of the favorites of the blankets they had given to him to use in Jesse’s opinion. Changing into a slightly more comfortable pair of pajama pants and sliding underneath the warm covers, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders snuggly.

Sleep found Jesse quickly, taking his mind into a dark and endless abyss where he floated softly in the warm pleasure of the bed around himself. His thoughts gently drifted about, wondering from recent events, thinking of students who populated Gabe’s class room during the day. Eventually his mind wondered how his brothers were doing, before a jab of pain resonated into his chest from the idea. They were fine. Of course, they had to be fine, he was gone after all, something they wished for greatly.

Thoughts slowly swirled down from this point until Jesse was whimpering pathetically in the real world, twitching and shaking despite the blankets on his frame. He had only managed to dose for an hour before he woke up, sucking in a surprised breath. His chest lit up in flames, pulling tightly at the warm sweatshirt he had on till Jesse slipped the material off himself in an attempt to make the tugging stop. He was left in a short sleeve t-shirt he had snatched from Jamie some time ago, along with his sweat pants which he begrudgingly noticed felt wetter than usual. “Fuck….” He hissed out slowly getting up and shuffling into the bathroom. As fate would have it, his period had started. Wonderful, this stupid thing again.

He had thought the hormone treatments had stopping it, but having been off them for a while apparently brought them right back on when the hormones had been flushed out his system. Jesse begrudgingly slapped on a pad and tampon, holding his cramping middle as he shuffled out to change pants and lay down to try and control the tightness in his chest. He was a little shocked however to see his room wasn’t empty when he came back in. Jamie was standing over by his bed, gathering up the sheets from his bed and looking over with a smile when he saw Jesse. “’Ey! Wanna come up in my room?” He offered as he continued to strip the bed down, Jesse now seeing there was a blood spot staining the perfectly white cloth.

“U-Uh… yeah sure…” Jesse nodded looking at his feet as Jamie passed him, dumping the sheets in the laundry room before both teens shuffled into his room.

“Sit down, I gotta find som’tin.” Jamie instructed as he started to search through is mess of a closet, Jesse looking and sitting down on the stuff animal filled bed. It was the weirdest thing one wouldn’t expect when thinking of Jamie, but the boy loved stuffed animals. Whenever the family went anywhere he always got a stuffed animal from there that in some way represented the place they had gone.

When the teen returned, he dumped a clothed pad of some kind on his lap, before plugging the device into the wall. “Heat Pad. Always helps with my cramps.” He explained sitting across from Jesse with a bounce of the bed’s springs. “I thought’d you like it and maybe I could tell you a little bit about my fine specimen collection!” He asked gesturing to the stuffed animals, plucking up a stuffed Pig. “This one is my bestest one! I got it from my best mate back ‘ome, and lovingly named it Roadhog! Cause that was ‘is nickname ya see-“ Jamie began his giant tale of the animals Jesse laughing as he went on to tell a story about how he and this ‘Roadhog’ character had played around, almost blowing up an ant hill.

This is how the evening evolved, with Jesse laughing or leaning on the edge of his seat as Jamie chattered the world away with the seemingly endless tales of his stuffed animals. He found out Jamie had a slight concussion when he was younger causing him to have a slightly harder time forming new memories. So, the stuffed animals were like a touchable journal or memory bank. If he wanted to remember a time better, he could pick one of them up and it helped him remember. Without realizing, as the two teens chatted, eventually even swapping stories, Jesse’s chest unwound itself till he was laughing so hard he was gasping for breath.

Hearing the commotion Jack peaked on the pair, smiling softly as he saw Jamie pretending to be attacked by a stuffed Crocodile while telling the story of the families first zoo trip with Lúcio. Jesse looked perfectly at ease with him, both of them unknowingly leaning slightly on each other for comfort and support. Quietly shutting the door again Morrison walked back downstairs where Hana and Lúcio were playing video games. He dropped a kiss on both of their heads as he passed the couch, sitting down at the dining table and going back to scribbling away at some forms for work.

His phone lit up with a text, a maraca shaking sounding out to alert Gabe had texted him.

‘How did the doctors appointment go? -G’

Jack smiled as he looked down at the message and typed back the reply.

‘Perfect. -J’

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