when one cares (18+)
summary: after rescuing you from the northmen, long-suppressed emotions rise to the surface, and the careful restraint between you and your friend finally shatters
pairing: uhtred ragnarsson x f!reader
word count: 5k
warnings: friends to lovers trope, vague confession of feelings, kidnapping (reader), descriptions of injuries, the pretty boys being worried and reader failing to recognize their concern, vulgar language, oral (fem!receiving), dick-licking (just the tip), unprotected sex, creampie, praise, let me know if i missed anything<3
Death was no stranger in these lands, not in this life.
You had not said a word since the rescue. No doubt your liberators’ minds reluctantly lingered on what you had endured. The weary expression etched into your features told them enough. They did not dare ask lest your tongue corroborate with the suspicions hounding their wits.
It had been dark, and the only sources of light came from Máni and the thatched roofs the Northmen had torched upon their arrival. Your party had been on the way back to the Elmeslac estate, camping out in the northern Jórvík woodland, and when you saw the fire licking at the sky, it was clear as day what the cause was.
You had let your guard down for just a second, and it had nearly cost you your life, as well as that of others. There was no self-pity within you, only a seething disgust and exasperation directed at yourself.
Osferth had convinced you to eat and drink despite your complete lack of appetite—you had always found it difficult to say ‘no’ to the meek lad. The warriors you regarded as friends were treading lightly, and although you had no wish to cause worry, you were too occupied in your mind to comprehend the extent of their reasonable dread—raiders possessed no morals, adhered to no code. They were the very definition of barbaric, and any foreigner in their capture could expect the treatment of a slave.
Besides the humiliating experience of having your nakedness paraded, the blows you had received as a result of biting a chunk of flesh off the first brute that tried to hump you, and a bout of unconsciousness, nothing had happened to you. At least, nothing had scarred you too much.
The night did not drag on for long. Osferth reluctantly retired upon seeing you finish your meal. The familiar chatter by the hearth fell on deaf ears, providing you no comfort as it usually would. You did notice the absence of laughter and crude jests, and while there was what sounded exactly like home, you appreciated the quietness of its absence, your brain thumping too hard against your skull. More men followed and turned in for the night, seemingly not in the mood to call the rescue a victory despite the death of the raiders. Sihtric and Finan left, too, but only once it had gotten too quiet, leaving their dice to echo awkwardly in the hall.
You had not paid much attention, too busy staring into the flames swirling around the head of a torch, but heavy footsteps moved closer to where you sat perched against a wooden pillar. You did not have to move your head the slightest to know whose it was, the familiar clanking of buckles and chains revealing Uhtred sooner than he could say a word.
“Do you not wish to rest?”
Uhtred was angry with himself for not attacking sooner, blaming only himself for allowing you to suffer their presence for as long as you did.
You had known each other for a few years now, lived close, laughed and killed, avenged and cried together—his instinct was to comfort you physically, amicably rub your back, pat your shoulder, embrace you, or something. Today, he was afraid to lay a hand on you.
A moment passed before your lips finally parted, voice coarse and low, as if gravel had lodged in your throat. “I don't think my mind will allow me.”
Uhtred sighed heavily.
You thought he might leave you for the night, but instead he sat on the floor beside you, legs spread, then crossed, seeking your gaze. The need to comfort you itched at his skin, and he wiped a hand over his face, leaning slightly forward with his elbows resting against his knees.
“They are all dead, frozen over in Niflheim.”
It was nowhere near enough, he felt.
There was no emotion in your eyes, nothing that would divulge your experience, but that was no surprise—you were not an easy scare, Uhtred knew this. It made his blood boil to think any filthy bastard had taken one of his own like a slave.
“You will not meet my eyes.”
This drew a reaction from you, even if it was only your lips twitching, skin tightening across your jaw. You tore your eyes from the fire, though they fell on the floor between you and not his eyes.
“I let myself distract,” you muttered.
Uhtred's brows knitted together in confusion. Should you look at him, you knew you would find his plump lips pursed—they always did when he was bewildered. “I do not understand.”
“When I heard Finan call on you, I thought you were in danger. I let myself distract and got overpowered all too easily,” you sneered, shaking your head.
“It’s what happens when you fight with people you care for. It becomes easy to get distracted. It could have happened to any one of us—”
“It shouldn’t have,” you interrupted harshly, finally meeting his eyes. They looked too soft to be the steely, blue orbs of Uhtred Ragnarsson. Something flickered across his irises, and you gulped, turning away once again. “I am here to fight, not care.” The word sounded like poison on your tongue.
“Not even for me, woman?” he chaffed, unable to withhold the charm he so easily wielded.
Cocking your head at him, you scoffed and rolled your eyes, while he chuckled softly, the sound making your chest tighten.
“Whether you care to admit it, we all care for each other here,” Uhtred started. “It's what makes us both strong and vulnerable. But it is not a weakness—”
“Until it is,” you cut in again, watching him wince subtly. He did not appreciate interruptions, you knew as much; however, his scorn was not your prime concern in this moment. You were too angry with yourself. “I allowed myself to be taken and thereby dragged the battle on for longer than what was needed. I put the rest of you in further danger. You cannot say otherwise—”
“I can and I will.” It was his turn to speak again, his tone acerbic. “We killed the raiders in the village, but had they not stolen you and fled, we would not have found their base. I will never wish for harm to touch you, but your rescue saved a great many women and children from collars. They will live because of you—your distraction saved them.”
You looked back up into the fire, resting your head against the pillar. There was no use continuing to fight him on this; Uhtred was too steadfast.
It was nothing but embarrassment that harassed you; however, Uhtred believed your silence indicated something more, and he worried that the Northmen had taken the fight from you. He spoke your name in a voice barely above a whisper: “I am sorry I was not there sooner.”
You furrowed your brows when you noticed the regret in his expression. Now he was the one who looked tormented by shame. Cursing, you finally realized the reason for all the men tiptoeing around you. “They did not touch me, Uhtred.”
Lips parting ever so slightly, confusion was once again apparent on his features. “They did not? But you were…” he began, trailing off, suddenly feeling ashamed to admit to having seen your nakedness when they found you.
You caught on. “Some tried. But when I bit a chunk of one o’ the bastards’ arm off, I suppose they decided I wasn't worth the fight—threw me into the cage instead.”
The surprise gradually vanished from his expression. While he could not believe any man, especially a raider, would not fight to the death for a piece of you, relief filled his lungs like the air he so desperately needed, the coil in his chest slowly but surely loosening. He sucked on his teeth, his own desire too crude to voice. He teasingly nudged your knee with his own. “So that's why you were not too hungry.”
Chuckling, you gazed back at him. “Still got dirt in my teeth,” you jested, then felt the heaviness of guilt return. “I'm sorry for causing you all worry. Aside from a few smacks, nothing happened to me, I swear it. I've only been quiet because I was too ashamed to face you.”
Uhtred sighed and instinctively reached across to take your hands in his. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, never,” he insisted, squeezing your warm hands.
The coarse pads of his thumbs caressed the scarred skin on your knuckles. You sighed deeply, your head drooping slightly as you relished in the feeling of his strong hands grounding you, keeping you. The crackling of fire and warmth enveloping you, the smell of food lingering, and everything him—it was enough to make you feel light-headed. You were focused on your breathing - eyes closed, knowing there would be no danger around you - when you noticed the tension in his hands, and you wondered if it was restraint.
You had seen it before in his body tensing up around you, when you had lingered too long after a wanton joke, stared too deeply into his eyes after a teasing comment. It was always brief—just a flicker. The subtle way his jaw would clench, how his shoulders stiffened like he had to physically brace himself. Sometimes he looked away with a half-laugh, like he had not noticed the heat crawling between you. Other times, he held your gaze for a moment too long, eyes unreadable, like he was weighing something behind those stunning blue eyes.
The first time you had noticed this tension, you had questioned yourself—whether you were imagining it, if perhaps you were reading too far into a fleeting moment that really was nothing more. You had decided to test him, after that, wanting to know if he would ever go further with you. But that was before today, before the raid—there was no challenge now, only the feeling of him. Not just the warmth of his hands, the squeeze of his thick fingers curling around yours. It was the stillness in his breath as well, the way you could almost feel the ghost of it fan over your skin, the way his thumb's caress faltered a tad when you locked your gaze with his, how his eyes spoke truths he could not form with his tongue.
You could not fathom why he was looking at you as if seeking permission, as if sitting with you like this was bringing him immense pain. Uhtred Ragnarsson had never been shy, never been afraid to take what he wanted. You could not help but question yourself, thinking you were, in fact, projecting your own desire onto him.
You were not one to spiral into self-doubt, so in the moment of vulnerability, you decided to reveal the cards you had been dealt. “Are you going to kiss me or not, lord?”
A thin sheen of that familiar arrogance spread across his face, though his brow cocked in surprise. “Is that something you would like, lady?”
Scoffing, you rolled your eyes at his deflection, not feeling particularly emboldened by his sudden interest in what you wanted. Just as you moved up on your knees, intending to leave with a chance missed, he took you by surprise by reaching for you once again, pulling you down on his lap, catching your lips with his.
The kiss gave way for all that had been held back, like a dam breaking, desires flowing freely. You gasped into him, lips parting, and Uhtred did not hesitate to accept the invitation to claim you, hungry tongue sweeping into your warm mouth with a growl low in his chest.
His rough hands held your waist tightly, pulling you closer as if he was afraid you might bolt, while your own snaked around his shoulders, legs instinctively wrapping around his form. A large hand slid down to your thigh, kneading the flesh possessively and swallowing the moan you emitted. Now you felt bold.
Grinding down on him, the firm bulge pressing against your clothed core made you smirk against his lips, biting down on his plump bottom lip as he groaned into you.
“You will be the death of me, woman,” he breathed heavily, though unable to hold his grin back as he needily leaned forward to catch your lips again.
Your hand clutched the hair at the nape of his neck, keeping him in place as you cradled his jaw in your other hand, thumb ghosting his cupid's bow. “Don't worry, warrior. I will give you a fair chance.”
This elicited a cocky chuckle from Uhtred, and his teeth snapped for your wet lips. Something resembling a beast's craving growl escaped him, hissing as your grip tightened in his hair. “Hopefully not too fair.”
You laughed heartily and pressed him into the crook of your neck where he latched on and eagerly began to suckle on the sensitive skin. Grinding your hips again, you gasped raggedly when his teeth teased the flesh at your throat as he simultaneously pressed your harder against his growing cock.
“Come,” you whispered, suddenly pulling off of him.
You took his hand and dragged him up the steps and into your room, where the fireplace cast a golden hue on the walls—since returning, you had not been in the room, but figured one of the men had prepared it in case you wished to retire immediately.
Now that Uhtred knew you wanted the same thing, he no longer hesitated. The moment he closed the door, he pinned you against it, mouth finding yours like he simply could not bear another moment without. Between roaming hands and tangling tongues, you stole breaths between fervent kisses.
While your one hand was entangled in his locks, the other slid down his sturdy chest, fingers looping through his belt, forcing his crotch closer to your sex. Uhtred hissed into your mouth and complied by grinding forward, suspending you against the wooden door with his hips.
“Do you feel what it is you do to me?” he rasped lowly, tracing his plush lips against the shell of your ear. “You have no idea how often I've thought of taking you.”
Your hand slid from the back of his head to cradle his jaw, thumb brushing over the stubble at his cheek as he continued to press soft, reverent kisses along the curve of your neck, trailing up to the corner of your mouth. “So why have you never acted upon this desire, lord?” you murmured, teasing, though the question was genuine beneath the jest. It was difficult to believe that Uhtred - a man of great renown and impeccable sword-skill, who faced enemies twice his size without flinching - would be reluctant in taking what he wanted. “You're not someone to beat around the bush,” you added, voice low, breath hitching as his lips hovered near yours.
Another kiss on your lips, passionate and entirely bewitching. He then rested his forehead against yours, thumb and index tipping your head by the chin. “You are the fiercest shield-maiden I have ever met. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were not someone to simply take—I had to be worthy.”
A coquettish smirk tugged on the corners of your lips. You reached for his hand and guided it between your legs, allowing him to feel your dripping heat underneath the clean gown. Your alluring lips brushing his as you spoke, “and now? Do you think yourself worthy?”
The breath was stuck in Uhtred's throat the moment his fingers grazed your bare core—hot, slick, ready. His blue orbs widened a fraction, darkening as his jaw clenched at the feeling of your desire. The muscle twitched beneath your palm, his breath suddenly uneven as if you had stolen all sense from his being. You gasped when he slid his finger through your lips, coating them in your juices. “You will always be worth more than any man on this earth deserves,” he muttered, tracing the line of your seam like a warrior learning the edge of a new sword. “But I will worship you deeply and violently. I will stand between you and every bastard who wishes you harm—” he pushed his middle finger in. “I will burn kingdoms, split skulls, make the Gods bleed should they try to take you from me.”
Uhtred curled the thick finger inside you, eliciting a breathy moan from you as your eyes fluttered shut. That wolfish stare did not waver, wild and sharp eyes - like the tip of his blade - locked onto yours, a golden sheen from the fire glazing them.
He inhaled your ragged gasps, chest puffing out as if he were feeding off of your quiet whimpers. “I will never be worthy of you, but I will die trying.”
Your walls clenched around his finger, and something sounding like a strained sob escaped your lips as you pressed your forehead harder against his, hoping it would help you cling to this moment.
“Gods, Uhtred,” you whined, lips nibbling at his. “I need you inside me.”
“But I am inside you,” he teased, adding another finger, curling them against your spongy walls, making your cheeks redden further from the squelches your cunt made.
While grinding into his hand, you reached down to feel his hardened length in your palm. “I need your cock.”
Uhtred chuckled lowly, continuing the teasing pace and taunted, “say ‘please’.”
Jaw taut and brow arched, you had to hold your tongue from giving in to the assault. Your grasp tightened on his clothed cock, squeezing. “Take me now, or I will call on someone else—Osferth is always so eager to please.”
Something flashed across his eyes, and it was not difficult to guess what. His thick fingers halted as a knot tied between his brows. “You would not dare.”
“Would you care to find out?” you quipped, tilting your head.
In an instant, he withdrew his fingers and lifted you by the back of your thighs. “You are wicked, woman,” he growled before pressing his lips to yours, leading you to the bed.
You grinned into mouth and let him place you on the soft furs, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders when he began kissing down your throat, sucking, biting, sure to leave marks—at least, you hoped he did.
As you tugged on his shirt, he suddenly stilled, allowing you to pull it over his head, but it seemed the pre-existing bruises had finally caught his eye.
There were bruises all over your body. The left side of your ribcage and neck was decorated with purple and yellow, lacerations to your thighs and stomach, red flesh where chains had secured your ankles and wrists.
“Do not treat me as if I were damaged, Uhtred,” you soothingly whispered, cradling his cheek so that your eyes may meet.
You watched his Adam's apple jump beneath the skin in his throat and sighed, hating how his eyes filled with a concoction of sorrow and anger. Swinging one leg around his waist, you used the momentum to turn him over and straddle him.
Reaching down, you pulled up your gown and discarded it. You guided his large hands to your breasts and moaned at the feeling of the coarse pad of his thumb brushing your perked nipple.
“You will worship me regardless of my bruises,” you ordered, grinding your drooling sex against his still-clothed shaft. “And you will give me new marks to erase those of our enemies.”
A wild beast rattled against the cage of his ribs, seeking to both wreak havoc and devour, make the world bleed your name.
Sitting up, one hand remained on your breast, caressing the soft flesh, pinching your nipple, while the other cupped your face. Uhtred leaned close and placed a soft kiss. “Deeply and violently,” he reiterated.
Then he rolled you over and admired you for a second, breathing heavily as he took in the sight—hair tousled, naked, panting, wanting. With a deep sigh, he moved to rid himself of the rest of his clothing.
You bit your lip to suppress the contented moan from spilling, weary eyes feasting on the man before you as he stripped. The belt buckle clinked softly as it landed on the carpeted floor, and Uhtred chuckled as you licked your lips in anticipation.
When he had rid himself of all his clothes, his thick cock stood proud, throbbing and waiting, you whined and shifted on the bed, wiggling further down to feel him.
You swiped your thumb across the slit leaking pre-cum, smearing it around the red and angry mushroom-head before leaning down. Uhtred hissed, his chest puffing out as you pressed your lips to the tip, kissing the sensitive skin before taking it into your mouth.
He cursed under his breath when your tongue swirled around him, a hand coming down to brush back your hair, and you looked up through your lashes as you moaned around his head.
Inhaling sharply, his hips stuttered when you hollowed your cheeks, and his head fell back as you cupped his tight balls. The way you watched him was enough to send him reeling, ready to spurt his seed down your throat, but that was not what we had in mind—he was there to worship you, and he had every intention of doing so.
Growling your name warningly, you hummed in response around his head, before he forcefully pulled you off by your hair.
Leaning down, he hungrily licked into your mouth, one hand holding you by the jaw while the other snaked down your body, pinching your nipple.
“Mm—Uhtred,” you mewled, squirming.
“I know, I know,” he shushed. “Come here.”
Despite his appeal, he did not wait for you, moving you further up on the mattress himself. The warrior peppered wet kisses from your collarbone to your chest, sucking on the supple flesh of your breasts, down to your navel. You writhed instinctively under his touch, the hot breath, the tickle of his beard, all playing a part in unravelling you. His hands splayed across your waist and smoothed teasingly down your thighs, massaging the curves, admiring how you bucked into his touch.
“I am losing my patience, Uht—hmff!”
His wet, hot tongue licked a long stripe between your folds, smearing your slick with his saliva. He held you by your thighs, as if knowing you would try to wiggle away—and you did, not because you wished for him to stop, but a natural response from your body receiving too much too suddenly.
Involuntarily, your back arched and your thighs clenched, but there was little room for movement under his restrictive hold, and you had to bite down on your fist to stop yourself from moaning too loudly. Your walls tightened, his greedy tongue exploring as far as it would reach, as he groaned into your cave.
Only when he felt your legs rest limply on his shoulders - bar the occasional twitch - did he loosen his grasp, and prodded at your clenching hole with his fingers. You gasped when two thick digits curled against your velvety lining, immediately nudging at a spot you could never quite reach yourself.
“Gods,” you whimpered, craning your neck to see him. The moment your eyes met his, looking back up at you as if you were temptation incarnate, his lips latched onto your bundle of nerves, tongue flicking your clit and you all but sobbed his name. “Yes, yes, Uhtred—don't stop.”
He would not dare.
Increasing the pace of his torturous assault on your leaking cunt, you felt your orgasm approach, smouldering your restraint. One hand fisted the furs whilst the other pressed at the back of his head, fearing he would suddenly break away. He added a third finger into the mix, and you chanted his name in a string of pleas.
Uhtred hummed in satisfaction when your juices coated his tongue, his fangs digging into the flesh of your thigh as he let you ride against his face, coming down from your high.
Pulling back with a smug expression and your need lingering on his chin, he slowly removed his fingers from inside you. Your eyes fluttered open as he climbed atop of you, pushing his digits down on your tongue before kissing you passionately, like a man starved.
You were panting when he pulled away, pressing his forehead against yours, grinding his hard cock against your belly. Although his ego certainly was in no need of a boost, your fucked-out expression and seraphic pout had that exact effect, and he could not help the self-satisfied smirk from tugging at the corner of his lip.
“Think you have another one in you?” he teased, wiping a strand of hair away from your cheek.
Reaching down between you, you guided his throbbing cock between your slick folds. “I have a feeling you will bring it regardless of what I say.”
He chuckled in response. When you had lined him up at your entrance, he pushed his lips to yours and thrust inside. Uhtred moaned as he relished how your walls clamped around him at the intrusion, and it took everything in him to not pull out and fuck back into you with the ferocity of a deprived animal.
Crying into his mouth, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling his chest against yours, and appreciated the moment to adjust. Still pulsing with desire, you quickly overcame the stretch and ground against him.
He obliged your wish and sheathed himself in your warmth again, and again. Rolling his hips, Uhtred swallowed every sound you offered, groaning against your skin as he continuously stroked that spot inside you.
Your nails clawed at his back, legs wrapping around his waist, only for him to reposition them on his shoulders, pressing forward, making you bite down on his shoulder—it managed to dampen the sounds spilling from your mouth, though it did nothing to silence the wanton squelches and obscene slapping of skin.
“Shit!” you whimpered, panting heavily.
Uhtred kissed your calf before leaning back down to capture your lips, essentially folding you in half. His eyes were trained on you, and he interlaced his fingers with yours, holding them on the sides of your head as he pounded into you. Your head bumped against his, and you winced slightly, somewhat nonplussed. Then he chuckled, the faint dimples showing modestly, and you grinned into his mouth.
“Gods,” the warrior moaned, nipping at your lip, nuzzling his nose against yours, murmuring your name. “Taking me so well.”
The way your cunt clenched at his praise spurred him on. The pace increased, completely careless of the intensifying sounds of your union, and you, too, were lost in the pleasure to care.
With another kiss, Uhtred leaned back on his haunches, holding your legs against his chest as if they were braces securing a pair of pants. “See how you coat me. Like the Gods made you just for me.”
You gasped when looking down, seeing how he sheathed himself in you, your cum creating a pearly white circle around his cock like a little bracelet. Cursing, you threw your head back into the furs, unbridled moans tearing from your throat as he began toying with your clit again.
“That's it, milk me dry,” he encouraged, feeling how your walls spasmed.
His hips snapped against yours at a pace sure to leave your skin red, heavy balls slapping against your ass, mouth open and panting in heavy breaths as he claimed you like he had imagined so often.
You became a blubbering mess as the pressure mounted to an almost unbearable peak. Desperately clawing at his chest and neck, seeking something solid to anchor yourself as you teetered on the edge, Uhtred continued his praise, loving how your body responded to him. It had never been his wish to see you unguarded; however, this—completely unfettered from all inhibitions and all for him, it made his head spin and pulse with a primal need to fill you with his seed, leave no doubt in your mind who you belonged to.
You cried out his name as you came, squeezing him so deliciously he could barely focus on his movements. Hips stuttering, he desperately thrusted until he emptied himself deep in your sex, cock twitching as hot, milky ropes coated your walls.
When he finally slipped out, you whimpered at the loss, but the ache quickly eased as he shifted beside you, draping a heavy, muscular arm across your chest. His breath was still ragged, warm against your skin, and the quiet weight of him there was enough to settle you.
The warmth between you lingered, skin still damp with sweat as your breaths slowly evened out. He was absentmindedly stroking along the lines of your ribs when you finally looked at him, reality beginning to seep back to you.
“Are you watching me?” he spoke softly, voice coarse, eyes closed.
“No,” you lied without another thought, but made no move to turn your gaze from his face. You were not sure you had ever seen him look so at peace.
Uhtred blinked up at you, a smirk slowly edging onto his plush lips. His arm flexed when he pulled you closer, making you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. “It's okay. You can look at me,” he assured with a teasing lilt, draping his thigh over yours.
A few moments passed before you spoke. “Will this be a… regular thing?”
Uhtred frowned slightly and moved so that he could see your face. “Woman, now that I have had you, I don't think I will be able to continue restraining myself.”
While you did not meet his eyes, he watched as a smile curved the edge of your lips, adoring the way you sheepishly tried to hide your face in his chest.
You hummed softly, letting your body tangle with his, and pressed a chaste kiss to his skin. “Good.”