Cw~ Internalised Homophobia, Kinda Cheating (but also not?)
An~comment if I mentioned your birthday, I'm curious now lol guys. Guys. GUys. GUYs. GUYS. JOSH X YN. ID DIE FOR THEM. I MEAN IT. Im so jealous of you boys, but you deserve your treats too, so I'm happy to provide 💚💙When I'm in a 'writing an absurdly long UD fic' contest and Elliebean714 walks in :O Sorry for bad capitalisation/punctuation/grammar, I'm too lazy to fix it, but I'll write a billion word fic on a dime bc girlhood is a spectrum. Me when the homosexuals hold hands🎊💗🎉 Don't know how to write smooching scenes, but i do it because I love it. Josh is blessed with physical touch (& PDA) being his love language and cursed with having to keep his bf secret, I'm DYING SOMEONE CALL THE ER This is mostly dialogue. I'm sorry, ITS THE ONLY THING I WRITE WELL. yall know that song 'Eastside'????? JOSH. X. YN. AND ILL SAY IT TIL THEY DRAG ME INTO THE WHITE ROOM WITH PADDED WALLS. yall know when you write something so good and you just 💥💥? like sometimes ill read back what i just wrote and ill tense up and scream. is this what its like being proud of your work? is this normal or autism? THEY HAVE A DAUGHTER ARE YOU LISTENING!???!!!?!?!?!?!? lil smooch on the forehead for anybody who reads all my ans. that pic of justin bieber smiling in his mugshot is so me. <3 uhhhhhhh, so it just came out that they made a spongebob kit for the sims 4?? why?? who was frothing at the mouth for that?? its so hard to write scenes not including josh and yn. IDGAF ABT THESE DUMBBITCHES, GIMME MY LIL GAY BOYS OR GIVE ME DEATHHHHHHH. oooh is that a plot i see? is a plot finally fucking developing with 2 parts left? how sweet of you elliebelly.
Pre-Game & During-Game
(Sam's Pov)
Of course, it couldn't all be great. Sam had just finished reading josh panicking to Y/N after a bad talk with his parents. Her heart stung sympathetically as he explained why he was so upset. His parents had confirmed his worst fears, they could never accept a queer kid.
January 5th 2012
Y/N help I'm freaking out-
You there?
Please, I need you
-Hey, I'm here, calm down, it'll be alright.
Can you tell me what happened?
They know-
-Who knows what?
Help me understand, goofball
Sorry-
I was having dinner with everybody, and you know how horrible people just NEED to let you know how horrible they are?
-Yeah, I know what you mean for sure
Well my mom and dad started randomly talking about how awful the gays are and stuff-
And I kinda freak out inside, you know? And they call tell something is off
-Did you come out??
NO-
Nonononono nothing like that
-Then what's the problem?
They saw me get all pale and awkward-
They have to suspect something
What if they kick me out? I can't be on my own
-I know, calm down, they won't. Trust me
They don't know
They would've brought it up if they did
(18:02)
-Josh? You okay?
Yeah-
Sorry
Just had to find my anxiety meds
All good now
-Great.
Ily
Ily2-
(Josh's Pov)
Josh sighed and dropped his phone onto his chest. He stared up at the ceiling, feeling his heart slow and the pounding in his ears subside. Eventually all he could feel was the cool evening breeze from his open window and all he could hear was... footsteps coming up to his door? Oh shit-
"Josh, you okay? I wanna talk to you!" His little sister called from the opposite side of the locked door.
"Yeah, Beth, gimme a minute-" He chucked his phone into his bedside table with all those fucking meds nobody could pronounce then hurried to the door and unlocked it "what?"
She barged right past him and collapsed into the bean bag in the corner of the room, one he only put there so she'd have somewhere to sit, because for some reason Bethany Washington was allergic to sitting normally. "Dinner was weird, huh?"
Josh felt his stomach drop but did his absolute best to have no reaction "Yup." He closed the door, wiped his increasingly sweaty palms on his jeans and sat on the edge of his bed facing her.
Beth studied his face for anything, after a moment of silence she bluntly asked "You into guys?" The air left his lungs in a millisecond, he could feel his face going white, before he could respond she nodded, as though that alone confirmed it "Yeah. Knew it."
"Please don't tell-"
"Shut up, dude. I'm a lesbian. I won't tell if you don't."
Josh breathed slowly to help calm his racing thoughts, he nodded to save himself from saying something stupid.
"Cool... you gay?"
"Bi." He corrected, with a dry throat.
"Got a partner?"
A hint of a smile appeared on his face "Mhm. Boyfriend."
"Who? Does he go to our school?"
"Y/N L/N. He's in a couple of my classes"
"Oh, never heard of him."
"Good," Josh muttered under his breath. There was another beat of silence between them before they spoke in tandem, "how'd you know?"
"Can I see a picture?" They'd laughed, Josh nervously, Beth lightly, then Josh walked to his bedside table to grab his phone while Beth explained herself. "You had that same deer in headlights look I did my first couple times." Which made Josh turn a little red, he thought he hadn't reacted externally.
He returned to his spot on the edge of the bed, clicked the most recent photo, Y/N playing with Atlantis on his bed, and passed the phone to Beth "Uh, here's him." Her face brightened "Oh my god, Kittyyyy!!!" She gasped and smacked his arm playfully at her realization "That's why you're always covered in cat hair!" Josh just nodded with a wide-ish smile. "Oh, I love him, whats his name?"
"Y/N- nope. You meant the cat, Atlantis. And her."
"Aha~ oh, Atlantis. She's delightful." Beth passed the phone back. "Cute boy too, he single?"
"Shut up."
(Sam's Pov)
All Sam could do was hope it turned out okay afterwards. There was no real closure for her in the texts, and, well maybe the fact that, presumably, nobody knew he was bi was enough proof that things were alright in the end.
She decided to skip forward, nothing was catching her eye honestly. They were all becoming the same, she wasn't learning anything. She threw back her head in frustration, which was exactly what she needed, a break from staring at the phone. Sam looked around the room, Chris and Mike weren't back yet, Ashley was still curled up in a ball on the couch shivering and covered in pigs blood. Sam asked if she was alright, but the only answer was an almost imperceptible nod.
She'd considered heading out after the boys. To talk to Josh about it all. To have it all explained and answered. Why would he break up with Y/N? What could've gone so wrong? As badly as she wants the answers now, she knows he's definitely not stable at the moment, and everything she's looking for is in this phone. Or at least the questions that'll get her the truth.
So, Sam scrolled for a bit then stopped in May, mid-fight. It was a jarring shift, and very intriguing for her.
May 15th 2012
I didn't want to go, Y/N!-
Jesus Christ, its like you're not even listening!
-It doesn't matter if you wanted to, you still went on a date with someone who isn't your boyfriend of almost three years, Josh!
What did you expect to happen here?
I did it for US!-
To protect us, please, Y/N, fucking listen to me
-Us??
Josh it's all you.
It's about how scared YOU are of being found out
We're a secret because of YOU
You're protecting yourself.
Wow. Yeah, you're so fucking lucky you don't have to live in fear cause of this-
I'm genuinely scared for my safety every day I live in this house, but yeah, I should definitely be public with you.
Yeah, your feelings are way more important than my safety.
Thanks sweetie!
-YOU
WENT
ON
A
DATE
WITH
SOMEONE
ELSE
Don't try to turn me into the bad guy here.
Then I guess we're both the bad guy-
-If we have to do that, then you're so much worse
Can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm really tired-
-Don't run away. Talk to me.
Can we meet up tomorrow? I don't want to talk when we're this mad-
-School
Ditch, I really miss you-
-Fine. Let's take the night to cool off. See you tomorrow.
Love you-
(Read 01:51)
(Sam's Pov)
Her mouth was agape, Josh went out with someone else? Who!? Why?! Sam was racking her brain trying to remember if Josh ever went out with somebody, but nothing was coming to mind. She threw her head back, trying to think harder, and eventually gave up, there was nobody, that was why she was so shocked to find out Y/N existed at all.
"Hey, Ash?" Her voice cracked out, if she couldn't think of anything, the chances of Ashley being able to were negligible, but why not try? Ashley didn't respond verbally, she just lifted her head and looked at her. "Do you remember if Josh ever had a... girlfriend, or went on a date, or... I dunno, anything like that? I'm just trying to figure out why this happened."
"He said it was cause of Hannah and Beth, what would an ex girlfriend have to do with it?" Ashley spoke up, her voice was hoarse from being unused.
Sam leaned back trying to come up with an excuse "Yeah, but like, surely there's more to it? I mean I just find it hard to believe he flipped into... that in just a year, you know?"
"Well, I remember there was that one girl, 2 or 3 years ago that he went on one date with, but that's about it. I really don't think there was anything serious."
She looked down at the phone in her hands "Me neither." She sighed.
(Josh's Pov)
The diner was pretty much empty when Josh sat down. The sun shone through the windows and hit the thin glass vase in the middle where Josh placed a rose from the small bouquet he'd brought, and showered blue light over the opposite side of the table. His leg bounced as nerve induced adrenaline pumped through his bloodstream, if he messed up again today, he'd lose the love of his life.
Josh had already ordered Y/N's favourite meal from this place when he arrived. Wearing a look of weary eyes and frizzy hair matching Josh's own, signalling to him he'd also not gotten much sleep the night prior. But there was a subtle shift in his expression when his eyes found Josh's across the room, it brightened. Like it always did when they found each other across the room.
The ambient sounds of the diner were muffled by the increasing pounding in Josh's ears when he sat down. They'd held each others gaze from the moment Y/N found him, and held it for a good 10 seconds after he sat down, before Josh broke the tense silence with a nervous "I got you these," as he passed the roses over "I know you're upset, and you have the right to be, but I want you to know I love you. No matter what dumb shit I do to hide it."
Y/N took the flowers and placed them on his lap. "Can you just... can you talk me through it? Cause right now all I know is you went out with this girl and I'm expected to be okay with it."
Josh looked down in shame "I was scared. People were pressuring me, then wondering why I wasn't dating, and I just- I got paranoid, I'm so sorry. I found some girl and took her out in public to show it off."
The tension in the air thickened and Y/N sat there, mouth agape "Jesus Christ, Josh." He shook his head in disbelief "What the hell?"
Before Josh could defend himself, the waitress brought the food he'd ordered for them both before Y/N showed up. The woman gave the boys a look, it made Josh nervous, when he ordered food for two, she'd obviously assumed a girl would be coming instead. But now there's another boy sitting with roses in his lap and a wide eyed joyful expression at his favourite breakfast food. Although maybe Josh was reading into things, because the woman was still perfectly respectful as she placed the food in front of the boys and left. Josh dropped his head and mumbled under his breath "I know..."
"You really just found 'some girl' and used her like that? That's so mean! What were you thinking??"
"I was thinking..." Josh hung his head in shame "I was protecting myself. That's all it was. Didn't matter who I hurt, I just had to show my parents... I'm sorry. I was scared, I fucked up. I don't know how to fix it..." he'd begun tearing up by the time he trailed off, voice full of shame and regret.
Y/N leaned back in his chair, considering Josh's words. "Well, before anything else, you cannot see that girl anymore. Apologise and break it off, please." he says sternly.
Josh nods "100%, I already did a week ago. Don't worry about that."
"Right, good." He exhaled "And... Please talk to me... if you need to do this again. you can't do something like that without talking to me!"
"I will! I promise, never again. I wont ever be impulsive like that again. If im ever scared, or- or worried or anything, I'll tell you, and we can work it out together," Josh leaned in and reached in across the table to hold Y/N's hand "promise." his voice was shaky, but sincere.
Y/N exhaled slowly as Josh's words sink in "Alright. Okay," he lifted his gaze to meet Josh's weary one "I guess it wasn't, like, proper cheating so... I think we can work past this." He watched Josh's eyes light up, and could tell he was fighting back the urge to jump up and hug him, and cry, and kiss him and all that gay stuff.
Instead, a mumbled "Thanks," escaped the hidden smile on his lips, and it took a few extra seconds for the tension to dissipate before the boys could start eating. When they do, its quick so they don't have to talk, when they do, its light small talk, but its better than arguing. Afterwards, they share a short hug and part ways, thinking things through the whole way home.
(Sam's Pov)
Well, she may not have known exactly what happened, but the subsequent texts between them slowly became less strained, and they were able to get back to a somewhat normal, so it seemed to have worked out, whatever it was.
To liven her spirits, she decided to keep scrolling until she saw a picture of everyone's favourite girl.
August 29th 2012
-Y/N sent a photo
-Ya girl misses you
Oh, how I wish I didn't have to leave her-
-Ah, tis the cruel fate ae a soldier
Always scurrying towards 'em warzones in hopes of glory
When the true glory is wae yer lover and bairn
WHY ARE YOU SCOTTISH????????-
-Stop being racist, Joshua.
Good thing everything was back to normal by August. Maybe that fight was a piece of why they broke up, but it seems they weathered the storm this time.
-Y/N sent a photo
-Doing that thing where she digs her claws into me, but its meant to be sweet I guess.
Yeouch. Don't envy you much there, bud.-
-Yeouch is fuckin right, this shit is awful
-Y/N sent a photo
-Oh, but she's cute, how can I be mad?
Pretty privilege. Smh-
-Shake it all day and night boy, this girl can do anything to me
This sounds like an abusive relationship-
-And? Its my abusive relationship
(Josh's Pov)
Josh walked the streets of Burbank with a pep in his step as the sun began to set. He shook his shirt free of cat fur, remembering how affectionate little Atlantis had been, especially since it'd been a month since she'd seen him.
He had been walking in circles around the block, waiting for Y/N to text him saying his parents had left, and when he finally did, he sprinted (casually jogged) to Y/N's house, where he found Y/N in the doorway holding her in his arms.
When he approached, Atlantis jumped out of Y/N's gentle hold, and ran towards Josh. "Hey girlll!!!" He bent down to pet her back as she rubbed against his leg.
Y/N joined her soon after and gave Josh a quick kiss on the cheek in greeting "Hey me too, right?"
Josh picked up and kissed Atlantis on the top of her little kitty head, she purred loudly and bashed her head against his chest when he lifted his to smile at Y/N "Yeah, of course, everybody gets one." Y/N wrapped his arms around Josh, laid his head on his shoulder, and walked him inside the house.
~~
Even though it was light, and Josh could've just walked through the front door, he instead, made the choice to climb the wall and sneak into his room. Because who wants to ruin such a good day? As soon as his feet touch solid ground, he swipes his jeans in an attempt to clear them from cat hair, he smiled remembering how playful she was, how she clung to him, staying firmly in his lap so he wouldn't leave.
He knew the way to Y/N's room like the back of his hand, so he carried Atlantis all the way there while Y/N grabbed them some snacks and met them a few minutes later.
Y/N walked in on them cuddling on his bed, Josh laid on his side with Atlantis curled into him, gently purring. He placed the packets of junk food on the foot of the bed and joined them, laying on his side opposite Josh. Atlantis trilled and purred as she was showered in pets, cuddles, kisses and "Good girl"s between her two papas.
"Man, I remember when we first got her, she was all sooo anxious all the time. And really shy, remember? But every time you'd come over, she'd immediately come runnin' over for snuggles with dad 2." Y/N smiled faintly.
"Dad 2 feels mean."
"What? You're the sequel. Like a really good sequel."
"Am- Am I supposed to thank you?"
"Eh, no I guess I'm humble enough to live without one."
"Well, thank you."
"Oh em gee, what? This is so unexpected."
"Mmh, I love you."
"Smart move, I'm very good for you."
~~
After getting changed out of his cat hair covered clothes, Josh landed on his bed and opened his phone to find a photo of his boy and his daughter waiting for him.
God, he couldn't wait to leave this stupid fucking house.
(Sam's Pov)
Welp, Sam couldn't deny they were a funny couple. In fact sooo funny, it caught Ashley's attention. She stared at Sam for a few seconds before speaking up in a wabbly, yet very curious voice "What are you looking at??"
"Uh- uh- well- it's- uh..." Sam's face goes red as she struggles to explain why she's invading her friends privacy "It's Josh's phone...?" she answers with a guilty expression "But listen! I'm not trying to be weird, it's just-"
"I don't care." Ashley sniffles, rubbing her pink button nose in the hopes of warming it up. "You do what you have to."
Sam smiles a thin line "Uh huh," she nods, but Ashley's stamp of approval didn't do much to soothe her guilty conscience. She shouldn't really be doing this, should she?
Reading through her mentally unwell friends texts with an old lover. Even just thinking through it makes her feel shameful. The worst part was that she wasn't really doing it for evidence or explanation, it was cause she was invested. She'd started treating it like a novel or something, but it's not, these are real people, this isn't entertainment, she needs to either stop or be serious about it.
She knows the answer. Even recognising that continuing is weird and invasive, she can't stop. So take it seriously, what happened here, and how can it help Josh.
These texts are extremely helpful, of course, but there's one thing Sam hadn't thought of trying yet, looking through Josh's room to see if there's anything there. The workshop was full of the pyscho's stuff, his bedroom was sure to be full of Josh's stuff. That's what she needs to do, there's something in there. She's sure of it.
"Hey, give me a couple minutes, I'm heading upstairs to look for something." Sam was up on her feet and heading to the stairs before Ashley could react.
While walking up the stairs, Sam swiped once and let the messages land on mid 0ctober, climbing as she read:
October 16th 2012
-Your sister is awesome
-Y/N sent a photo
WHAT THE HELL?!?!-
WHERE DID YOU MEET HER??
AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY BEDROOM??????
-Lmao, I broke in cause I thought you'd be home
Oh. so you're a dirty rotten criminal?-
-Absofruitly
BTW, you're very cute in your yearbook pictures
IM GOING TO KILL BETH-
-AVGHCFXGFCJVCGFXHGVVHJBHJVTFYV
NOOOOOOOOOO
SHES THE BEST
She's also gonna go missing-
-YOURE CUTEEEEEE PROMISEEEE
Yup. Youre going missing too-
Cant have any witnesses
-NEOOOO I AM INNOCENTTTTT!!!
Tell it to the judge-
(Josh's Pov)
Josh started going to school without prompting, which used to be a once a year occasion, but I guess some people just influence you without you even knowing. But Y/N had also been influenced by a certain someone, and decided to not go to school after his dentist appointment. What could he say, he shrugged with a smug little smile when Josh interrogated him afterwards, he thought Josh was still a delinquent youth.
So, as Beth told it, she was on her way to Josh's room to borrow (steal) his charger, and when she walked in, Y/N tumbled in through the open window. She screamed "AH- WHAT THE FUCK?! GET O- Y/N?"
"Uh... hi..." he stood up and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans awkwardly, "You know me?"
"You're Josh's boyfriend. Why are you in here??"
"Wanted to surprise him..." he looked down at the floor, humiliated.
"He's not here... I'm home alone"
"How did you know we're dating, did you find out? Do his parents know?"
Beth plopped down on Josh's bed and plugged her phone in "Nah, don't worry, just me. He told me, well I figured it out first then I got him to confess," she gave him a once over with a small smile on her face "He's crazy about you. Won't shut the fuck up about you. To me at least, well I think I'm the only one who knows about you, so when he has something to say he just offloads it all onto me," Y/N and Beth laughed softly "I mean it though, he's totally obsessed, with you and little Atlantis."
"Of course you know her." Y/N shook his head, smiling like crazy.
"Uhhuh, the culprit for 'who left all this cat hair in the house, we do not own a cat.' They laughed harder, fondly, almost like old friends. Beth was retelling the story to Josh in the evening, and was still grinning ear to ear over finally meeting the elusive Y/N from the stories and the photos. Soon after this she introduced her long term girlfriend to Josh because she was so excited.
They took a picture together to send to Josh, which when Y/N sent it, scared the shit out of him so mission accomplished. Then apparently, Beth got all excited and brought Y/N downstairs so she could embarrass Josh.
Beth snickered as she pulled out one specific yearbook from one of the four hundred mahogany bookcases littered around the 'home'. "Here, he looks so stupid!!!" She opened the book and zeroed in on the page with a child Josh from before Y/N knew him.
"Awww, he's just a baby!" Y/N cooed, taking the book from her hands.
"Pft, a baby dork! Oh, man, you gotta see this picture of him," she took the book back and flipped to a page to one of Josh and a friend she named as his best friend, Chris.
"I know Chris! Josh talks about the dumb shit they do together all the time!"
"Well I don't know what he's told you! I have to reveal all his deep, dark secrets!"
"Oh yes you do, ma'am."
Y/N stayed all day chatting with Beth, drinking sweet tea with homemade cookies swapping stories of Josh's two lives, until Beth received a text that her sister, Hannah was on her way home with Sam.
At which point, Y/N and Beth hurried over to the kitchen where Y/N cleaned the dishes quickly and Beth bagged some cookies for him to take back with him. He texted Josh when he got home and when Josh and Beth could be alone later that evening, she cackled the whole time Josh freaked out on her. Lovingly, of course.
(Sam's Pov)
Sam stopped at the middle platform of the steps, checking the date and... yeah, she was there that day a few hours earlier. She and Hannah did their homework in the study, and Beth was... well, looking back, she was buzzing about something. So subtly that Sam didn't even notice at the time. If Hannah did she never said anything.
It kind of made Sam smile that Beth knew. That someone knew. Knowing Josh wasn't fully alone with this just made her smile. Sam swiped up again and read whatever it landed on as she crept further up the stairs.
December 10th 2012
-Come overrrrrrr
I miss you bb
Hello to you to-
-Get your cute butt over here neowwww!!!!
Or are you busy moping around?
I'm comin-
Calm down, loser
-YEYYYY *Claps hands like a little seal*
Awe, should I bring you some fish?-
-no
Very insightful, thanks so much. Ugh, whatever. She slides the phone into her back pocket and continues towards Josh's bedroom.
(Josh's Pov)
Josh rolled his eyes and rolled out of bed as well. He had plans of staying in bed and moping around. It's a school day, Y/N was supposed to be in class right now. The world's turned upside down.
He looked in the mirror, fixed his hair, drenched his face in water, and left through the window. He already felt like complete shit, he didn't need those heartless shitbags screaming at him to get better.
(Sam's Pov)
The door was obviously locked from the inside, meaning Sam had to get creative. It was a double-sided lock so she'd be golden if she could find the key. There wasn't a crowbar or anything nearby so that was her best bet. Sam looked around the hallway with an investigative eye, but nothing was clicking. A pile of sealed cardboard boxes, an evergreen leafy plant and the railing stood out the most as stuff to investigate.
She didn't have time to open each of the boxes individually, so she picked each one up, shook it and listened for any sort of sound that could be interpreted as a key jostling around, but none had anything. Great. Moving on to the plant pot, she dug her hand into the dry dirt and searched around for anything, but all she found were roots and tiny stones, she pulled her hand out and lifted the pot to look under, again nothing. One last thing to try, she ran her hand under the railing between each bar and once again, there was nothing that could help her open this stupid door. She grumbled, God damnit, there's gotta be some way-
THE WINDOW! She could climb in via the window from the room next to his! Sam crept over to that door, Beth's room... Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves and still her shaking hand, she gently opens the door.
(Josh's Pov)
"Hey," Josh's voice was empty and tired, he was sure he looked like it too.
Y/N's face fell "What's wrong?"
"Bad day." Josh sighed in response.
"Oh," Y/N nodded in understanding "something happen?" Josh shook his head, before Y/N could respond, Atlantis joined them at the door. She weaved herself between their legs and purred when Josh crouched down to scratch her head. "Wanna come in and watch terrible Hallmark movies?" Y/N offered with a sympathetic smile.
Josh huffed with a tiny, imperceptible smile while still on Atlan's level "My favorite holiday tradition."
(Sam's Pov)
Beth's room is ice cold. So cold it almost hurts. Exactly how she left it. Frozen in time, waiting for a dead owner who'll never return. Sam identifies the window directly next to Josh's room and quickly crosses the frozen tundra to open it wide enough for her to poke her head out, to allow her to check on the window into Josh's room, its locked. Sam turns back into Beth's room to find something small but heavy enough to crack Josh's window.
And of course, just her luck, there's nothing here. Not that Sam had anything particular in mind, but Jesus, there's nothing here!!! "Thanks Beth." Sam grumbles, slinking into the bean bag in the corner of her room, she always loved these things. "Man," Sam looked around the room with just her eyes "almost like you never left."
She did, but... the room wasn't completely untouched, she remembered now, last year after Beth ran into the blizzard after Hannah everybody went back to the lounge room to talk, but Sam went to the kitchen to check on the boys, found Beth's camera and brought it back home to her dresser before going to meet everybody else and tell them off again.
Sam was on her feet and at that dresser in an instant, she whipped the door open and grabbed the camera, exactly where I left it. Sam beamed with pride as she rushed over to the open window and opened it far enough for her to squeeze through.
She climbed out and placed her feet on the windowsill and closed the window behind her to give herself more room. She ensured she had a tight grip on the frame above her and the camera, "Whooo, okay, shit- don't look down-" Sam took several deep breaths through her gritted teeth. Just get it done, just get it done, just get it- Sam lifted her eyes and focused on the windowsill leading to Josh's room. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.
(Josh's Pov)
No one would make the argument California winters were cold... like at all. But that doesn't mean snuggling under blankets drinking hot cocoa wasn't an option. Might not be smart all the time, but fuck it if it isn't the best. Especially when the one under the blankets with you is your favorite person on the planet. And your favorite kitty, but of course.
The tv was playing "business woman, small town man ," or something like that, Josh and Y/N were hootin' and hollerin' at every little thing that happened on screen. But they're also being very deep and thoughtful, "Ew, that's so creepy!" "Tell me that's not cultish! Tell me! they won't let her leave!!" "Oh my god, She said no a million times! Take a fucking hint!" "Is it just me, or was her ex at the beginning low-key a better person than country boy?"
Josh was laughing so hard, God, only Y/N could cure his bad days. He looked over to his glowing face, can't wait to run away with you... "Hey," Josh spoke up with a slight quiver in his voice, when Y/N met his gaze with that goofy smile on his gorgeous face, he cleared his throat "I love you."
And Y/N snuggled in closer, his head in Josh's neck "Mmh, love you too."
(Sam's Pov)
The winter air made her tense fingers turn red, she shuffled closer to the window in her view, closer to the edge. Okay, FUCK, okay, a sharp, icy pain stabbed her directly in the lungs as she soothed her nerves. Even breathing hurt up here. Once she got to the end, she strained herself, took one last deep breath, and reached her left leg over to Josh's windowsill.
When the tip of her foot grazed the edge, she shuffled closer and closer until the foot still attached to Beth's windowsill was at the end, no going back now. It took several tries before her foot latched onto the ledge securely, Sam finally released her breath "Okay, okay, c'mon you got this-" she heaved.
Next, she streched her arm across to the other frame, her other hand clutched onto the camera and frame even tighter as she flexed her fingers to regain some warmth and mobility. As soon as she could, she gripped onto the window frame and with her hand and foot on Josh's window she shuffled over very slowly, until she was fully in front of Josh's room.
More deep breaths to steady herself, Sam bares her teeth, pulls her arm back, whips the camera into the glass, and again, and again, and again, until it finally shattered, inviting her inside.
Sam let out a huge sigh of relief once her feet were back on solid ground. The cold wind continued to whip around her, but thankfully, her fingers were already warming up. She wasted no time snooping around, nothing was off limits.
Drawers, nothing but pills, shelves, nothing but cd's, closet, nothing, well, not nothing. There was a jacket that looked very similar to one Y/N wore in one of the pictures forever ago. Josh probably borrowed it and couldn't bare to part with it... but other than that, nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Not under the bed, or hidden in stacks of books Josh definitely didn't read. Nowhere. There was nothing. She did this for nothing...
She placed her hands on the desk, grumbling "God damnit," and shaking her head "there must be something... there has to be," she stood up straight, more determined. Think, girl think... okay... look somewhere no one would look...
And so Sam examined the room, scrutinizing every little thing. Eventually, her eyes become fixated on the ventilation shaft above the door, is that panel loose? Holy shit, it is! Sam took the chair at the desk over to the door and climbed up to investigate the vent shaft.
Definitely loose, the screws aren't the tightest, the one in the bottom right corner is even missing, presumably lost to the shadows beneath her. Looking inside, there does seem to be a vague shape between the slits. She tries to turn the other screws with her thumb and forefinger with no luck...
So, Sam climbs down and runs over to grab a shard of glass, and returns to open the vent. She fits one the sharp ends into the slot of the top right screw and carefully twists it so she won't cut her hand. It falls in seven turns, landing on the wooden floor and clattering a few times before falling silent, lost to the shadows with its comrade.
She repeats this process for the top left screw and watches the panel slump down, left hanging by the last screw. "Yes, c'mon, c'mon..." Sam shoves her free arm inside and pulls out a full paper stock folder.
The glass shard drops to the floor as she eagerly examines the exterior of the folder. Its an A4 beige folder, plain and unassuming, just before she could open it, there was a blood curdling scream from bellow coming towards the lodge. Sam wedged the folder under her arm, carefully climbed off the chair, unlocked the door, and ran downstairs to help.
