Discover Top Posts Tagged with #trans longing

I want T-blockers and estrogen so bad TwT

#trans woman #pre-hrt #transgender #transgirl #estrogen #T-blockers #trans longing

Non kinky post:

The other day I saw two young boys (maybe 6-8 age range) and they were playing in a supermarket. Not rough. That whole 'tag' game where both of you are doing a standoff and randomly lunge at the other to tag them and then try to run but they tag you back too fast and you're back at the standoff.

I saw that and even though it was at a supermarket, I was super happy to see two young boys playing. Like, playing playing. Not on tablets or pushing and shoving and being upset but when told off, replying that "we're just playing". I was even happier though that the parents weren't scolding the kids. They were enjoying themselves, they weren't being disruptful or breaking anything, just playing. I loved watching these kids just be kids. I wanted that.

I watched and out of the corner of my eye I saw a different little girl watch them from the side, hanging by her mother. The girl was smiling and nervous. The mom noticed and said "You want to join them, don't you?" And the girl nervously nodded all excited.

I felt a very familiar melancholy in that moment. Remembering all the times I was young and saw other boys playing and wished so badly I could join them but felt upset or uncomfortable trying to play with boys "as a girl". I felt for that girl. I still have that little boy in me longing to play with other guys my age and play tag and rough house and wrestle and hang out.

I always read about how trans people are upset they didn't have a boy/girl childhood. I never understood it. Cause I liked the 'wear dress up as a small kid and playing with makeup before I understood how pervasive it was'. I liked that. It was more the teenage years I wished I could have changed. But I saw those two boys and I saw a glimpse of what I missed out on.

#trans longing #gender envy #boy childhood #transmasc

Dysphoric culture is watching all the trans people around you go on hormones, get surgery, and have supportive families. I feel like I’ve been left behind as they all get happier, just because they got luckier than me to have access to the resources

Dysphoric culture is!

Also, yeah it really can feel isolating and miserable. Someone mod knows irl (who is multiple years younger) is now on GAHT and it’s just like… you’re happy for them and their transition progress but going through so much grief at the same time.

There ought to be a word for that feeling, like “transition isolation” or “trans longing/melancholy” or something. Hopefully you will be able to transition too someday anon!