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I don't believe in "guilty pleasures" but reading Lucifer x Adam fics has become one and now I've been introduced to fanart of the even trashier pairing of Charlie x Adam and i literally don't know if i can justify that indulgence to myself but I'm willing to try lol
you were walking down the street one day when you saw something. You did know what it was so you continued your walk. As you were walking, you got ran over and got bit by a gorilla. You stood up and continued walking. Your legs had the bone sticking out and people laughed at how you walked. Suddenly, you grabbed your bone and tried a snake tail at the end. You swung it around and the snake but your relatives eye as they were getting married. Taking their eyes out, their fiancé ate them and turned into a monster. They ate your bone snake. A wig flew to you and started jumping you. You went home perfectly fine.
Yet another Gen Kill AU - squat!fic
Featuring Nate & Brad as the rich kids slumming it
Poke as the communist/anarchist/nihilist/activist
Mike as the former-hippy house dad
Ray as a speed freak rent boy
Walt as a shoplifter (but he looks so innocent! Yeah, that's what he WANTS you to think)
Trombley as an underground fight club organiser. Or a dog...
Maybe Reporter is there?
Rudy/Pappy as charity or free clinic workers
Doc as grumpy alcoholic ex doctor who is still a doctor
Somehow lilley, stafford and christeson? Idk.
I burst out laughing when I saw the “To Catch a Winchester” gif... and then I read the fic and couldn’t stop 😂😂😂
Oh nonnie what gif is that? Did you mean...
...THIS GIF?
This is the best thing I’ve ever made imo. This gif is the thing I want on my GRAVE nonnie.
I’m also super glad you enjoyed To Catch A Winchester. Because it’s a dumb fic by a trash person (me) and like somehow, also, I could see that happening. Our boy loves his pie. I think I incorrectly tagged that fic though because it’s clearly Dean X Pie.
You are all that is good in the world nonnie and I so appreciate this message. You’re a beautiful ray of sunshine and I love you dearly.
Iemitsu becomes the Vongola Decimo
AND ANOTHER ONE (I literally have like over 40 of these to be shared in the next few days. Like I’ve spent years not focusing on them, I doubt I’d find sudden inspiration now that I’m no longer actively involved in these fandoms) This one isn’t any writing, fully just for the draft of a plan I will never follow through with. Au! Where Iemitsu is the next in line for the Vongola.
Not cannon at all.
Oregano: Rain: Water-Guns Tumeric: Storm: Brass-Knuckles Tsuyoshi: Lightning: Sword Shamal: Cloud: Mosquitos Nana: Sun: Bo-staff Lavina: Mist: Musical instruments. Varia= Tomaso Famiglia equv. Lal-Milch= Reborn Iemitsu: Uses fists, is idiot, lives alone and has always loved Nana. Dad died second year of middle school, mother died when he was young, is generally disapproved of by most adults for the fact that he has no parents. Has below average grades, below average intelligence but is ex-captain of boxing club. Last year of middle school, is quitting school to work next year. Is obnoxiously lazy. Doesn’t want to be Decimo. 15 Oregano: Top delinquent at Noriyama Middle. Badass who doesn’t take orders for anyone, is from a Mafia family but like Hayato she’s a disgrace. Ran away and found sanctuary in Japan. Moved around for a while, finally giving up and attending Noriyama because it was the town with the most naïve people. The water guns were something she invented after seeing a girl in ‘some delinquent town’ using similar weapons. 15 Tumeric: Loyal, but generally lazy and uncaring. Was from Europe, dad transferred to Japan when he was young and he’s lived in Noriyama since birth. Interested in MMA, wins MMA tournaments. Only wants his father’s pride, but his dad always puts him down because he doesn’t want his son to become a no-good father like himself. 16 Tsuyoshi: Traditional, polite and caring. He was trained by his master in 7 of the eight forms and is easily better than Tyr, the sword emperor but because of his kindness he doesn’t have it within himself to prove that, as the only way to prove it would be killing Tyr. His father is an old, kind man and his mother a quiet housewife. He lives a normal life, apart from the used to train under his sensei’s tutelage at a young age. 14 Shamal: Smart, abnormally so. Keeps people at a distance, has a total of 330 diseases and uses his mosquitos in fights. Doesn’t have much strength, but uses things like his smarts and simple tools. Gets angry when people needlessly risk their lives, hence his dislike for Iemitsu. Meets Iemitsu while on mission for Lal. Becomes cloud guardian because Lal asked. 17 Nana: Daughter of a Yakuza boss, seventh generation yakuza leader until she gives the post to her brother in favour of becoming Iemitsu’s sun guardian. Has sky flames as well and technically shouldn’t be a guardian, but keeps that a secret from everyone until the future arc. Uses a bo staff at her grandfather’s insistence. Most popular student in Noriyama middle and high. Is an agility based, long ranged fighter. 17 Lovina: Loved playing piano, is an amateur pianist came to Japan to play on her only tour. Falls in love with the view. Iemitsu was forced to her concert to interrogate her, fell in love with her music and like everybody at the concert was hypnotised by her illusions. Natural control of flame but didn’t realise it. Becomes mist guardian to realise her full strength in illusions as not to hurt anybody. 16 Lal-Mirch: Sent to train Iemitsu, like Reborn was for Tsuna.
Dragon saves Ace and Rogue for reasons
My Disgraceful Little Shit
Another one of my trashed-fics that I cnba finishing even tho I really liked it. Mentions of genocide and execution, but nothing explicit. Head canon heavy.
Looking at the man he’d raised, as loosely perhaps as the word raised could be used, Garp felt affection laced with fear course through him. His little shit was leaving, without attempting to say goodbye either.
Or, how one conversation changed everything.
Monkey. D’s are many things, including but not limited to: exponentially talented, ambitious, stubborn to a fault, craving for adventure and kind-hearted. Some lesser known fact about them however, are their innate inability to display affection subtly, their uncanny ability to be in the middle of all troubles, their selfish tendencies and unfortunately the consequences of being adventure craving, kind-hearted idiots. Their too big hearts caused conflict with their wanderlust, especially when their displays of affection often proved too brash, too intense for people to handle. These traits had sculpted Garp in many ways, lead him onto a path he never regretted, but in his rare wistful moments when he was more Marine than he was Monkey.D, he’d look back and wonder if the things he had given up were worth the adventures he’d lived through.
He’d loved his wife, would have given the whole adventure scene up if she had asked, reluctant as he’d been. But she had never asked and selfish as he could be, he had ignored the growing instabilities their love caused. Just as he had craved adventures, she had loathed being stuck in one place. It was no surprise then, when she’d left their son in the hands of a friend they’d made back on his home island.
Dragon had been raised well, his heart wide, his brain ever-curious and his will to live strong. Garp considers it a shame that him and his mother couldn’t take credit for that. Dragon’s independence meant he often took responsibility for himself, even the first fourteen years when him and his wife had shuffled their schedules so Dragon was never without at least one of his parents, Dragon proved to be independent and asocial.
Though he loved his parents, he hadn’t needed them in a long time.
(When Garp had met his wife again, him a certified hero, her an extravagant traveller, he hadn’t asked her. Hadn’t wondered loudly if their love could have survived. They had kissed softly before she answered the question he didn’t ask, desperate and loving, but so changed from the courses of their life. Him more scarred than before, her as beautiful as the day he’d last seen her three years before, lips gentle and caressing. Her answer was a whisper in his ear, head cocked in his shoulder while his arms were loosely wrapped around her waist. She hadn’t asked him to give up adventure, because she’d never stay anyway. They could love each other, but it would never be enough when adventure were concepts engraved in their very beings, and he a Marine and her, an outlaw.)
Looking at the man he’d raised, as loosely perhaps as the word raised could be used, Garp felt affection laced with fear course through him. His little shit was leaving, without attempting to say goodbye either.
“Seventeen years and I don’t even get a bye, you little shit,” his voice booms boisterous as ever.
Said little shit snorts, but turns to face his father, cloak covering the shitty tattoos Garp had loudly disapproved of, though his son cared little.
“I’ll see you again,” he replies after a while.
Chuckling, Garp moves forward and punches Dragon. It’s a punch that would heavily bruise a regular guy, but instead only leaves his son tense. Neither his mother nor his father pulled their punches with him, not since he was a child anyway.
“Have you gone and told your mother about your stupid plans?” Garp questions needlessly.
After all, Dragon saw him at least once every six months and he’d pieced together the little shits ideas himself. His mother wouldn’t have a single clue about the independent shit storm their son was planning, though she’d sure as hell be proud. Perhaps sad that he wasn’t a pirate, like he was sad that he wasn’t a marine, but proud they’d both be.
Dragon just looks at him.
Shrugging carelessly Garp sits on the roof, weary from the day’s events and looks up.
“Are you sure about this? As soon as you make a move against the World Government, I won’t be able to help you. The second you start this, it’s just you and your own resources.”
Empty words, nothing could sway Dragon at this point. Maybe a year or two ago, but frankly Garp was never one to control his son’s life. If the shit didn’t want to be a marine, then for all he could drag him kicking and screaming, he’d still be a damn useless, if not powerful marine.
If he wanted to overthrow a few countries, then Garp could only watch.
“I’ve planned for months, I know what will happen.”
He turns to face the direction of their home, body unreadable, voice stoic. It’s a funny image, because Garp can only see the child he’d raised with an indignant scowl, a love for meat and the open body language of a child.
Laughing Garp tugs at the cloak until his son falls next to him, then slings an arm around his broad shoulder. Dragon grunts in surprise, disgruntled. He’d miss this little shit, rebellious attitude and all.
“My little shit will become a disgraceful little shit very soon, so indulge this old man why don’t you.”
Next to him Dragon scowls, looking at his father unimpressed, but makes no move to leave.
Garp’s grip tightens to a painful level across the shoulder, he was a selfish old-man who never wanted to let go. He’d let go of so much today.
His wife.
His pride.
His rival.
Now, his son.
“Is it true, does he have a child?” Dragon asks, because tact and subtlety were useless against his father half the time.
Garp shrugs, careful not to answer. They both know who Dragon’s asking about though.
“I think– If I had a son, or a daughter… I think, I’d have done what you and mum did… I’d never be able to raise them, especially not after today.”
It’s a quiet admission, some of Garp wonders if he’s going to be stuck with another kid today. The thought irks him, his stupid shit better not have knocked his lovely girlfriend up just before becoming a wanted man!
“Ouch! What the hell old man!”
Garp glared.
“If you tell me I’ve had secret grandchild and you’re dumping ‘em with me, I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you ten times! Who do you think you are, you’re only seventeen! Moreover who are you calling old m-”
His growls are thrown off by a hearty laugh.
“Whatever, I’m just saying for future reference.”
Quieting the two just look at each other.
Then, because Garp’s a sentimental old fool, he blabs loudly and it might not be the case, but if he could save a life he would. Especially if it’s his grandsons.
“They’re beginning a cull in a few weeks,” his voice is dark, while Dragon tenses, “, anyone due to have a child in the next eleven months are suspected, even more so if they have no husband. The cull, it starts first in the South, because Roger was there the longest. Then West, I’m trying to convince them that East is fine…. It’s not working out too well, some of the upper echelon are arguing that his home is the only place where he’d hide his own child. They’ve met some resistance with the North though, the Vinsmoke’s caught wind and aren’t too thrilled, Judge and Sora were due to marry soon. Not like they have much choice, but the underworlds certainly been safer than it is right now.
“It’s– Few people know about it, they don’t want the government pinned for the mass genocide of an entire generation but that’s what it is. Sengoku’s tried to reason with Kong, he got a three month suspension posing as vacation. Tsuru’s gone off on an actual vacation, I don’t know why but I think she’s trying to stop this from the outside. Or prevent a whole fucking genocide….They’re even having the balls to call it a necessary evil–– There’s no way I can stop this, if they think for a second the baby might be Roger’s, they’ll stop at nothing. I’ve tried to reason but, they’re being fools.”
Disgust taints his voice. It’s classified info, but Garp’s always bent and snapped the rules to his pleasing.
If Dragon happened to be able to save some children, then there’s no way it could be traced to Garp anyway.
Only three marines in the world knew of his son. They had never met him, never seen photos of him, only knew his name and how he described him, an energetic tyke named Monkey. D Dragon, who regularly bought his father birthday presents. Who was strong but stupid and had no connection to whatever other Dragon his soon to be disowned son would become. They didn’t even know his age and Garp’s thankful that his big fat mouth didn’t disclose any vital information about his son.
Thankful he had seventeen years with this stupid little shit, because heavens know his parents had less time with him before he up and left.
“I love you,” he whispers solemnly.
Most people would think he’d blubber, but when he gave up on changing people, it was a cold thing. Frosting his bones into silence.
There was no changing Dragon. He was a D. Moreover, he was a Monkey D. They never really changed, just grew.
“I love you too,” he gets up back turned and Garp hears the words before they even leave his mouth.
They finish the sentence in unison, “But sometimes love isn’t enough…”
Grinning, Garp heaves a sigh and clenches his fist. Monkey D’s didn’t say I love you, it was usually an action for them. A punch to remind them to come home. A push, to let you know there’s nothing wrong with moving forward or looking back. After this, there’d be no home to come back to and no punch to remind the other of what he had to live for, only words and memories.
“Would there ever had been a chance of you staying?… If I had stayed?”
Gosh he sounds like a sap, but the regret lingers and it’s not just his son he’s asking. It’s his wife. His friends and his brother, his father. People that never could understand a D, for all they loved them. Everyone he’s had to give up to keep being Garp The Hero.
“Probably...But I would’ve hated it, just like you. I’d have stayed and hated and grown bitter, because I’d felt caged.”
But you would have stayed, the selfish, selfish parts of him screams.
He lets Dragon disappear then, a show of shave that Garp hardly remembers teaching and with his son gone, Garp cries into his large calloused fingers. His too big heart was hurt so much today, it needed a few minutes for the hurt to heal. But Dragon leaving had reminded him he needed to go as well, before Sengoku caught him and forced him into postponing his visit to Rogue for too long. Garp pushes his heartache to the side, wipes his tears and searches for the most discreet dingy he could find.
He’d lost his wife and failed his son, he wouldn’t let another wife and son be failed because of him.
(And maybe in another world Garp would have sensed his son’s haki, but the pain of finally letting his wife go would be too much and he’d never get the closure of saying goodbye to his little shit. In another world Sengoku would find him and trap him into active duty. This is a world where Garp hides his heart behind his uniform and his promises would be kept, but tucked behind due date after due date, and when he finds Rogue it would be too late. But that tale, is one that’s already been told.)
And then:
Rogue lives, Ace is marginally happier growing up and I honestly don’t know where it was gonna go after that. I’m pretty sure I had plans of Ace meeting Koala and Sanji early on, maybe even Robin bc I feel like Rogue would 100% hunt down this child wanted by the world, bc fuck that was nearly her son but like. Idk how it was gonna go, just that somehow canon Strawhats and canon 2nd division commander Ace we’re still going to be relevant aspects of the story.
i have a fic in the works, but I’m not going to release it because I know no one will enjoy it
