if love is just a waste of time, why not waste it on me? by livinginaworldofnoise
if love is just a waste of your time, why not waste it on me?
by livinginaworldofnoise (@gh0st-0f-luke)
G, 5k, Wangxian
Summary: Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Requested Cake Type: [purple velvet]
Frosting: [red wine-flavored whipped fondant]
Filling: [margarita-flavored jello]
Size: [24 layers]
Shape: [rhombicosidodecahedron]
Writing on Cake: [sorry for lightly singeing ur couch. i just wanted to see if it was flammable, for science. i honestly think it looks better like that but here’s a cake since u apparently don’t agree]
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Could Not Be Fulfilled
Hello,
The bakery is unable to complete your cake request from Order #103123 based on the information you provided. Apologies for the inconvenience.
Best wishes,
Gusu Lan Bakery
OR: lwj is a baker. wwx wants to order a cake. what could go wrong?
Kay's comments: Wei Wuxian is such a menace in this story, but it pays off, because he gets the baker. His cake requests are utterly ridiculous too.
Excerpt: To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103147 based on the information you provided. This order was rejected because it is unfeasible and does not align with the baker’s professional standards. Your orders will continue to be rejected until you submit one with legitimate specifications that can actually be achieved. Please contact another bakery with this request instead of continuing to submit order forms, and refrain from asking invasive personal questions about the owner.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Do not reply to this email.
epistolary, modern setting, modern no powers, bakery, baker lan wangji, unconventional format, flirting, texting, of sorts, lan wangji is so done, first meetings, humor, romantic comedy
~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
Fate steps in; another lunch, a deal, an offer rejected, a breakdown in communication.
——
A taste:
Lunches were a finite resource, like everything else, so they required careful management. Harvey also worried about overstaying his welcome. Bruce didn't seem to mind his chatter so much, but then, he wasn't sure if he would be able to tell otherwise. He had been tossing out crumbs, testing topics in between their lessons, noting which ones elicited the crooked brow, which made Bruce’s chin tip slightly toward him or away, which provoked an actual reaction or follow-up question. It was hard work, harder than Harvey was accustomed to when reading someone else, but good practice.
Bruce talked more during those lunches than he had in a very long time. His throat felt tight with it at the end of each lesson, but every time, it got a tiny bit easier. Mostly, he stuck to what Harvey needed to know for his next class, his next quiz, his next oral exam. It was difficult work, trying to catch and concentrate down the truths he seemed to know by instinct and turn them into concepts he could express to someone else. And then Harvey would ask a question and before Bruce knew it, he'd be talking about something else entirely—his favorite books or the flowers in Alfred's garden or the big suit of armor in one of the halls that used to scare him as a little kid.
At least when they worked on his Latin, Bruce had to speak. And once he started, Harvey found he could tease out a little more. He found he liked listening to the kid talk. Usually, when other people talked, Harvey spent his portions of silence cataloguing them, noting commonalities and weaknesses, influences and impulses. He still did that with Bruce, it was a part of him that would never fully shut off, but the majority of him just enjoyed the thrill of winning another sentence, another thought.
other tags: social media, unconventional format, coming out, soft launch, pov outsider, canon compliant, secret relationship, established relationship
rubontruther
Okay that's it I'm making a Rubon 2023 shenanigans masterpost.
#And maybe some people will come to the realisation that maybe they are dating
galextruther
YES JAMIE DO IT WE WILL SHOW THEM THE TRUTH
13 notes
rubontruther
17 Reasons Why We Think George Russell And Alex Albon Are A Couple
We’re only six months into 2023 and Alex and George have been keeping us well-fed with their content, but if you look at everything together, it seems like they’re dating. Why? Well, see for yourself.
***
After almost five years of dating, Alex and George are done with all the hiding and secrecy, so Lily, Carmen and Alicia suggest a soft launch. The internet has some thoughts on the matter.
Title: SystemError
Fandom: Genshin Impact
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Karkata & Abattouy
Warnings: Spoilers for Tighnari's first story quest, nonfunctional code
A/N: Karkata sure did make my heart hurt, and this is what came of it! The coding formatting make look strange on mobile devices.
–
# SET INITIAL STATES
karkataTasks = [‘make coffee’, ‘forage for food’, ‘find mechanical parts’, ‘fix Karkata’, ‘assess damage’, ‘stare at human’]
karkataReady = True
fullStash = input(“How many parts do you need to fix something broken?”)
SystemError : The value of numMechParts is less than fullStash, and abattouy_selfRepair cannot be run. currentTask has been set to ‘find mechanical parts’.
