In the aftermath of a splintered door and shattered sink, Wally tends to his broken heart in the desert while Bruce runs out of options and is forced to loop Clark in.
Part of the Logan, Janus, Roman, Remus series / Happily Ever After Universe
CW for this chapter: non-graphic depictions of hospitals and birth defects
Remus sat with Arizona and Grace in the waiting room at the Fairview Behavioral Health clinic, waiting while her son, Pete, was evaluated for an emergency psych hold. The tiny room was stuffy and crowded, with several other families huddled around each other in little knots. There was a dingy check-in desk staffed by a tired-looking nurse and a set of double doors to her right. Every time those doors opened, each pair of eyes in the room would swivel over to see if their family's name would be called.
Arizona sat with her arm around Grace, murmuring questions too quietly for Remus to hear. Back at the tattoo parlor, after a quick set of introductions, they had all piled into Arizona's car. Remus had used Mapquest driving instructions he'd copied down from Arizona's computer to help navigate to the hospital, which was way out in a nearly rural area on the Eastside of Lake Washington. Now that they were here, though, Remus wasn't sure what he should be doing. He looked around the waiting room. Faces were tight and a few other people were quietly crying the way Grace was.
Remus noticed a wall covered in plastic document holders. He got up and looked closely. He pulled out one marked 'Schedule' and brought it over to Arizona. "Hey, Arizona ... Um, there's a whole buncha flyers like this over there," he pointed behind them. "I can get us one of each, if ..." His voice trailed off, thinking he was probably distracting her.
"This looks helpful, Remus, thank you. Can you get us a set? But first, could you find some water for Grace? I think I saw a machine back near the doors."
Remus nodded quickly and hurried to find the vending machine, glad to have something useful to do.
...
"Mr. Croft?"
Logan and Janus both stood, heads swiveling to face the doctor who had just stepped into the waiting room. Logan cleared his throat, "Yes, yes, that's me." Logan's eyes were wide, bouncing between the doctor's face and her body language, trying to glean whatever he could as quickly as possible.
The doctor smiled carefully, glancing quickly at the chart. "Mr. Croft, Virgil is in recovery. We were able to repair the defect in his diaphragm. Virgil will need to remain in the isolation NICU until his lungs properly expand and then we can take him off of ECMO." Logan stood perfectly still, eyes fixed on the doctor. Janus wasn't certain he was even breathing. "This is all good news, Mr. Croft," the doctor said, smiling a little more broadly. "Truly."
Logan nodded, breathing in. He swallowed dryly and adjusted his glasses. "When - ," he cleared his throat, pinching his mouth together for a moment, "When can I see him?"
"I can take you back for a gown and PPE now." She turned to Janus, "I'm afraid we only allow family inside. Your friend will - ,"
Logan looked at Janus with wide eyes. Before he could think too hard about it, Janus interrupted, "I'm his brother." Without looking at him, Janus reached over to grip Logan's shoulder, steadying him.
The doctor smiled and nodded. "Certainly. You're welcome to come inside, then. It's good for parents to have some support." She gestured to both of them, "This way."
As soon as the doctor turned, Janus met Logan's eyes, eyebrows raised high, wincing. Janus opened his mouth, ready to apologize, when Logan grasped Janus' arm with a small smile. "Thank you," he whispered. Janus sighed and smiled back.
...
Finally, after at least four hours of waiting, Grace was called back to meet with the evaluation team at Fairview. Only family were allowed in that part of the building, so Arizona and Remus sat together in the outer waiting room. Arizona was writing in a small brown notebook. Remus sat, knee bouncing until he became aware of it and he carefully pressed his heel into the floor. He had memorized the postings on the wall, including a yellowing "Your Medicaid Bill of Rights" sign that sounded truly horrific. If you have to put up a fucking sign that says you won't throw people in the street to die if they can't prove they can pay their hospital bill ... He shuddered. Remus turned to Arizona, looking for a distraction. "What are you writing down, anyway?"
Arizona wrote two more words before closing the book and smiling at Remus. "I'm getting down the name of the nurse who called Grace, along with what time she went back there." She blew out a quick breath. "It's really easy to forget details that might become important when you're in the thick of a crisis like this." She flipped through the book, showing Remus previous pages marked with little bulleted lists. "When we find out if Pete will be admitted ... we'll have a place to keep all the info."
Remus nodded, eyebrows knit. "You've come here a lot, I guess."
"Actually, this is my first time coming here to Fairview with Grace." Arizona's mouth turned down into a small frown. "The earlier entries in this book are from when Pete was young enough to be treated at Childrens' Hospital." She sighed. "This is his book." Remus nodded slowly, looking at the book with new understanding. The little notebook was more than half-filled with Arizona's writing. Remus' gaze wandered around the waiting room again. Arizona squeezed his hand, re-capturing his attention. "I really appreciate you coming with us, Remus." Arizona smiled and met his eyes. "Today's been a bit of a whirlwind, huh?"
Remus shrugged, "Yeah, I guess it has." He scratched at his mustache, remembering his earlier excitement. He bit at his thumbnail, knee bouncing again. He looked at Arizona. "I think I ...," Remus chewed at the inside of his cheek. "Do you think I should do it?"
She blew out a slow breath. "I think you should think about it. And not just say no right away." Remus nodded slowly at this. "It would be a big change ... but I also think this apprenticeship would be a huge opportunity for you. The US doesn't have this kind of game design program." She held out her hands, palm up, in a gesture of surrender. "And as much as I'd like to keep you forever at the shop, I think you're bound for bigger things. Dino certainly thinks so." Arizona squeezed his hand again. "But you don't have to decide yet. Think about it."
Remus nodded, biting at his lip. Arizona fished in her jacket and then pressed a piece of gum into his hand, winking. "Chew on this instead, Kid." He nodded thanks, popping the gum in his mouth and carefully flattening out the wrapper between his fingers. "When you were showing your book to Dino, I thought I saw some new sketches. Do you have anything you want to show me?"
"Oh, yeah, I do!" Remus beamed and he scrambled to retrieve his sketchbook from the bag tucked under his chair. He quickly opened it and started flipping through the pages. A loose sheet fell and Arizona bent to pick it up.
"You finished it," her voice quiet. "It's beautiful."
Remus saw she was holding his now-completed drawing of Janus in the library. He let out small sigh. "Yeah," he whispered. She examined his drawing for another moment then handed it back to him. Remus looked at the drawing while Arizona looked at him.
Finally she spoke again. "That's gotta be rough, Kid."
Remus peered up at her, squinting and shaking his head a bit. "What is?" She looked pointedly at the drawing in his hands, raising an eyebrow. "Oh ... " He sighed. "Yeah." He swallowed, looking down at the picture, gently rubbing his thumb around the edges, re-blending the graphite into the paper. He shrugged and sighed again, feeling that same crushing ache in the pit of his stomach, eyes fixed on the page. "It's getting better," he said with a little shrug. "I only think about him twice a day now," Remus chuckled darkly and Arizona put her arm around him, giving him a gentle squeeze and pressing a quick kiss on the side of his head.
...
Janus and Logan sat next to each other a few feet away from Virgil's incubator. Logan fidgeted with his right hand, rubbing his thumb against his fingers, fighting the urge to adjust his glasses or otherwise contaminate his gloved hands. A different doctor approached, pulling up a third chair to sit next to Logan. "Virgil is doing very well. His lungs are expanding now and he appears to have suffered no lasting damage."
Logan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, eyes squeezed shut. He sighed out, "Thank you." He swallowed and pressed his lips together, then returned his attention to the doctor. "When can he get off the ECMO?"
"We would like to try that now." He looked between Janus and Logan, twisting a pen in one hand. Janus watched him carefully with narrowed eyes. A shoe is about to drop. "This is actually the riskiest part of Virgil's treatment. If you wish, I can have someone escort you both back to the wait - "
Logan sat up straight and shook his head. "I am staying."
The doctor pressed his lips together, nodding. "Alright." He stood and caught the attention of another resident. "Let's proceed."
Janus and Logan watched as a small swarm of doctors and nurses approached Virgil, clamping off tubes and pressing buttons on the intimidating machine. A nurse announced readings from Virgil's vitals as they worked. Logan grew very still, staring at the activity. Janus was watching the expression of the nurse reading his vitals, looking for any tell that might mean trouble. Everyone's movements gradually slowed until the only sounds were Virgil's monitors and the nurse's periodic announcements.
"Did it work?," Logan finally asked, voice cracking.
The first doctor approached him and nodded slowly. "It worked." She paused, looking closely at Logan, who had slumped forward, shaking. She then glanced at Janus, briefly catching his eye. "Mr. Croft," she addressed Logan. "We're going to keep Virgil sedated and monitored here in recovery for at least another day. Now would be a good time for you to get some rest." She sought out Janus' eyes again. "Perhaps your brother can take you home?"
Logan looked up, eyes wide, mouth falling open to protest. Janus rested a hand on Logan's arm and caught his eyes before he could speak. "Lo, you need at least a little sleep so you can take care of Virgil and Remy." Logan looked from Virgil to the doctor and back to Janus. He nodded and sighed. Janus addressed the doctor, "I'll get him home. What time should he return tomorrow," Janus caught sight of the large digital clock on one wall, "Rather, later today?"
...
Janus quietly turned the lock on his front door, slowly opening and holding the door for Logan. The two took in the chaos of Janus' ordinarily pristine main room. There were dishes on the counter and table, a few of Remy's toys scattered across the floor, and the rest of the contents of Remy's daycare bag were dumped in a small pile in the corner. "Oh, Jan, I am sorry - ," Logan began a whispered apology when Janus touched his arm, shaking his head with a little smile. He tilted his head toward the other end of the room, where Remy lay sleeping on the fold-out loveseat, Roman asleep next to him, sitting up and holding his hand.
Logan's face softened. "I will get him home."
"Wait, Lo - ," Janus murmured, "You're both more than welcome to stay here. I'll get the sleeping Prince into my room and you can share the pullout with Remy." He gestured at the sleeping pair, smiling, "It's quite comfortable."
Logan adjusted his glasses, "I would not want to intru - "
Janus raised an eyebrow, "It's late and Remy's asleep. Stay, please." Logan sighed, nodding, feeling the weight of the day falling down on his shoulders. Janus smiled and walked over to Roman. He paused for a moment, deciding on the the gentlest way to wake him. Finally, Janus brushed his fingers on Roman's arm, whispering close to his ear, "Roman, my dear, we're back."
After a few more whispered words, Roman blinked blearily and he looked at Janus, gaze not fully focused. "Come to bed, my dear." Roman hummed sleepily as Janus pulled him to his feet and led him to his room. Janus came back out a few minutes later. Logan had taken off his shoes and was snuggling Remy in his arms, eyes already closed. Janus opened a closet, retrieving a larger blanket, and draped it over the two. "Good night, Logan. We'll figure this all out in the morning."
Janus carefully opened the door to his room, wincing at a tiny squeak from the hinges. Once he entered his bedroom room, however, he saw that Roman was sitting up in his bed, phone in hand, frowning slightly. Roman put the phone on the nightstand as soon as he saw Janus come in. Janus smiled and whispered, "Roman, go back to sleep. It's very late."
Roman narrowed his eyes at Janus. "Only when you do." His expression softened immediately. "You must be exhausted. Come here," he murmured, lifting up an edge of the blanket and scootching over, making room for Janus to lay next to him. Janus sighed heavily, swallowing back the lump in his throat. The events of the day were starting to catch up with him, as well. He nodded and climbed into the bed, wrapping his arms around Roman, drawing them close together.
Finally Roman voiced his worries, "How is the baby?" He tilted his head to face Janus.
Janus nodded vaguely, "Virgil is recovering from his surgery. He's ... doing as well as we could hope for right now." Janus blinked rapidly, burying his face into Roman's hair, breathing in the scent of strawberries. Janus swallowed again, pressing his lips together. He started to shake and Roman looked up at him in the dim light, cupping his cheek.
"Sweetheart, are you crying? What - what's happened? I thought Virgil was going to be ok ... " Roman maneuvered himself higher in the bed so he could better see Janus' eyes.
Janus opened his mouth, ready to deny he was crying, but he tasted the tears. He breathed out shakily, tightening his arms around Roman. "Earlier today ... ," Janus looked into Roman's eyes. He could feel the pain of the day fighting and pushing its way out, wanting nothing more than to lay in Roman's arms and let go of everything. To let go of his worry for Logan and Remy and tiny Virgil, let go of the weight of what he knew and of what he suspected. And then Janus thought of Logan shaking, terrified of losing everything. He blew out one more breath. "Today has just been a lot." He closed his eyes and caught both lips between this teeth, ashamed of how close he came to breaking Logan's confidence.
Roman's brow furrowed, looking carefully at Janus. Finally he nodded, "Yeah, it has."
Janus' jaw worked, trying to control his trembling mouth. "Today showed me how easily ... how fragile this can ... " Janus blew out another breath, shaking his head. He met Roman's eyes. "You're very precious to me, do you know that?"
Roman squinted at Janus, "Are you - you're ...," He bit his lip, searching for the right words. "I ... I get the feeling you're not telling me something and ... ," Roman sighed, brushing Janus' hair away from his eyes. "And I don't know how to help you, Janus."
Janus squeezed his eyes closed and whispered into Roman's hair, "Just let me hold you."
Roman rested his head against Janus' shoulder, stroking his arm. "Alright, I'm right here, Sweetheart. I'm right here." He bent to kiss Janus' collarbone. "I'm not going anywhere."
...
The next morning, Janus woke to the aroma of coffee, the sound of Logan and Remy's quiet voices in his living room, and the wondrous weight of Roman's head still on his shoulder, arm draped over his chest. He allowed himself a few moments to absorb the sensations, steeling himself for the day ahead. He opened his eyes and glanced at his alarm clock and sighed. Time to start this day. "Roman, my dear," his gravelly morning voice rumbled, "it's time to wake up." He gently stroked Roman's hair, kissing first the top of his head and then his forehead before Roman suddenly looked up, kissing him full on the mouth. He broke away after a few minutes, breathless. "So ... you're aw-awake then."
Roman shivered and laughed. "That was a nice way to wake up."
Flushed and breath hitching, Janus licked his lips. "Yes - ," he cleared his throat. "Yes, that is a fine way to wake up. I - I believe we, um," Janus blinked at Roman's laughing eyes. "I believe I have just been ambushed in my own bed."
"Hmmm... that's the best place." Roman leaned in for one more kiss before leaping out of the bed, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. "C'mon, didn't you say it was time to wake up?"
Janus took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "I'm going to make sure you regret this someday," he growled, smiling and letting all the heat he felt gathering inside himself shine through his gaze.
"Oh, I doubt it ..." Roman purred, pulling on Janus' hands.
"You don't think I will?"
"I don't think I'll regret it," Roman teased before ducking out of the room, leaving Janus blushing and in dire need of a moment to collect himself.
A few minutes later, Janus emerged from his bedroom, bracing himself for the chaos that he remembered of the room last night. Instead, he saw Remy and Roman eating and giggling quietly together at the table, Logan on the phone in the kitchen area, and a spotless front room. Logan caught his eye and raised a half-filled coffee pot, eyebrows questioning. Janus pressed his hands together and bowed his head in thanks. He made his way toward the kitchen, running his hand along Roman's shoulders and saluting Remy as he passed them.
Retrieving a mug from the cabinet, Janus poured a bit of coffee inside, tasted it, and then poured a generous serving. Holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder, Logan was making notes on a small notepad - Does he carry them around? That's not from my apartment, Janus mused, shaking his head slightly. "Yes, I spoke to the doctor this morning. Mm-hm. Virgil is doing really well." Logan slowly copied something down onto his notepad. "Mm-hm, yes, the doctor said he should be able to come home by the end of the week. I will call you from Children's. I expect to be there within the hour." Logan nodded, making another notation. "Mm-hm, yes, yes, see you later this afternoon. I love you, Kels."
Janus turned away, paying careful attention to his coffee cup. He could feel his jaw clenching and didn't have full faith in his ability to school his face out of an angry expression. He glanced over at Logan and noticed that he appeared to be keeping his left hand in his pocket. And so the day has begun. Janus finished his coffee, rinsed the mug and dried his hands on a dish towel. "So, let's talk about today's plan." He looked at Logan. "Where do you need us most? Consider me at your disposal."
Roman added, "I have a shift at the center this afternoon, and need to check in with my brother, but otherwise, I'm yours." Roman caught Janus' eye, "Well ...," and winked. Janus tried to scowl through his blush. Logan laughed lightly, shaking his head.
"I would apologize, Lo, but you have no-one to blame for us but yourself," Janus joked, gesturing between them, shrugging. He took a deep breath. "In all seriousness, though," Janus gripped Logan's shoulder, "How can we help you today?"
Logan carefully squeezed Janus' hand with his right and looked at Remy. "Priority number one is to get Remy to school."
Remy turned in his chair and grinned, sliding down and bringing his plate and cup to Janus' sink. Roman's eyes widened and laughed. "Hey, you, how come you didn't do that last night?" Remy shrugged and stood next to his dad. Roman shook his head, still smiling. "I can drop Remy off at the center, if that helps."
"Thank you, Roman, yes, that does help immensely," Logan reviewed his list. "I have already stopped by my place for a change of clothes," Janus noticed for the first time that Logan was, in fact, wearing different pants than yesterday. He also noticed that it looked like he had changed the gauze bandages on his hand. Janus glanced around again at the now-clean apartment. Janus started calculating and -
"Logan, what time did you wake up this morning?," Janus finally asked. Roman looked up, eyes narrowed, meeting Janus'. They were having the same thought.
"Admittedly, it was rather early. I will catch up on sleep at a later date. You need not worry. I woke early without an alarm." Janus frowned, thinking of at least a half a dozen things that could have plagued his friend's sleep, not the least of which is that damn hand injury. Janus took a breath. While Logan appeared to be unaffected by his lack of sleep, Janus could feel his own sleep deprivation peeling back his filter and scraping against his sharp edges. Logan reached for Janus' arm. "I do need to make one more phone call to the library to ensure they can fax me my FMLA paperwork, but afterward, would you be willing to accompany me back to Childrens'?"
Logan smiled as Janus nodded. "Of course, Lo, whatever you need."
that dreadful feeling when you’re reaching the end of a fic you’ve spent the last few days obsessively reading and it’s all pointing to an unhappy ending
Being a loner all his life started to take a toll on Rhetts well being. Finally deciding to take solace in the sea, he started on a voyage he may come to regret, meeting a creature he knew he could never forget.
