#traumatic relationship

[ruielthecreatorofideas]

Was it Even Love if There was a Cost?

Is love supposed to cost my self-esteem?

Is love supposed to cost my every dream?

Is love supposed to cost my very essence?

Is love supposed to cost my chance at feeling present?

Is love supposed to cost my humanity?

Is love supposed to cost my grip on reality?

Is it even love if there is a cost?

Do you even realize what I lost?

Do you know who I am now?

Do you even realize the how?

The hurt you caused me

I asked you to leave me be

Is love supposed to cost my heart and mind?

Is love supposed to make me feel like I was left behind?

Is love supposed to cost my dignity?

Is love supposed to cost my sanity?

Is love supposed to cost my every breath?

Is love supposed to give me only loneliness?

Is it even love if there is a cost?

Do you even realize what I lost?

Do you know who I am now?

Do you even realize the how?

The hurt you caused me

I asked you to leave me be

Is love supposed to leave me haunted?

Is love supposed to make me feel unwanted?

Is love supposed to cost my personality?

Is love supposed to warp my reality?

Is love supposed to leave me scarred?

Is love supposed to be so hard?

[space-ghosts-cry]

You wanted a graceful reaction to the abuse and manipulation. And when it wasnt I became the monster.

[grayagenda]

Mihoshi and Kiyone give me anxiety

Re: Tenchi Universe Episode 12: "Time and Space Adventures"

I honestly thought Mihoshi was simply a nuisance to Kiyone, that there was a wholesome fondness between them that could constitute a nice little ship if Kiyone should wish for something beyond career ambition.

Then I saw Kiyone's AU in the fishing village.

Her reaction to Miho's reappearance made me feel cold: fear terrible enough to make her legs buckle. Petrified silence as Miho cries and embraces her, asking "where have you been?" A secret escape into the night, willingness to give up her comfortable, happy life just to get away from Miho.

This is a traumatized woman. Miho is a parasite.

They're in more or less every episode of this anime. I want to fucking cry.

[ruielthecreatorofideas]

If I did something to you, what did you do to me first?

If I did something to you, would it make me the worst?

If I did something, does it make what you did okay?

If I did something, does it not ruin my own day?

If I did nothing, would I still feel guilt for it?

If I did nothing, would you still call me out on it?

If I said something, would you write it in blood?

If I said something, would that make you be able to play god?

If I said nothing, would you still ruin me?

If I said nothing, would that stop your apathy?

If I cried, would you still be able to ignore it?

If I cried, would you still laugh at me for it?

If I tried to get away, would you have mercy for me?

If I tried to get away, would you understand how much you hurt me?

If I told everyone the truth, would they ever believe what I have to say?

If I told everyone the truth, and what you did to me day after day...

If I let you go, would you still haunt me?

If I let you go, would you still taunt me?

If I pushed you out, would you truly leave my mind?

If I pushed you out, would they understand that I was forced to leave her behind?

If I screamed and shouted, would they hear my cries?

If I screamed and shouted, would they understand that your words were all lies?

If I showed them the pain I have to live with, would they ever forgive you?

If I showed them the pain I have to live with, would they still adore you?

If I could fix myself, I would've done it a long time ago.

If I could fix myself, you wouldn't have been anyone I know.

If I could rewind the clock, could I erase the pain?

If I could rewind the clock, would I still go insane?

If I saved myself, would you still be the one painting me as a villain?

If I saved myself, would you still believe that I was ever willing?

If I changed my personality, would I truly be me?

If I changed my personality, would they understand what you did to me?

If I showed them the truth, would they understand?

If I showed them the truth, would it still go as you planned?

If I could undo what was done, where exactly would I be now?

If I could undo what was done, would I really be able to understand when someone asks me "how?"

[space-ghosts-cry]

Today. I'm making the decision to give up on you. And move on.

I'll miss the idea of you.

Knowing you was exhausting. And trying was painful.

It's okay. You won't even know I'm gone.