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Rebel Princess

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homunculus-argument

"Your people aren't very... warm, are you?"

"I don't grasp what you mean, ma'am."

"I've had you for what, ten, fifteen years now?"

"Fourteen this spring, ma'am."

"And yet I've never seen you smile. Not even once."

"It's a matter of respect."

"You don't smile to people you respect?"

"I don't smile to people I don't like, and I don't lie to people I respect. I don't like you, ma'am, but I respect you enough to not lie about it."

"Well that's rather cold."

"Then I suppose we are."

izzyapricot

"whats your dream job" brother i am not dreaming about employment

theaawalker

Alternatives to "Heard"

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When the sound is sudden or startling:

Flinched at Started at Jolted at Was met with Was struck by Was greeted by Recoiled at Winced at Was interrupted by Was jarred by

When they're listening carefully:

Listened to Focused on Hung on Attended to Tuned into Followed Tracked Strained to hear Zeroed in on Locked onto

When the sound is confusing or uncertain:

Thought they heard Could've sworn they heard Believed they heard Mistook Half-heard Barely caught Couldn't quite make out Failed to catch Wasn't sure they heard Wondered if they'd heard

When they're eavesdropping:

Overheard Caught Listened in on Eavesdropped on Picked up Managed to hear Listened through the wall Caught snippets of Made out Secretly listened to

When they're emotionally affected by the sound:

Absorbed Took in Froze at Processed Balked at Recoiled from Welcomed Clung to Hung on every word of Sat with

When the sound is overwhelming:

Was bombarded by Was engulfed by Was surrounded by Was drowned in Endured Sat through Couldn't escape Was assaulted by Was consumed by Was overwhelmed by

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Follow me if this was helpful :)

promptcalender

Filler Words to Cut from your Writing

start / begin ➙ they either do or don't do an action, even if it is interrupted

somehow ➙ find a way to describe it or, if it matters that they don't know how something happened, make it its own sentence. somehow is very lackluster

that ➙ if the sentence makes sense after you remove it, do it

useless modifiers (really, very, certainly, probably, actually, quite, ...) ➙ emphasis on useless: many can be helpful, but many are not

dialogue tags ➙ don't cut them always, but you can leave them out or replace them with action tags for more variety

down / up ➙ often times they are not needed (I sat down vs. I sat)

wonder, think, realize, understand, feel ➙ especially in narration, these are signs of telling, not showing. Instead of "I wondered where he was." you can write "Where was he?"

"There is/was..." ➙ very formulaic and getting rid of as many as possible will make for more variety in sentence structures

Find your own! Every writer will have individual habits, so when you are proofreading your stuff, try to notice your own patterns. Feel free to add onto this post :)

Disclaimer: these words definitely can be very useful when they are used intentionally, especially if they are not overused. When I say to "cut" these words, I mean to question whether they are strengthening or weakening the sentence in every instance.

[Prompt Calender: July 23rd, International Yada, Yada, Yada Day]

guerrillatech

oldmanpusspuss

everybody love me. except for all my haters. who will be dealt with.

tokkibean

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

harpyharpyharpy

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

homunculus-argument

Actually the monkeys have unionised. That's their circus now.

kaiserin-erzsebet

*takes the hand of a period drama writer gently* A queen consort is not a queen regnant. A dowager queen is not a queen regnant either.

There is very little intrinsic institutional power in queenship. The power a consort, dowager, or queen mother has depends mostly on how much the reigning sovereign (usually a man) is willing to grant her. Needing a queen to serve as regent is exceptionally rare, and the regent is more often a male relative.

I know this is a bit of a bummer. I'm sorry.

kaiserin-erzsebet

For clarity:

Queen regnant: woman who rules in her own right, not on behalf of someone else.

Regent: Someone who temporarily assumes the powers of the monarch on account of the monarch being too young or too incapacitated to govern.

Queen consort: Woman who is married to the monarch.

Dowager queen: Woman who was married to the monarch. The monarch is dead, and she is owed support as his widow.

Queen mother: Woman who is the mother of the monarch. Usually the dowager queen, though there are exceptions if there isn't a straight line of succession.

stealingpotatoes

how rogue one probably goes in the rebel padmé/ galaxy's messiest divorce au

(commission info // tip jar!)

squarebracket-trickster

"Readers have SHORT attention spans! The average reader takes just TWO sentences to decide whether to put a book down! You have to HOOK them in the FIRST sentence! GRAB them by throat and don't let them BREATHE—"

... have... have we considered that perhaps the average reader just, like, knows what they like in a book? I mean... first sentences are famous for establishing things like *checks notes*... genre, tone, POV, pacing, character, voice, uhhh... writing style...

The average reader is putting your book down because they discovered it's in first person (or not in first person). The average reader put your book down because they wanted a cozy read, or they're sick of cozy reads, or romance, or grimdark, or assassin princesses, or vampires, or or or. The average reader put your book down because they just didn't like your writing style—no, not because it was boring... they just, get this, didn't like it.

The average critical reader put your book down because it had six grammatical mistakes in the first two sentences.

The average reader will read quite a ways if the premise intrigues them, they like the genre, the writing style doesn't get on their nerves, and the characters pop off the page. In fact, they'll probably read the whole book, so long as it delivers on its plot promises and doesn't drag in the middle section.

The average reader will, however, stop reading after just two sentences if it's clear by the second sentence that the only thing they'll like about this book is the opening line.

squarebracket-trickster

Idk, I just think like, painting a demographic of people who, you know, pick up full length books to read for fun, as having short attention spans doesn't make too much sense. At least not as much sense as the alternative: words tell people things; namely, the contents of this book.

In general, though, I think we jump to blame short attention spans too often when there is a far more logical explanation. "It takes 0.06 seconds for viewers to scroll past a post." Yes, that is typically how long it takes me to discern whether this post is about something I'm interested in. There's a trillion posts out there, probably a billion books, of course we've gotten fast at sorting through content. That's not an attention span issue. That's just efficiency.