Hi I've a question, how do you get over shame with regards to regressing?
I regress unintentionally and always feel extremely sad and hate feeling that way during it. I assume childhood trauma and a build up of stress around the time when it happens. Finding this Tumblr community helps make me not sad during regression and then I snap out of it.
I don't feel pride or joy in my regression. I also don't have anyone to talk to about this? I'm older than everyone else on here in their early 20s. I'm old, I'm married. My partner didn't sign up for this and is uncomfortable with helping me or 'caregiving'.
I am too ashamed to admit this to anyone even my therapist.
Hi,
First off, I want to say that you're very much not alone. I struggle with shame/guilt when it comes to my regression and it's a very hard thing to deal with. There are not very many agere safe spaces that I know of, aside from Tumblr, so that can make the shame and guilt feel even bigger because we don't have spaces to talk about this very vulnerable part of ourselves.
I think it mainly comes down to reassuring yourself that you're not doing anything wrong. Even if you only feel sad and upset during your regression, it's okay to feel that way. It might be uncomfortable and frustrating, but if that's how you feel and that's how you cope with big emotions, then that is okay. I think a lot of us get stuck on the narrative that regression needs to be happy all the time, but for most of us, that's not the case. Especially when it comes to processing childhood trauma.
I understand how isolated you must feel in regards to your age. I'm in my upper 20s and a lot of the regressors around me are in their early teens. I think it also adds to the shame and the guilt of it all when we don't see others our age coping in the same way. But that doesn't mean we're doing anything wrong. How we cope is perfectly normal and healthy.
Lastly, I think you should bring this up with your therapist. You don't have to, but I think they might be able to give better advice than I can. Not every therapist will know about regression (mine doesn't) but most know about inner child healing. It'd be worth a shot to at least talk a little bit about it, maybe they'd be able to help.
I'm really sorry if my advice wasn't that great, but like I said, I still struggle with shame myself so I haven't quite figured out how to get past it yet. I really want to thank you for asking this, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Take care.
Ohoho mood swings. I was having like a serious trauma-response anxiety attack all day triggered by a nightmare, and just after mostly calming down I got really excited talking to a friend n helping him grasp something I like a lot, and now he's gone offline without warning and my brain is pummeling me with this intense feeling of rejection and I am. Ohhh I am having a Bad time
You have two OCs, Badger & Beaver, who you said are both Jewish so I have some questions about that. Are their parents Jewish? How connected to their religion are they? Do they follow traditions like Kosher & celebrate holidays like Rosh Hasannah or Hanukkah? What does their religion mean to them? What branch of Judaism do they follow or come from?
note: i am not jewish. i have done research on judaism for my characters & my own benefit (education, future decisions, being a better ally). if any of my jewish followers want to correct anything i got wrong, please do.
—±—±—±—
1) their parents (alexis & romi) are both born & raised jewish. i think the correct ethnic term for them would be romaniote jewish because they're both from greece, but theyʼd both be polytheist leaning? if anyone has a better explanation or corrections about this, feel free to comment them.
2a) badger did hours worth of research into judaism which kickstarted her love & pride to be jewish. three hours into the research she felt that a sense of belonging with her heritage as a jewish person, something that she can hold onto thatʼs permanent & not something that can be easily taken away from her as easy as blowing out a match.
2b) beaver would feel confused & uncertain about judaism at first (growing up in a cult kind of warped his view on religion, plus he was just reunited with his parents) but heʼd warm up to it, eventually embracing it as a part of who he is & as a way to feel closer to his sister & to his parents, also.
3a.) badger follows kashrut as best as she can, but she makes mistakes -- she forgets what is & is not kosher, preparation rules, forgets to remind others what she can & cannot eat, mixes up different terms -- so when she gets a phone she sets reminders & puts sticky notes everywhere to remind her (but eventually beaver catches on & reminds her also).
3b) beaver is already vegetarian with a pretty small palate on what he does & doesn't eat but he does also follow kashrut & double checks the foods he's eating are considered kosher (which is already covered by his sister, but he knows badger forgets things so he checks just in case).
3c) both of them are uncomfortable holidays generally due to trauma, but they do join their parents for:
purim
passover (pasech)
rosh hashanah (yom teruah)
sukkot
however, neither join their parents for hanukkah due to both being too tense from anxiety surrounding the november - december months to be able to enjoy themselves, so the two stay home. their parents understand this so they don't push for the two to join, wanting their children to be comfortable.
4a) both believe their religion is kind of a bridge to the gap between them thatʼs been present for years -- itʼs their connection to family, healing & self. i hope thatʼs a good answer because this one stumped me for a bit haha.
5a) traditionally (if thatʼs the right word?) theyʼd both be romaniote jewish because of their parents, but due to being demigods, i believe theyʼd both be polytheist leaning like their parents (once again, please feel free to correct my phrasing).
the amount of trans men that i know/knew have experienced abuse and hold some trauma. it would be great if they could have gotten help for it before being pushed onto hormones. i know with my experience -- i mentioned abuses and trauma and they did nothing about it, no therapy, no help, and put me on hormones. i know i am not the only one this has happened to.
women should get help for traumatic experiences and abuses, not be pushed onto hormones as some "cure". especially when said abuse and trauma can very well be the cause for their dysphoria. it needs to be spoken about and not ignored.
