#ulpius

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Ulpius: So my partner-

Sentia: You have a partner?

Ulpius: I do, the whole time you’ve known me.

Sentia: Oh. I always thought you were feral.

Ulpius: Er, do you mean ‘single’?

Sentia: Whatever the word is that you use for stray cats.

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Ulpius: Aurelia, can you keep a secret?

Aurelia: Oh my gods. No, but go.

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Equitia: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Rufius?

Rufius: No.

Ulpius: I do.

Equitia: I know, Ulpius.

Ulpius: I’m sad.

Equitia: I know, Ulpius.

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The Oracle: Ulpius-

Ulpius, sighing dramatically: Sentilla used to call me Ulpius.

The Oracle: Because it’s your fucking name.

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Sentilla: I would die for you.

Ulpius: I would die for you first.

Lucretia, from across the room: No one here is dying!

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Iulia: Do you think there are gods?

Ulpius: Well, somebody’s out to get me.

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Sentilla: I'm cold.

Ulpius: Here, have my jacket.

Claudia, witnessing this: Malleolus, I'm cold too...

Malleolus: Well damn, Claudia! I can't control the weather!

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Sentilla: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized.

Ulpius: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Sentilla: That one. I want that one.