seen from Spain
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from South Africa
seen from France
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from Germany
seen from Israel
seen from France
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
The worst part is that my mom isn't horrible. Shes loving and kind and wants the best for me. And that makes the yelling, the condescension, the passive aggressiveness, the judgement, the anger, the guilt tripping, the withdrawl, everything, sting so much more. I know you love me, but how am I meant to love you fully when all of your love feels like needles in my skin.
it feels like theres nothing inside me. i cant feel love. i cant feel sadness. i cant feel joy. this isnt even really me, is it. its just the body i happen to be inhabiting. i dont know who "me" is.
Maybe i would've turned out a better person if I wasnt taught that love could be revoked if I showed to much emotion or made a sinple mistake
I dont feel well. I just took a shower. Why am i so exhausted? I was wanting to practice some makeup for when i go back to school after i showered, but now that I did it just feels pointless. Im not going anywhere. I'll just be wasting makeup. I hate myself. I just want to lay down and die.
Trying to sleep but I cant because I keep thinking about the times me and my mom would argue before school and I made sure to say i love you before i left and she just stayed silent
The guilt is all consuming and my life is worthless
There is something deeply and inherently wrong with me and I dont know how to make it go away
Im not a good person. I dont deserve a friendship like theirs. I dont deserve to be loved by them. I dont deserve to be loved by anyone. I dont know why I haven't just left yet. It would be better for everyone. I wouldn't have to hurt anyone else. They wouldn't have to deal with me anymore.
