This totally happened during book 3 trust
Jade: wait for it. wait for it.
Jade: 9:01, tridant queensley is officially late for the first time ever.
Jade: alright let's do this, who's got theories?
Ace: er, alarm didn't go off?
Jade: really? All three alarms all with batter backup? C'mon who wants to take this seriously?
Floyd: ooh, he was taken in his sleep!
Jade: that's what I'm talking about, super dark Floyd. But way more plausible then ace's idiotic alarm clock theory.
Deuce: i bet he tucked himself into bed too tight and got stuck.
Grim: maybe he fell into another dimension where he's interesting?
Azul: it's 9 am, why is nobody working?
Jade: tridant queensley is a few minutes late, and we're all trying to guess why.
Azul: I'd like to play.
Azul: I'd say he's in line... At Sam's shop.
Azul: this is fun
Jade: it is fun, but you're all wrong.
Jade: he clearly slipped down a manhole cover and is having a terrible time with a moleman.
Tridant, rushing in:
Jade: there he is. Tridant, where have you been? We've been worried sick!
Jade: do you care to explain yourself?
Tridant: I'm just 70 seconds late. It's not a big deal, don't worry about it.
Azul: queensley, you will tell us, and you will tell us now.
Tridant: ....there was a problem in Sam's shop.
Azul: HOT DAMN-
Brooklyn 99 your quotes are long as fuck but damn are they funny













