#trans socialization

[tangerinezest]

i was not in any way 'female socialized' and i can't relate to trans people coercively assigned female at birth who use that term to describe their own life experiences. the thing about socialization is that it's absolutely real and it's also so much more complicated than 'male' vs 'female.' AND, crucially, it requires self identification with the group you are supposed to be apart of. male/female socialization simply does not work on trans children. it just reveals our transness in ways that expose us to violence: more extreme denial of bodily autonomy than the average child experiences, bullying, abuse, and alternatively/additionally self-hatred, self-policing, self-repression, anti-social behaviors and isolation. because of transmisogyny, trans girls and transfem children also experience a greater degree of physical violence on top of everything else i've listed (trans boys and transmasc children are not seen as deserving of physical brutality on the same level.)

i was not female socialized. i was 'freak weirdo kid who is not like the rest of us girls at all' socialized. i was 'autistic' socialized. and i was 'coerced into sublimating my needs and ignoring my own boundaries to suit the arbitrary whims and control needs of adults' socialized, like most children are, regardless of their assigned sexgender or proximity to transness, but because of my transness i adopted this tactic of self-annihilation with far more urgency and dedication, in order to make sure adults would allow my basic needs to be met, and that my peers would be less cruel in their treatment of me.

[itiraaz]

[ananiujitha]

I don’t know how male privilege works for cis men - but it doesn’t work for trans womyn.

From personal experience:

I got to go camping, teachers took me seriously, and teachers didn’t hit on me that I’m aware of. So those are specific fragmentary privileges.

I got bullied, I got forced out of my first high school for complaining about the bullying, and I got beaten unconscious at my second high school. I learned to hate myself, before I learned to understand myself. Part of that was for being autistic, and part for being a trans womon. So those are specific and seemingly more substantial dis-privileges.

So when twefs rhetorically ask “Can someone who lived as a man, with all the privilege it entails, really lay claim to womanhood?” unless they’re talking about actual men or fake Goths, the question is wrong before any answer. And for some actual men it could still be wrong - I don’t know.

Link to twef page below:

https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/bbc-womens-hour-host-jenni-murray-be-trans-be-proud-but-dont-call-yourself-a-real-woman/

[andishallemerge]

Being socialized as a trans woman means that you can never accept a compliment, because the very premise of the compliment - your self - is a facade.

[ananiujitha]

Gender Socialization

A couple thoughts

First, I really doubt that all dfab kids get one type, and all dmab kids get another type. Some get taught very rigid gender roles and are punished, either by parents, or teachers, or bullies, for any deviations from those roles. Some get allowed to explore a bit more. Some get encouraged to take stereotypically-masculine interests more seriously than stereotypically-feminine ones. Some get encouraged to take up stereotypically-associated-with-their-dgab interests and get discouraged from stereotypically-associated-with-that-other-dgab interests. Add then there are class, race, religion, neurotype, disabilities, and so on.

Second, I think defining trans girls' socialization as "male socialization" can erase who we are, and besides, also erase a lot of the complications that we've had to deal with, and any (trans)misogyny that we've had to deal with before transition, and if someone is early in transition, can make it harder for her to find herself and resist pressures/manipulation/abuse in transition.

Third, I know I've internalized a lot of wrong attitudes. For example, I was encouraged to be proud of intelligence and knowledge, and I tended to be scornful of people with cognitive disabilities or without the same knowledge. Now I have constant headaches and brain fog and need to figure out how to live with some cognitive disabilities. I need to recognize these things and undo these things to be a better person.

[ananiujitha]

Puzzling...?

Personally, I am sure I was read as trans before transition. I was bullied for being trans, among other differences, and I was beaten/bashed. I was also friends with other girls as often as with boys. But I don't know how often I was read as trans, or how often I was read as a cis boy, or how all that has affected me.

If we assume that more trans people are [implicitly] read as trans before transition than after transition, given cissexism, wouldn't we expect trans people to face less harassment, unemployment, poverty, etc. after transition? When trans womyn usually face substantially more of these, and trans men usually face slightly less? In that case, some of our personal experiences can fit our theories, but the statistical pattern doesn't.