#trustfreelygiven

[loving-war]

Of the current gods in the palace, what is your fantasy threesome and what would your role be?

Of the current gods there are only Order, Trust, Pride, and Destroyer. I suppose Pride would want to be the center of attention or something. Order would be with Vengeance so who cares. Destroyer doesn’t partake in anything. Trust is taken.

And fantasies are for the living. I don’t waste my time on those.

[loving-war]

MFK: Order, Trust, Pride

Well I’ve already killed Order once, no point in doing it again. 

Pride, is there, but I have no ill-will towards him nor do I harbor feelings towards him so none of the above apply.

And with Trust…he’s with Bee. It doesn’t matter.

[loving-war]

Please...Just Don't Tell ll War & Trust

It had been what? Two days? Weeks?! War hadn't been able to perform, not properly with Venny and he knew why. She wasn't a man she wasn't fill-UGH! War rolled his head and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to calm himself. He tried to keep calm. This wasn't something that was worth throwing his marriage away for.

But the itch that he couldn't scratch just kept getting worse and even his toys couldn't satisfy the way he knew the other god could. The way he was so carelessly played with and then left wanting. No one had ever been able to do that to him. No one that he felt so safe with that was. No one that had ever left alive. A shiver ran down his spine as he remembered the way Trust had handled him. How the other had just pinned him and mocked him. How great it had felt.

"No!" War yelled out, his aggression starting to get the better of him as the edge was wearing thin and his need for another dose of...order was taking control. How funny he would have thought that had be stopped to think about it. But he couldn't. Not now. Not when he was owed a favour. And he was so so close to getting what he wanted. No. What he needed. His body ached for it like it had never ached for anything, or at least not for a while.

War climbed off the bathtub wall and out into the hallway. He knew there was no hunters in the palace at this hour, and even if there were he would destroy them easily. He didn't have time to play games today. He didn't even have time to dress in palace clothing, as he traveled to Trust's quarters in his jeans and a hoodie. A thin soft shirt lay against his skin, and he didn't even have shoes to speak of as he rushed through the palace in the middle of the night.

He needed this. Needed to get his fix. Needed to feel whole and weak and not have to think for once in his life. Needed it so badly, in fact, that it didn't even occur to him that Bee might have been rooming with Trust. All that mattered was that he would get what he needed and be done with it. He would arrange another meeting after if Trust was as good as War imagined, the price for such a meeting was of no consequence.

Finally arriving at his destination, War didn't hesitate to knock. Raising his shaking fist he delivered three swift and soft knocks to the door and waited. When he didn't get a response quick enough for his hyperactive mind and body he knocked thrice more, a bit louder. He shoved his hands into his pockets and started pacing, muttering to himself as he tried to stay calm. Tried to stay standing. Resisted the urge to follow the men, whom he had put in his position before, and kneel before the door as he waited. But he wasn't sure he could resist much longer.

[betray-me-not]

Laying Bare the Soul (Bee & Trust)

Curling up in the oversized leather chair in her study, Betrayal picked up the pen and paper she had put on the table next to her upon entering the room. The tip of the pen hovered over the blank page but she didn't know where to start. Where did you begin when you needed to try to ask for forgiveness? She glanced across the room to where a full bottle of scotch sat next to a clean glass. It would be so easy to fill the glass and drink until she was numb, but she wasn't going to do that. As much as it hurt, and gods did it hurt, she was going to stay clear-headed while she faced what was in her head and heart. She took a deep breath and began to write.

Dear Trust,

First off, I'm alive. I would say I'm okay, but that wouldn't be the complete truth. I haven't been okay for a long time. But  I'm alive and I mean to stay that way. That wasn't always the case even here recently, but it's the truth now. 

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to be hurt. And I'm not just talking about you being poisoned by the hunter. I mean, I never meant to abuse the trust you had in me. I never meant to break your heart.

I want to ask you to forgive me, but I don't know if I have that right. I want to ask you for a chance to explain what I did, to explain why I am the way I am, but I know you don't owe me a chance to explain anything. I want to trust you and to hopefully renew your trust in me even if you never feel for me the way you did before I left.

I guess...I guess I'm just asking for help. And you don't know how hard that is for me. I want to believe that I can be okay, that everything will be okay--between us, for all the gods, everything. 

I'm not ready to see anyone. I think that it would be easier to tell you what I want to tell you in writing because I'm scared that if I see you, I'll break down and never get a word out. And I owe you an explanation. I owe it to you--and to myself--to be honest about everything. I've put a PO box number where you can send replies on the envelope. Please don't try to find me yet. I want to come back. I want to come home, but I'm not ready yet.

--Bee

[betray-me-not]

Demons (Betrayal & Trust)

Betrayal had hidden herself away in her rooms the past couple of days, eating very little and sleeping even less. All she could think about was her meeting with Destroyer. She knew she needed to end her agreement with Trust. The last thing he deserved was to be dragged into the complete fuckery that was her life. And if Destroyer found out she'd agreed to work with Trust, he would be in danger. 

As much as she hated the idea of having to severe the new relationship, partnership, whatever it was called, she had with Trust, she knew it had to be done. She just hoped he would understand.

Summoning a servant early in the morning, she had him take a note to Trust asking him to meet her in one of the gardens surrounding the palace. It was far enough away to hide them from prying eyes and ears, especially from those belonging to Destroyer and any who worked for him. She'd taken a shower and dressed comfortably in worn jeans and a t-shirt with the image of one of the 'gods' the humans on Earth seemed to like before walking out to the garden she'd specified. 

She paced as she waited, trying to convince herself that what she was going to do was the best for everyone involved. If it was weird that she already missed Trust, she didn't allow herself to think too deeply on what that meant.