#ts brain

[loganslowdown4]

Logan: Patton, here’s something I did that’s NORMAL.

Logan: And here’s the same thing that you did that you THINK is normal.

Logan: Do you see the problem?

Patton: I do. I do.

Patton: I’m sorry you’re so boring, but I love you and I support your right to be that way.

[expolikestoart]

Fam-ILY au headcanons post!

listen I love them a lot and I want to talk about them even if no one else really cares

Character Designs

Sleepover/Movie Night for the boys

The Picani Family

the Picanis have a day once every week where they all watch a few episodes of Avatar together. tis law.

Emile is genderfluid!! So sometimes they're Patton and Dee's dad, sometimes they're thier mom, sometimes they're their ren. Patton and Dee tend to just call them their dad though, just cause it's easier to explain to the other kids. And it doesn't cause Emile any issues so they don't mind. They were a pronoun braclet a lot. (tbh they're really just happy their kids sees them as a role model.) (He/Him, She/Her, They/Them, depends on the day)

Patton likes to play with his stuffed animals a lot!

his favorite blanket is his weighted blanket

Dee is HoH so the entiree family knows ASL and he wears hearing aids.

Dee's very passionate about octonauts and his favorite episode was the coral reef snake one. (his favorite character is tweak)

Patton and Dee are bio siblings but they're both adopted by Emile. Emile had a partner during the adoption but they broke up a few years later and he(the partner) never offically had any custody.

at the start of the storyline (maybe writing a fic) they just moved and Emile and him broke up.

Emile keeps pictures of them in his wallet and Will talk about them whenever someone asks.

Emile is a children's therapist in this AU, and specifically works with kids who deal with learning disabilities.

The Kingsley Family

When Remy was like. 17 he got in a relationship with this one girl and they did the do. When the twins were born, she left. He hasn't heard from her since.

His family wasn't that supportive except his Great Aunt Becca who's a wonderful woman. She lived with her partner for years until she died a year or two before Remy moved in.

So they all live with her now.

Roman likes to sew little costumes for his stuffed animals. Remy helps.

Roman begged Remy to let him join dance classes. Remy doesn't currently have the money to take so he's saving up to let him.

Remus is in that weird kid phase? You know the one where they're weirdly obsessed with like. Death and witches and shit? He's in that phase.

He also makes "potions" and shit outta stuff in the kitchen. 50% of them are probably poisonous. Remy lets him drink absolutely none of them.

Remy's Bi and proud. He hasn't really dated anyone since he was 17 but. He's open to dating again. But only if his boys like them.

Remy works at a few different places. He's the manager at a coffee shop when the boys are at school and at night when they sleep he works at a gas station. Neither has great pay but he's doing his best.

Roman and Remus have very active imaginations. It has led to them waking up Remy or Becca due to monsters in the closet more than they like.

Disney! And! Pixar! Movie! Nights!

Remy and Aunt Becca have most definitely made scrapbooks of the boys together. (even though Remy might deny it to keep up his tough guy image)

The Cogsworth Family

Brian showed the boys some of Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Logan fell in love with the show immediately. Virgil doesn't like it as much but he likes to see Logan excited so he watches it too.

Virgil freaking Loves Gravity Falls though. He likes to try and find monsters in the apartment complex and nearby park. He swears he heard a hide behind once. (Brian played the sound effect on his phone and placed a speaker in a tree to make him happy)

Logan only likes certain textures with clothes so Brian makes sure that when they go clothes shopping Logan feels them first.

Logan has a prosthetic foot (it doesn't show in the family portrait because his socks and shoes cover it up) ((he also has a barbie doll because her leg was a prosthetic))

Virgil likes to draw a lot, especially monsters and stuff that he sees on tv. It's really cute looking half of the time but sometimes it kinda worries Brian.

Brian is Trans! And Aro/Ace. The kids are his. He had them pre-transition. His family wasn't supportive of him transitioning so he doesn't really talk to them. Has been on T for 5 years. (He/Him)

Brian's a bit of a space nerd so he likes to watch documentaries on them and the kids will often curl up on him and watch too.

Brian's compiter has a metric fuckton of baby photos of the boys!

They go to the park because he tries to keep them as healthy as possible and hopefully his kids will make friends. Both are painfully shy.

He's a security guard/Janitor for Walmart's l a t e shifts.

The Sanders Family

Thomas isn't adopted y e t but god is Anton working on the paper work for that because bitch that's their son now and they love him.

Thomas still is the goofy guy we know, happy, enjoys Disney, likes to sing and stuff.

Since Thomas is old enough to join the school choir he did and he loves it.

Anton and Thomas met the others because Emile was Thomas's therapist and once Anton asked Emile the best thing he could do for their kid and Emile commented on how that they knew it was scary, cause they had the same thoughts when they adopted their kids.

Emile is no longer Thomas's therapist due to him no longer being impartial since that's his kids friend and that's kinda iffy so now their friend is.

Anton is nb and pan-romantic ace. (He/Him, They/Them)

Both of them are kinda chaotic at times and sometimes you can find the two of them trying desperately to bake but there's batter on the ceiling and flour in Anton's hair. (they can't bake but anton can cook so it's okay)

When Thomas gets adopted all the others will be invited to see the signing.

Thomas didn't get to watch most Disney movies while in Foster care so Anton is showing him everything.

He also didn't get to see the Barbie movies so guess what else he's watching because Anton insists.

Anton still has an appreciation for fine arts and has a painting hanging up in his Living room framed and right next to it in just as fancy a frame is a drawing Thomas made. (it's a family portrait that Thomas made with stick figures. When he gave it to Anton, Anton c r i e d.)

Thomas has two friends from before he writes to, Joan and Tayln. He writes them letters every few days. They write back and everytime he gets one he's like!!!!!

Anton's the most well off of anyone in the squad so he tends to give gifts to the others when they find something.

All of them

The Parent Group are all very supportive of their kids interests, and also have meetups while the boys have playdates where the drink they're preferred hot drink (Emile likes Tea, Remy and Anton like Coffee, and Brian likes Apple Cider) and bitch about the shitty PTA moms and work (not emile though he loves his job and has patient confidentiality so... no)

Roman and Logan both love Percy Jackson but in different ways. Logan read all the books. Roman read the comic book adaptions and listened to the Lightning Thief Musical.

Virgil and Patton like to hunt for monsters together in the apartment complex and park but everytime it happens they both get a little scared and run if something actually looks spooky.

When all the kids became friends they had Patton teach them ASL secretly for a couple of months to surprise Dee. They showed Dee and he c r i e d. Happy tears of course but he was so surprised that all of them learned that for him.

Virgil, Dee, Remus, and Roman all have the same Recess break on the little kids playground so they play pretend together a lot. Usually it's Roman and Virgil vs Remus and Dee, but sometimes they switch it up.

Patton, Thomas, and Logan are the Big Kids, but also are kinda the weird kids too so they don't have much friends outside of the group. But it's okay, because they got each other and they like to hang out.

Patton has punched some kids cause they made fun of either his friends or Dee or maybe his Dad. He will throw hands. Logan might hold him back. Thomas will hold him back but only after a punch or two.

Remy once joked about having one brain cell in front of the kids and all the kids who weren't his got very alarmed and started to make him realize he was smart but Roman and Remus went: yeah you do. He's never been so heavily burned before or since.

Roman and Remus don't do the weird twins finishing each other's sentences thing but Logan and Virgil do.

Patton still makes puns but not good ones because kid's humor is nonsensical so half of the time he'll go up to Logan and Thomas and try them on them and every time they're both like "???? what did you just say????????"

They will all go and do fashion shows where Roman and Remus will take the others and drape them in sheets and cutains and blankets and have everyone walk the fake runway while someone sits out and judges.

Remus, Dee, and Virgil try to do magic together. It doesn't always go well but they try.

Roman, Patton, and Logan will try to play demigod but Patton has no clue what he's doing.

Roman and Remus showed Thomas some Disney sing alongs he could play on his tablet. Anton thinks their son has a lovely singing voice but also. they doesn't like hearing him sing at 6 am when they're barely awake. Can someone hold a grudge against a kindergartner? Ask Anton.

[thedemonshavemisplacedtheirgod]

Brian: Sometimes I can’t believe you two decided to move in together. Remy: Excuse me. We are both sophisticated adults. Nate: Yeah. Just yesterday we purchased a vegetable.

[thedemonshavemisplacedtheirgod]

Remy: Brian, how could you spend our money like this? Brian, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside Remy, they need this.

[thedemonshavemisplacedtheirgod]

Remy: *stands outside of Nate's window with a “PROM?” sign* Brian, leaning out of the window: Oh, my god! Yes! Remy: No! Tell Nate! Brian: NATE, I’M GOING TO PROM WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND.

[thedemonshavemisplacedtheirgod]

Brian: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Harley: Strong Nate: Weak Remy: An idiot is what you are

[thedemonshavemisplacedtheirgod]

The Demons Have Misplaced Their God - Part 2

“Get us out, get us out, get us out!” Harley’s screeching was not, in fact, helping, but he seemed to think it was.

Brian grabbed half of a porcelain plate from a dumpster knocked sideways onto the ground as they ran, and smashed it over Harley’s head. It only made him more hysterical.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OUT! THEY WOULD CATCH ME! I WOULD DIE! WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?”

“Because you won’t SHUT! UP!” Brian looked like he was about to continue when Nate grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him into an open doorway, covering his mouth with his hand. Remy grabbed Harley in a similar fashion, but Harley seemed to get over his need to destroy his own vocal chords and did not need to be smothered. The four slowed their breaths and listened to the sounds of footsteps--multiple people running after where they’d been shouting.

The hunters almost ran right past their admittedly rather terrible hiding place, but pivoted on their feet to face them. Time slowed around them and instead of whipping out their weapons and killing them instantly, they sluggishly reached for their knives and guns. 

Nate released Brian and sauntered over, reaching into their pockets and removing anything of interest, either breaking it or keeping it, tossing the broken, useless remains onto the ground. The hunters’ faces moved achingly slowly in reaction--horror, annoyance, the like. A few of the group had the audacity to look afraid. 

“It’s almost like they’ve never fought a demon before,” Remy noted, chuckling. With a wave of his hands they all fell asleep, oh-so-slowly falling to the ground in varying levels of discomfort. They would awake once the demons were good and far away.

“Why don’t we just kill them?” Brian whined. 

“Do you want a whole pack of hunters after us, instead of a few strays?” Remy asked. Brian backed down, but grumbled under his breath. 

“We can’t feed from them anyways,” Nate muttered. “They’ve poisoned themselves. Drank holy water.”

Remy let out a string of curses that would singe any self-respecting angel’s ears. “What the hell else are we supposed to eat? The people here are too damn paranoid to go out at night. And unless you wanna get maced, I don’t think we should try any of the dealers around here.”

Harley huffed. “Can’t even try a decent prostitute. Stupid city council cracking down on it being illegal, and all.”

“I mean, there’s that homeless shelter downtown,” Brian said. “We could try breaking in. They’re probably all asleep anyway.”

“I actually looked into that the other day,” Nate spoke. “They’ve got a silent alarm. We wouldn’t even know it before the cops were on us. And these days, they’re worse than the hunters.”

The rest muttered sounds of agreement as an uneasy silence settled on them like a sticky child’s blanket. As in, they really would rather be doing anything than continue to be touching such a silence. 

“So…” Brian bounced on his heels. “What are we gonna eat?”

-

Nate and Remy met at the turn of the century, at a millennium new year’s party. There were a few raised eyebrows exchanged, at first. After all, they both wore the same sunglasses indoors, and both wore leather jackets--although Nate kept his sleeves rolled up to his elbows at all times. Aesthetic was and is a crucial part of both of their lives, so the fact that they matched was an unpleasant revelation. And as they met in the corner of the room to discuss such pleasantries as who would be leaving and coming back in another outfit, they both recognized the indisputable, if hidden via powerful glamour, aura of a demon. 

As the ball dropped in Times Square and on the TV, the humans around them cheered and drank and Nate and Remy removed their sunglasses for the first time that evening and made out until the last of the human partiers vomited onto the couch and resolved to fix her alcohol problem this year. (She didn’t, but it’s the thought that counts, and at least she got the two weirdos in the back to stop snogging each other and leave.)

-

Their apartment didn’t have a lock, but it did exude residual demonic energy, and that worked well enough to ward off potential burglars. Not that they had much worthy of pilfering. Harley jiggled the door handle and slammed his full body weight into the door in an attempt to budge the stubborn thing. Remy leaned against the doorframe and ‘helped’ until it actually opened, and the four went in.

Inside, a dented old red boombox played ‘Best of Queen’, and a pair of identical young boys played Mario Kart on the stolen TV. They didn’t bother to look up at the adults as they wandered in. Nate sat on the couch next to them, humming in mild amusement as one boy blue-shelled the other. 

“Not sure how you can win or lose this one, Jobe,” Nate ruffled one boy’s hair, laughing as he was swatted away.

The game ended and the duo turned to their brother in the same kind of unison one would expect of twins in a horror movie, but not in real life.

“Did you bring food?” The image of two boys blurred until it seemed as though there may not have been any boys on the ratty old couch at all, and maybe it was just a smudge on your glasses? Only for the smudge to reform itself into one singular boy in-between where the separate boys sat, holding both controllers. 

“No luck,” Nate admitted. From somewhere in the barren kitchen, (for though food was a luxury, it was not one they could afford) he heard a frustrated huff that could have been from any of the other three housemates.

Jobe frowned, then tried to hide it, then decided it wasn’t worth it and just frowned. “We’re all gonna to starve at this rate!”

“Nah,” Nate reached out and took one of the controllers from the younger’s hand. “Ain’t gonna happen. Wanna play against someone who isn’t you?”

“Finally. Do you know how hard it is to beat myself?!”

“You’re such a braggart.”

-

Jobe was a surprise. But he was Nate’s baby brother, and while it may be the norm for humans, siblings are spectacularly rare among demonkind. (This is for various reasons, including but not limited to: demonkind’s lack of loyalty to former partners, often betraying each other before the opportunity to reproduce presents itself a second time, as well as their general dislike of children, particularly demonic ones.) So Remy accepted that as long as he and Nate were… whatever they were, he’d have to be around Jobe.

It turned out to be easier than he thought.

“I didn’t picture you as good with kids,” Nate had a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still dripping from his shower. Remy looked up from the carpet, where he and Jobe had taken toothpicks and rubber bands to set up a witchburning with Barbie as the accused. As it was, Elmo the witch hunter had already burned such known witchcraft practitioners as Potato Head Man, all three of the minions, and a particularly feisty Beanie Baby who had laid a curse upon all of Elmo’s descendants that probably wouldn’t come into play until after Jobe had taken a bath. However, the townsfolk were starting to get suspicious of Elmo’s credibility, as Barbie is a well-respected figure across all cultures. (That part had been Jobe’s idea, and Remy had wholeheartedly agreed. Elmo was getting greedy, and greedy humans--or muppets--had to pay eventually.)

“Sorry, we borrowed your cigarette lighter,” Remy handed back the object in question, gesturing to the melted remnants of one of Potato Head Man’s arms. “We’re having a witch hunt.”

Nate nodded solemnly, handing the lighter back to the closest of his five brothers, two of whom decided to reform one, bringing the count back down to four Jobe. (The plural of Jobe, of course, is Jobe. This is because no matter how many of him there is, at the end of the day Nate only has one brother, even if there are several of him.) 

“I always knew the minions were something unholy,” he commented, heading back to his room to get into his pajamas. 

-

After some cajoling, Jobe eventually went to bed, leaving the four adults to ponder their tragically familiar situation over the kitchen countertop.

“I’ve heard LA’s got a pretty good food chain system going,” Harley suggested.

“Big cities, easy no-go. Besides, I heard that’s a rumor the local hunting family there’s been spreading,” Brian rested his head in his hands, staring down at the fake marble as if it had snatched away his only birthday present.

“Ontario’s been quiet lately,” Remy mused dryly. 

Harley shivered. “Canada’s too cold for me.”

“You don’t have to come,” Brian rolled his eyes. 

“Please. What would you do without me?”

“Sleep, maybe.”

“Shut up,” Remy took off his sunglasses, rubbing his forehead to stave off a headache. “Nate? Anything?”

“...Orlando?”

“Big city, same problems,” Brian repeated.

“Florida’s not too bad, though. Not a lot of hunting.” Remy considered it. It could be nice. Maybe they could take Jobe to Disney. He’d be ecstatic.

“That’s because all the humans down there are old,” Brian huffed. “It’d be so… boring.”

“Boring is good, though.” Nate spoke to Harley and Brian, but he’d moved his sunglasses onto his head, and his eyes were having a silent conversation with the other leather-clad demon. “Boring is safe.”

Harley and Brian shared their own look: one of mutual distaste for the inherently romantic route this conversation had involuntarily taken.

[thedemonshavemisplacedtheirgod]

Brian: Welcome to my vlog, where I try different hair care products! Brian: *sprays hairspray in his mouth* Brian: Well, right off the bat, I can tell you this one is not very good.