#trusting someone

[trash-iest]

Private life; public blog

[unnecessary-database]

Ok ok so I know this whole fandom would all die for Katie McGrath and everything but hear me out on this one:

If there were ever a reboot or whatever, Asian Lena.

Lena who gets made fun of not just for being rich but for being Asian and smart and fitting all those dumb stereotypes, all the hurt compounded over because she doesn’t even look like all the white neighbors and plenty of them are totally racist;

Lena who Lillian hates doubly for not even looking like part of the family;

Lena who’ll be Gemma Chan gorgeous one day but literally no one cares, they’re all horrible in plenty of ways and despite Lillian having assured Lena is as Americanized as can be the racial differences do not help

Lena who expects plenty of venom from everyone not just because she’s a Luthor but because of how she looks. Lionel’s bastard daughter that doesn’t even look like him, doesn’t look like the white board executives do;

Lena who has an absolutely incredible sense of humor is and well-traveled around the world, but people only ever think she’s dry and dull ask if she’s been to China (or wherever someone thinks she might be from).

Lena whose story of her mother being shoved aside for Lionel’s rich white wife in the Luthor Mansion is doubly realistic. Lena who’s got one more obstacle in her way when people go to judge her.

(I am not Asian nor am I adopted, despite being tight with plenty who are one are both and Lena reminds me of them sometimes, so please let me know if any of this is problematic or not cool in any way)

[quotewordsunquote]

Noah: If you need to ask that question, then you probably already know the answer.

taken from: An Anonymous Girl, Greer Hendricks

[wwickedspirits]

maybe i should just go to a real therapist

[anything-advice-blog]

Submission - Ali

Hi, so I’ve had a really rough year with lot’s of trauma (sexual assault, homeless in a foreign country, horrific natural disaster in a foreign country etc.) which led to an addiction to prescription drugs in said foreign country where they were easy to get. I came home to university and struggled to deal without the prescription drugs (I ran out) and due to family stress, uni stress, the stress of what happened overseas and also was sick quite a lot leading to me having surgery I ended up spiralling without my prescription drugs as they are a lot harder to get in my country (became depressed, started having lot’s of one night stands, heavy drinking, procrastinating, used a few illicit drugs which is unlike me and just overall went overboard a few time). So the current situation is that now I am at university and living in a residential university building where each floor has a ‘designated person’ to go to if you’re struggling with anything. I knew my 'designated person’ from the time I moved in - he’s a very sweet, funny, friendly, easy going person who is friends with everyone and a complete gentleman. We’d see each other around a fair bit and have our little jokes and we had the sort of relationship that was friendly would have a chat every now and then, he’d help me out with little things from time to time etc but never would “hang out” - he’s three years older and already has his own friend group and life etc. I think I started to like him and thats one of the reasons why I trusted him so much because twice I’ve had a breakdown in front of him (he had to take me to hospital once due to risk of OD-ing and the other time I broke down crying and told him everything that was happening - my addiction to prescription drugs, what had happened overseas, how I have been wanting to kill myself etc..) and he was always very calming, dealt with it very well, would hug me, let me cry on his shoulder etc. tell me that he’s here for me, he’d call me a friend of his and how he cares about me etc. Also friends of his from home have similar issues so he can relate to my addiction issues rather well. The issue is that when I’m with him and we’re talking about stuff - even normal everyday stuff - I feel great or better but then he goes away and I feel lonely and guilty for forcing him into be my friend because until this whole situation happened we never hung out but now he says like lets go out for coffee so we can catch up because I want to see how you’re going ( as one time I messaged him when I was really upset) and he says let me know when you want to do this again (as in going out for coffee) - even though he has exams and work and lot on - and I feel so guilty because he’s only helping me and being my friend because it’s his job but I am so upset because I depend on him so much and he’s moving out next year, it’ll no longer be his job and I won’t be able to depend on him without being a complete burden and annoying him, which I already feel like I’m doing. I just don’t know what to do. I feel so guilty and angry at myself and just sad because I feel the one person I depend on doesn’t care at all, but I’m worried that when he moves out if he does just walk away (I know he’ll still ask me how I am whenever we run into each other) it’ll kill me and be enough to tip me over the edge to suicide. What should I do? Should I trust him when he says he cares for me and is my friend, or should I start cutting him out and learning to deal with this all by myself. sorry this is so long, thank you xx

Hey Ali, 

With what you went through, I’m confident when I say that it twisted your sense of trust in people. It made you more insecure and it made you form stronger attachments to people you come to trust. I’m sure if you ask those who have been through what you did, you’ll realise that your thoughts aren’t at all that strange. 

I don’t think you need to cut him out of your life. We think that by being alone and learning to deal with things ourselves make us strong but it doesn’t. It makes us weaker. It makes us runner. We don’t face problems as we see them. We run away and avoid them. Learning to trust people, learning to acc

Sept that by trusting someone means that you’re exposing yourself for pain, learning to to accept that is strength. I know how scary it can be when you’ve been brought to your ends and one more disappointment can actually tip you over. 

However, instead of using this as an excuse to not accept help, why not use it as a mean to accept help? Have you seemed out professional help for all that you’ve been through? Are you consulting a professional? If you’re not, I highly recommend you do. By getting help, you learn to heal from old wounds. You learn to trust again in people and you learn ways that you can recover if your heart is ever broken, by a friend or a lover. You learn that although you may fall off your bike sometimes, although it’ll hurt like hell, the wounds will heal and you’ll learn to get back on that bike. 

My professor once told me that we have to believe that no one is inherently evil. No one’s trying to be an intentional ass. So if he’s nice to you, isn’t worth the benefit of the doubt that he’s sincere? Isn’t that worth believing in? What kind of life do we lead if we learn to only see the worst in people? Its easy to do that when life has been so horrible to you, but I promise you it’s a lot more interesting when you learn to see the good in people. 

So do yourself a favour and get professional help. Do yourself a favour and accept his friendship. Do yourself a favour and allow yourself to be loved by others. Allow yourself to love others. Allow yourself to put your heart on your sleeve and feel. Happiness can only exist if sadness does. You can’t have one without the other. So you’ll meet people who will make you happy but accept that you’ll meet people who will make you sad. However, allow yourself to learn from it, become better from it, and become stronger because of it. And this can happen, it’ll take time and work, but it’s possible. 

Always by your side,

Kelly

[sndquotes-blog]

100 Trusting Someone Quotes To Help You Make Informed Decisions http://wp.me/p7CdT3-1g7

[vickxen]

Oh man I miss being in a relationship

[furtherwrongfuljk]

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